Over Thinking--Hmm, Can We Do That?

I'm a thinker. It's how I'm wired. Oh, of course, I laugh and cry and what-not, but when it comes to processing anything, it goes through an extensive system of thought.

Pipes of pondering, I'd say. Thoughts about one concept, problem, or anything really, can travel down the pipes of my mind for days, if not weeks!

Nothing wrong with thinking through things. Nothing wrong with having an inquisitive mind. Nothing wrong with the way I'm wired by God....unless, I let it turn into what Joyce Meyer called "excessive reasoning."

You see, one of my greatest strengths is the fact that I'm a thinker. However, I'm realizing it can be one of my greatest weaknesses. I can become obsessed with an idea or problem, to the point that it can wreck my faith.


Joyce put it this way.

Reasoning occurs when we try to figure out the "why" or "how" behind something. When we reason excessively, our minds revolve around and around a problem as we try to understand it, which causes a whirlwind of worry and confusion.

This one really got me.

As soon as you become confused, you have left off pondering and gone into excessive reasoning.

Yep, that can most certainly be me. Here's what God says on the whole thing.

...a mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6

That is a great measuring verse for us. If our minds are full of chaos and confusion, then we need to let God control them. It is work and requires us learning how to settle down and believe. I know this is something I'm going to have to work on for sure. I guess I should say, it's something I'm going to let the Spirit work on in me.

I'll try not to think about it too much. ;)

Natalie

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The Arrogance of Unbelief

I'll keep this brief because I myself am still processing, seeing as how I just realized this yesterday. Maybe I should say that God showed me this just yesterday.

In a nutshell (after searching the Word and my heart) here is what I realized, er, He showed me:

My lack of faith, my unbelief, has the

potential to make God out to be a liar.

In other words, when I choose (in my own wisdom and arrogance) that I know the outcome of a situation, or I know that a particular promise of God can't possibly be for me, or I reason that God only answers some of his promises for some of his people based on certain situations, then I must know what I'm talking about...and he doesn't.

I have chosen to believe my own environment, heart, reason, whatever, and not chosen to believe God and his Word. So, he must be a liar if I don't believe he'll come through on a promise.

In essence, that's what my belief system says: he's a liar. Ouch, right?

Um, someone is faulty in their belief system and I'm thinking it's not God. So, what do I do? I go to the Word for wisdom and teaching.

...they have been entrusted with the very words of God...What if some did not have faith? will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? Not at all! Let God be true; and every man a liar. Romans 3:2 &3

If we claim we have not sinned (i.e. have not had unbelief) we make him out to be a liar and his word has to place in our hearts. 1 John 1:10

The man who says, "I know him" but does not do what he says (i.e. believe) is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. 1 John 2:4

I believe that God says to us, "I have given to the measure you have believed." Now, be careful! I'm not saying that if you dont' believe hard enough, close your eyes and squeeze real hard, that God won't come through. I'm simply saying, challenge yourself. Hold your belief system up to the Word of God and see if it matches. I was surpised and challenged by his amazing and wonderful promises.

Then, after much prayer and reflection, you too might be saying, "Father! Increase my faith!"

Thoughts?

In Faith,

Natalie

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5 Ways to Stay Sane!

Recently, I returned from a beautiful trip to Breckenridge, Colorado. Beauty, peace, strength, wonder. These are just a few words describing the awesome grandeur of those mountain regions. It is a breath taking as its counter-part, the desert…which is where I went spiritually that same trip.

I'm sure many factors played a part: lack of sleep, lack of oxygen, pregnant, travel, God, and even the Enemy of all of us who say we love Jesus, Satan. It was strange for me to find myself at the end of a week surrounded by the wonder of creation to be so far away from God. Random and strange thoughts blew through my mind. Sleep called out to me. Fear began knocking on my door and everyone's grass looked incredibly greener than mine.

I was feeling lost, alone, and a bit out of control. Thankfully, I had enough where-with-all to realize that if I didn't do these 5 things to stay sane, to stay connected, I could certainly go down the path of destruction further and further.

Talk
The first thing to do when you feel a "disturbance in the force" is to start talking!

The first person I went to was my husband. Second, I went to my girlfriends. The emails that were returned began to have an affect. The truth spoken to me by others came as a balm when I was unable to sort through the truth and lies for myself.

If we don't talk, we bottle-up and things become greater and bigger and worse. Our ability to diffuse the situation and discern from what is real and what is not is greatly dimished.

Listen
There are many-a-time when I'm driving that my kids will be talking to me and I simply do not hear them. Sometimes, I simply don't listen.

If you find yourself dealing with a time of darkness, loneliness, feeling unattached from God, or flat crazy, you must take opportunity to listen. Listen to your husband, or friends, or Pastor. Take time to ingest what they are saying because sometimes those words can speak louder than our deceiving heart.

Rest
In our microwave society, we find that we want all things to go at the speed of a button and a click. This is not always the case in the things of the heart and spirit and mind. Although the Spirit of God never goes into a state of inactivity, we would do well to find ourselves taking time to rest.

When I returned from our vacation, I had no option but to rest physically and spiritually. Meaning, I was okay with letting the Spirit do what He does even if I couldn’t see it or feel it. Just because we feel bad doesn't mean He throws His hands up and walks away for a bit. It just means He is faithful even when we aren't.

Calm down.
Slow down.
Sleep and little bit more.
Get to bed earlier.

Pray
In my time of separation, number 4 was the last thing I wanted to do: pray.

I found myself thinking a lot and pondering the things in my heart, but not really having active prayer with God. However, that does not mean He doesn't uphold who He is in me.

For instance: He's the author and perfecter of my faith. He is interceding on my behalf. He never stops praying for me. He is living and active. He holds me together by His powerful word...not mine.

Over a few days, His faithfulness to communicate with me in Spirit (even when I didn't know it) drew me back to faithful and active prayer.

However, if you find that you have the strength to stay in active, engaging prayer, well then, by all means, do it!

Wait
Up in the mountains I suffered a little bit from "How high are we?" tummy ache! I didn't have to endure waiting for Tylenol to kick in so I could go back into town. But, spiritually, it was a different story. I was getting sick and no earthly pill could snap me out of it.

I knew it.

God knew it.

By Sunday, JT knew it.

By Tuesday, my friends knew it.

I had done the first two things: talk and listen. I was in resting with sleeping better. I had a profound sense that my friends and husband were praying for me when I could not, and I was left with the final way to get back closer to my God: waiting.

That's it.

Not far from the art of resting is the art of waiting. Technology is quick and easy, but the things of the Spirit are to be experienced, tended to, and waited upon. Not in the sense of inactivity, but a humble awareness that God is working regardless of how we feel.

Allow yourself, and Him, time to restore your soul. Waiting is an art form. Practice it well.

The Five

These things were a life-line to reconnecting with the One who loves me most. I pray that in times of difficulty or in seasons of disconnection, you too will try using these five things.

Just so you'll have them:

1. Talk

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16.

2. Listen

Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Psalm 34:113.

3. Rest

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone... Psalm 62:5 4.

4. Pray

Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Hebrews 7:25

We do not know what to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:26, 27

Christ Jesus...is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Romans 8:34

5. Wait

I am confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm27:13, 14

Keep these five things active and you'll find your connectivity will be active as well. When you find you've lost track, kick these back into gear, and well, wait. :)

Serving you,

Natalie

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On Wearing Bras...

My oldest daughter, “Boog” wants to wear a "bra." It's not a real one and it's not like she even needs one. She's 9 and only 9 and there is nothing that shows she is anything but 9. Doesn't sound like a big deal does it? But, my husband (whom I affectionately call in the Blogosphere, Pastor JT) sees it as such. At first I didn't really agree. I mean, what's the harm in wearing a little "bra?" No one can see it and it makes her feel kind of older. Aha, that's the problem. Well, that's part of the problem. In fact, it's not really the problem. wait...

My husband couldn't really figure out why it bothered him so much, he just knew that he didn't want her wearing one.

Modesty? No.

Too "grown up?" Kind of.

It wasn't until he was talking about it with my brother-in-law about the whole thing that it snapped into the real reason why.

Boog wants to be someone she isn't.

She isn't a girl with "girls" yet, but she wants to be one. She isn't a girl who can wear make-up, but she wants to be. She wants to be someone else. Not that she isn't happy being Boog, she just wants what other people have.

Be older.
Wear this or that.
Have what they have.

Is it not the ageless dilemma, dare I say bondage, that women struggle with even as adults? We think we'd be happier if we had a job, or if we stayed home with our kids. We'd sure feel better about ourselves if we had the house she does, or a husband like that. We would most certainly feel better if we had her body or her hair.

"If only I had_____________."
"If only I was_____________."

You fill in the blank.

I want to train her to live in the moment God has for her. It's not so much about her acting out being and feeling "older." It's about her living in the moment of her age, purpose, and calling. Even at 9.

Not that there is anything with dreaming and having goals. No, that's good and right. But, I don't want her dreaming about the latest look, fashion, or boy. So, if that means the bra goes in the trash and some tears are shed, then so be it.

What about at 34? How often have I wished I wore a different bra size, so to speak. Lived on someone else calendar? Had someone else's opportunities? How often have I fallen for wishing I lived on that other, greener grass?

How much effort do I put into my life to make it what I wish it was? Which of those wishes should I go after? Which ones need to come under God's authority? Which ones do I need to stop wishing for?

Needless to say, the bra is going in the trash simply because she got busted wearing it the other day when we went out. It was okay to wear it around the house, but since she lied and snuck it out of the house to go to a party with us, it's going in the big green bin. We will remove the very thing that pulls her to feel like someone she isn't and caused her to sin.

...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...Hebrews 12:1 NIV

Our value is in Jesus and what He has done for us. He has a calling on our lives and we will live it in confidence and with grace. We have to stop believing the enemy who whispers in our ear that we would be happy "if only..." Stop letting those "wishes" cause us to sin against God and lie to ourselves and other about who we really are.

Father, may we find all we need in You!

Is there a “bra” you need to get rid of?


In Him,

Natalie

www.stilettoarmy1.blogspot.com

You Can Learn A Lot From a Dog

I usually feed the dog in the morning. My husband, JT, leaves really early and so he doesn't let her out and feed her because she might bark at whatever dogs bark at when people are trying to sleep and that's not cool.

So, he leaves her in her kennel and I let her out. The routine is the same every day.




Open Lucy's door, she heads for the back door while I'm scooping her food. As I reach for the door handle, she jumps up on the door so I can pat her head or something...which I don't because, hey dog, I'm feeding you, and that's plenty of love from me.

Out she runs and I follow with her cup-o-food.

Here's what gets me. It's the same food every day and you'da thought I was about to give her steak by the way she jumps around, wags her tail and then dives in like I just bought her ribs from Earl's Bar-B-Q.

Doesn't matter. It's her food and it's new every morning.

It struck me that there should be a resemblance to us and our hunger for God and for his Word. Yeah, she's a dog and it's dog food, but, it gives her life, it satisfies her and she can't wait for more.

Oh, I wish I were more like that. Not that I want to be furry and pant all the time, but you know what I mean. That I would wake up every day and wonder what delicious gift I will get from my Master today.

My food is the Bread of Life and I pray for a greater hunger for what is truly Life for me. I want a hunger for what gives me life, satisfies me and leaves me wanting more!

What about you?

Do you want to be more like a dog?

Natalie

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Are You in a Dry Spell?

I've heard people say concerning their walk with Jesus, that they are in a "dry spell." In other words, they "don't hear the Lord," or "don't feel anything," or "don't get anything out of the word."

I don't meant to be a party-pooper or disqualify what you might be feeling, but let me offer another suggestion:

Maybe the reason you're feel like you're in a dry spell is because of...you.

Remember the Israelites back in the Old Testament? They had to wander around the desert, not because God wasn't speaking, and not because they didn't hear a word from Him, but because of their unbelief and disobedience.

Fast forward to Jesus. He said, "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." The next verse lets us in on the secret to the living water, "By this he meant the Spirit whom those who believed in him were later to receive." John 7:38, 39

When we feel that we are in a dry spell and can describe our walk with Jesus as quiet, dry, uneventful, unproductive, and simply at a time when we neither learn nor desire to learn, this my friend, is not of the Spirit, but of us. It is a red flag, a sign for us to check ourselves.

Here are some tips to staying out of the desert!

1. Humble yourself before the Lord and consider what confession you might need to make. Are you meeting with Him? Are you aware of His presence? Are you walking in habitual sin? Are you reading His word?

2. Begin afresh the discipline of quieting yourself with Christ sometime during the day and making it a point to humble yourself to His Spirit within you. He never stops working. We are the ones who gauge His work based on how we feel.

3. Get your face back in the Word and go to it with expectancy and respect. It will judge your thoughts and minds and motives, but will also teach you, encourage you, and give you insight and discernment that you just don't have all by your onesie.

4. Ask for the filling of the Holy Spirit to come again! Ask Him to bring that water regardless of your situation or circumstance. He is LIFE! He is the living water and He will be faithful!

5. Get others involved. Find a friend that will ask you if you have made your relationship with Christ your number one priority. Those friends are priceless, and are also fun to shop with.

Now, are you in a "dry place"? I challenge you to take a good look at yourself and realize that our God is never far and certainly never with holds good to those who seek His face. Go back to the living water right now!!

Living in the Water,
Natalie!

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Descriptive Grace

"I'm a sinner saved by grace." How many of you would agree? Go ahead, raise your hand, talk to your computer.

I raised my hand too. It's not uncommon to nod our head in agreement, shake our heads at our failings, and then raise our heads to thank God for His grace. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It's good. It's humbling. Keeps it real. However, does anything strike you odd or out of the ordinary about that statement?

I began to look at it and I even asked God, "Do you prefer to hear 'I'm a sinner saved by grace,' or 'I'm a Child of God'? I think he just let me mull over it awhile. I came to a conclusion.

If I say and think "I'm a sinner saved by grace," then my definition of myself is "sinner." Yep, that's me. That may be true, but is that to be my identity to myself, even to others, or to God?

I believe that to continually put "sinner" on my I.D. card concerning who I am says more about what I think about myself than what I think about God.

Not that I can't recognize that I sin, but Sinner cannot, must not, be my proper name. I say this because the Bible calls the sin nature the "old man" or that which is dead in us. We were crucified with Christ, not that we live but that Christ lives in us. (Galatians 2:20) And if Christ lives in us now, how then can we make our main I.D. "sinner"? That is dead in us, it doesn't rule us and Christ went to hell and back to make sure we didn't let it define us.

If sin is so dominant, but forgiveness can trump it, the power of the Holy Spirit can overcome it, the cross shamed it, and God seated Christ at his right hand over every authority, then why give it such prominence in our description of who we are? Don't we all know we are sinners? Then why keep telling each other this?

Why not say, "I am forgiven - saved by grace."? Why ever call myself by such a name He came and died to set me free from? Jesus never referred to us as sinners saved by grace. He said sinners needed him. He said it is by grace through faith we are saved.

Ephesians 2:8 says "For it is by grace you have been saved..." and is followed up directly with "For you are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus.." not, "You are now a sinner saved by grace created in Christ Jesus..." Even in the very passage we get our phrase "sinner saved by grace," our God doesn't even say it! He calls us his workmanship. He gives us new hearts, minds, titles, positions and proper names.

Why not say, "I'm Natalie, a Child of God, forgiven, saved by grace, and oh yeah, I can struggle with such-n-such if you really want to know."

What if a dear Follower of Christ who was an alcoholic said, "I'm so-n-so, saved by Jesus who is breaking the bondage of alcoholism in me." Wouldn't that inspire more strength, more fortitude, more hope than introducing yourself as that which holds you so tightly?

And why do we only do that to those who struggle with alcoholism? Why not all of us? "I'm so-n-so. I'm a soap opera addict." I'm so-n-so I'm afraid of rejection." "...I'm plagued by bitterness." Why the proper names of addiction, sin, fear, worry?

I only wonder what would happen to us if we changed the way we define ourselves, whether we say it our loud or not. I believe those addictions are real and true, but what if we moved the statement around and stuck the truth of who we are in Christ first?

Would it disarm much?
Would we think differently?
Would we gain a greater respect for ourselves and a higher regard for the power of Christ in us?

I think I'll try this one for awhile:

"I'm a child of God, saved by grace, seated at the right hand of God, anointed by the Spirit, ready for the fight, and created to do what he called me to do when he set me free from the power of sin!"



Yeah, I like that one better. How about you?

In Him, Natalie

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My Old Dealbreaker

"You take one of my babies and the deal's off!"

A few years ago I stood in my shower and through my weeping, I threatened God, or at least I thought I did, that if anything happened to one of my kids I would walk away. Done. Over.

I literally thought that if the worst of my fears actually came true, I would blame Him and never talk to Him again. I was that afraid. I lived in fear; fear that He would take one of my children and if He did, so help me God... because no one else would be able to.

I had the same experience with Him a few years earlier when it came to my husband. I figured that one way for me to be "forced" into getting closer to God and having the "real me" exposed would be if I faced my worst fears. I cried and cried (again in the shower, I figure it's safe there) and said that I didn't want to get any closer to Him if it meant I would lose someone. The results I heard that come from suffering were not ones I was willing to suffer for.

All in all, it was a twisted pattern that stemmed from my grandparents being ripped from our family in a deadly plane crash when I was thirteen. Somehow, those emotions were capitalized on and the Enemy had a hay day with my thought life. Fear set in like cement and put a rock solid belief system in me that took the sledge hammer of truth to set me free.

However, just recently I was on the porch. I had my head leaned back and I was looking up at the clouds rolling by. It was a moment, just between me and Him. That day in the shower came back to mind and I realized at that moment, I didn't think that way anymore. I smiled and realized that I could actually play out my worst fear without being gripped by it. Now, He is my first thought. I think of Him as a refuge and know now that He is the one who would see me through such a terrible thing.

I'll have it no other way.

I've been set free from fear. I can now say that if the worst happened, I believe, in the end, He would still be my God and I would still be His beloved. There is no fear in love. There may be pain, but there is no fear.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. James 4:18

Natalie.

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Yield to be Filled

In the Old Testament, before the Spirit of God could fall down in the Holy of Holies, the deepest room in the Temple, the priests of the Temple had to get out. They couldn't even be in the room where His glory fell! That was a death wish!


It was God's place to rule, and His place alone. When His glory fell, the priests were at His disposal, doing what He wanted and waiting on His guidance.


It's the same with us. When the Holy Spirit takes up residency, we too must leave the Holy of Holies. We must make a cognitive decision in prayer to believe that the Spirit of God has seated Himself in the deepest place in us. We decide to humble ourselves to that power and believe that He will do what He says He will do.


The great teach, Andrew Murray, says this in regard to our humility to the Spirit:

The Holy Spirit is not given to us as a possession of which we have control and can use at our discretion. The Holy Spirit is given to us as our Master, who has control of us. We do not use Him, He uses us.

I know I have had that backwards before. I have lived, and believed, (even if I didn't say it out loud) that I had control. I have believed that I can just summon Him to do something powerful and God-like in my life without even considering that, um, I'm the one who is alive because of Him, not the other way around.


Such thinking kept His power from really breaking forth.


I was not yielding.
Not humbling myself.

I thought I was, but it was really just me trying to force the Spirit to do His job. I figured out that humility and yielding to the Spirit takes great patience and most certainly I found that it rubbed my flesh nature, my natural self, the wrong way! One of the hardest things for me to do a few years ago was go from my seat to my knees. Some of you may not have that problem, and I'm glad! It wasn't that I was all so into myself, it was just something I hadn't practiced, hadn't understood.


But the Lord says to us things like this:

I will give you treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel who summons you by name.
Isaiah 45:3

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

There is great reward and holiness in waiting before the Lord. It shows a soul determined to believe that the Spirit of Christ is the fullness of God in her. That He has the right to do as He wills and that He hold the deepest place in us and in that, we are changed.


We who are followers of Christ have His Spirit. Now, are we letting Him have full authority? Do we get out of the Holy of Holies and believe that regardless of what we feel, He is at work?

I encourage you: Be humbled. Be yielded. Be filled.

Blessings! Natalie

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Gummin' It Will Never Do

My baby has been cutting more teeth. It's not very fun for her...or her momma. Cranky little toot. No appetite. Doesn't sleep well. Rubs her ears and sometimes even cries when she eats. Oh, it makes me sad for her. But, the poor darlin' has to go through it in order to get the teeth. They cut through her little pink gums with no regard to the fact that hey!, this is a baby here. She can't even talk to tell me what hurts or how to fix it. Her gums swell a little and then begin to whiten right where the little booger is going to cut through.

I guess the worst part is knowing she's in pain without being able to actually see the tooth yet. It's her pain. It's deep and she is the only one who can go through it.

What bothers me more than that, is there will come a day in all three of my little girl's lives where I'll watch them walk through life-pain. Once again I'll see life hurt them from the inside and I won't be able to fix it with Ibuprofen or Boo-boo Bunnies. Their pain will have to make it's way to the surface just like everyone else. They might cry and tell me where it hurts by then, but I still won't be able to take it for them. Their little souls will whiten from the pressure and maybe even bleed. They'll be wounded.

However, (and there is always a 'however') by the power of the Spirit in them, they will have strength in their bodies soon after to be able to chew and swallow the bigger painful morsels of life. They will have strength to know what will be sweet to their spirit's and what will need to be spat out in order to live a life worthy of the calling. Their pain will be theirs, yes, but I would never take it from them. Their pain is His for the making, molding, growing, and most of all, healing.

Don't get me wrong. If there was Life-Ibuprofen, I'd give it to them, but we all know that medicine simply masks the pain. The growing and changing and stretching of soul and mind will inevitably come through. And on top of that, it's not my job. Only the Prince of Peace can give them what they need. Only the King of Glory can change them from glory to glory. Only the Counselor can give them the real life-changing truth.

So what is my job? What it's always been meant to be: I love them with my whole heart, bend over, kiss their face, then lift my arm and point... to Him.

I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old--what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. Psalm 78:2-4, 7

In Him,
Natalie


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How To Control Your Man

It's something we don't necessarily talk about much, but the truth of the matter is God has given women the ability to have some control over men.

Before smoke comes out your ears, or you’re already warming up your clapping hands, hear me out. Just look at what happened to Adam and Eve. According to Genesis 3, Adam was right there with Eve when she took the bite of the forbidden fruit.

What was it about Eve that caused Adam to blunder through the smoke screen and go with it? Did she say something to him? Did she flash that perfect smile? Why didn't he stop her? How did she manipulate the fresh, incarnate heartbeat of God to disobey his maker?

I'm not saying she was being vindictive or hateful. No, I'm just saying she was powerful over her man. She could influence him. And, I'm not saying that Adam was a push-over either. She just had a way with her man and it caused him to sin.

Ladies, God has put in us the power of influence. What we do with it can either build a man up in Christ or tear him down. I thank my husband all the time for taking care of us financially, spiritually, emotionally and many other ways. I began doing this even before he really stepped up to the plate in some of those areas. I spoke over him a vision for what I knew he could be, and he rose to it.

• I would thank him for working so hard at work.



• I would thank him for being attentive to the girls.



• I would thank him for hearing me out when I had a bad day.



• I tell him often that I think he is such a man.

Warrior talk, if you will. I asked him what are the ways I make him feel like I man. Here's his responses:

• "When you build me up in front of other people and I can hear you."



• "When you tell me you feel safe with me."



• "When you compliment the way I look, you know, like a stud!"



• "When you have my back with the girls even if you disagree with me."

All of these have the ring of respect. Men crave respect just as we crave love. Respect your man.

If you have a struggle with this, find something that you do respect him for and tell him so. He might be a hard worker. Maybe he can balance a budget like no man's business. Maybe he can make a small cottage out of a 2x4 and nails.

Whatever you can find to show respect, find it and say it. They live off of respect. Don't steal it from them. Speak it into their lives. If you can't, start praying for ways that you can. Start being deliberate about finding something you can thank him for, rather than nag him for.

Now, we all know that nagging never works. You might get what you want, but it won't be how you want it. He'll do it because he's sick of hearing you nag.

Take a note from the Bible.

Proverbs 27:15-16 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.

Are you someone prone to being quarrelsome? I know that this can come from not getting your needs met either. He doesn't meet your needs, you don't meet his, so he doesn't meet yours. Around and around it goes. But, we can be the one to decide to make a change. Stop the cycle. Be the one who speaks life into your husband.

Speak honor.

Speak respect.

You might just notice that your world is a lot more wonderful. Your words hold the power to drive your man into a cave or to raise your man into a Warrior. Speak wisely.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Prov. 16:24

In Him,
Natalie


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My Kayak is Pretty Beat Up

There are the big ones, you know? The ones that we can all point to and say, That one. That one right there made the difference in my life.

Imagine yourself in a kayak. Now, imagine that everyone who influences your life nudges your kayak in one direction or another.

For example, eight years ago I was floating down my Life River when I "bumped" Becky Tirabassi at her conference. I was floating down the Haphazard River of Meeting with Jesus when she floated up to me (and about 400 others) and said, "Make and appointment with the King and keep it." Then, off she floated.

That bump right there was a turning point in my River. I took a turn down a new River of Commitment and it changed my life forever.

She was a Slammer.

Kayakers like her have bumped my Kayak completely off course and set me straight more than once. Others would be Beth Moore, John Piper, and Andrew Murray. They are the ones that become anchors of lifechange moments. They are the ones that leave a mark on you Kayak of Life.

There are also the Bumpers.

These Kayakers are the ones that you have around you all the time. Friends that are consistent in what they pour into you. They are the ones that can point out that you're headed the wrong way and give you a "bump" reminding you of who you are. They also give you the bump you need for encouragement, laughter, or someone to cry with. They are with you through every kind of rapid in your life to the smooth waters of peace. One of my Bumpers is my husband. Others are close friends and family.

There are the Adjusters.

These are people we bump into that straighten our boat up a bit or add a new line of thought to who we are. Things like a passing comment on a blog, or a one-liner in a sermon on the radio. An underline in a book. It could be the passing conversation you have with someone about their marriage that makes you go home and make a small adjustment.

Slammers and Bumpers can be these kind of people too, but an Adjuster is something usually simple and makes you nod your head a bit. For instance, a friend of mine in passing said that she cooks for her husband, not her kids. Meaning, she cooks with him in mind. Not earth shattering. Not something that will send me into the throws of confession or worship, but something I can put in my Thought River and adjust to that. She bumped an adjustment in my life.

Oh, but there are the Rammers. Those people or circumstances that would ram us off course. When you have a Rammer in your life, you better be lookin' to your Slammers and Bumpers. They will help you hold fast against the Rammer. Don't fight with them. Don't throw your paddle at them. Just get close to those who uplift you and pray for you.

All of the above people have shaped my River's Ride. Looking back I see twists and turns through Level 5 rapids. I see long stretches of peace and serenity. I see forks in my River that have been avoided and I'm the better for it. I see tight spots that I barely squeezed through and wide open rides of laughter and joy.

Yes, my River is most certainly shaped by those I have been riding with. Of course, the Greatest Slammer is the One who created my River. There is no one else I'd take this ride for. He's the reason I keep paddling, fighting, surrendering, and living. He is the best joy ride on the planet.

Who's bumped your Kayak?

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all m prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel...
Philippians 1:3

In the River with you,

Join me at my homes!

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A Second Cup: October's Study

This month the Internet Cafe invites you to indulge in a Second Cup Bible Study with our hostess Natalie Witcher! If fall has you yearning for a Second Cup, we urge you to join us, as we savor the sip!

I am the vine; you are the branches. John 15:5

Easy for Him to say. How often do we take our place as the vine; trying to maintain our own energy? Trying to give ourselves a boost? Trying to grow all the fruit in our lives and still manage laundry, lunches, service, work, and pedicures? How often do we try to become the vine and use our superwoman arms to be superbranches?

It doesn't work very well.

Discover with me exactly what it means to be a branch over the course of 12 lessons starting October 6th.

Well take a walk around the Vineyard every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to get a good look at the Vine, run our hands down the branches, and discover Fruit that we could never produce on our own.

Just click The Vineyard below for your Second Cup!

I hope you'll join me!

Natalie @


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Tornadic Activty

I live in "Tornado Alley."

Oklahoma, to be exact, and we have had our share of tornadoes! Every year there's a new threat, a new storm that can roll in and do some damage. We all gather around the TV with popcorn and blankets and watch the bright red blob roll across the screen. Where will they turn up? Where are the little white spinning circles going to pop up on the map? Who will get hit? Who won't?

I'm no meteorologist, but I can tell you a little bit about tornadoes.

1. They are dangerous. Don't fool around with these dudes.
   
2. It has to be the right atmosphere for one to come down.
   
3. They can seemingly come out of nowhere.
   
4. However, the weather will always give us a sign of pending doom!
   
5. They vary in size and intensity.
   
6. They could be rain wrapped.
   
7. They are no respecter of persons.
   
8. They leave damage if they make it to the ground.

There's plenty more about tornadoes, but I'll let the experts tell y'all that!

That's what tornadoes do. They swoop down, wreak some havoc and get on their way leaving us with a clean up.

Hmm, not unlike my words sometimes.

If the atmosphere of my heart and mind is gearing up for an unpleasant day, there is likely to be some tornadic activity of my mouth.

If I'm not careful, not paying attention to the "signs of the sky," I can speak rashly or harshly. If I'm not aware of the conditions of my soul, my mind can let a tornado of a bad attitude swoop down, twist through my life and I'll be left there doing carnage clean up.

"Honey, I'm sorry I snapped at you. Please forgive me.

"Father, I'm sorry I had such envious thoughts. Please forgive me."

Either way, if it comes out of my mouth, or it's stays in my head, my tornado of uncontrolled thoughts and words leave a path of destruction.

My thoughts and words, if not under control of the Spirit, resemble that of a tornado.

1. They're dangerous.
   
2. The right atmosphere (ugly atmosphere) can bring out ugly in me.
   
3. Sometimes it seems to come out of nowhere. But, does it really?
   
4. I have a pretty good idea of when the atmosphere is giving me a heads up to my tornadic activity!
   
5. My "tornadoes" can vary in size and intensity.
   
6. When I struggle with difficult thoughts, sometimes they are wrapped in situations that are stormy. Still, my Jesus can calm both.
   
7. The tornadoes of life are no respecter of persons. Our enemy will try anything on anyone.
   
8. If I let them come on down and rule me, I damage things.

But, just like in real life tornadoes, we can know the signs of storms in ourselves. What are the things I can put in place to ensure I'll stay out of harms way when I'm tempted to let destruction rule me?

Three things:

• I make sure I let Jesus be my number one priority in my day.
• His Word is something I study intently to know the truth that can set me free from strongholds like a quick anger or impatient attitude.
• And finally, when "Mother" Nature decides that she would like to rule rather than The Father, I must humble myself to His control. And in His fashion He holds His hand up over me and calms the storm in my life.

You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you." Romans 8:9

I don't mind living in Tornado Alley, I just don't want it living in me! Through Jesus, it won't.

Thank you Jesus for setting me free from the things that can cause so much damage to myself and others. With you all things are possible!

What "tornadoes" swoop down in your life?

Join me at my "home."
Natalie @


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Wishing

Star light, star bright first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight… I wish it was the way it used to be.

Have there been times in your life you would love to go back to? Have you seen better days? Better financial times? Better marital years? Better looking years? Happier times? Ever thought, I just wish I could go back? I have. I’ve sat staring off in space, enjoying the moment of being alone in my own head, while the clock of reality ticked on.

I consider myself to be a young mother. I’m not so full of myself to think that just because I can do laundry in a single bound while cooking dinner and changing a diaper that I have life all figured out. Far from it.

I have three small children. Well, not tiny, but still small. My oldest is eight and the middle is seven. I do have one little one. She's 8 month old. The "big" girls are seventeen months apart and I have almost loved every minute of it. I say almost because I have been duped more than once by the enemy of all who follow Christ, Satan. He’s convinced me that what I have now is not what I really want. I’ve drank his poison of sweet deceit and been drunk on the lie that would tell me that if I could go back I’d be happier.

Don’t get me wrong I love my children and love being a wife, but I can remember days, when I had two babies in diapers, that I would long for “freedom” for what used to be. I used to be able to go and do whatever I wanted when ever I wanted with my daddy’s credit card. (Yes, I have a generous dad who took very good care of me.) I used to be skinner. I used to run around with my friends and live in the dorm. I'd whine in my head about being home with two babies, my husband gone all day and my life being defined by children, diapers, and housework.

Can I be honest with you? Sometimes, though rarely these days, I’ll find myself wishing for the days when they were babies!

But, why do we do this? Why do we wish for something we logically know we can never get back?

I believe there are a couple of reasons.

1. There is a draw to times when we felt really good, and since our reality may not produce the same feelings, we tend to look back to what did and wish for it. It’s funny how we block out all the bad that probably happened within those “perfect” years.

2. This is very important: we have a spiritual enemy who will do anything to get our eyes off of Christ. If one way to get us to not focus on the Now of Jesus is to get us to wish for what is long gone, then he will do it with a vengeance.

Feelings. Powerful, aren’t they? I can remember living on a small farm in Missouri when my first born came. We rented this house on one-hundred acres, twenty minutes from anything. There have been days when, after we moved to the city, that I’ve longed for that old farm. I know it is not what I want now and can’t really imagine going back. None the less, that old farm has a draw for me. But, if I think about it, what I long for are the moments I cherish the most. So why not just cherish them for what they are and then get on with living? Why did I allow myself to be disillusioned with my immediate reality based on a feeling a memory produces?

Paul said in Philippians 3:13 and 14,

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God as called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I’ve used this verse to help me overcome challenges concerning the bad things of my past, but not always for the good things. My draw to what used to be, if it calls me to abandon my reality, must be “forgotten.” Good or bad.

If we are staring off into our past, letting the spirit within us stare off to something we can never bring into reality, then we are missing our present.

In the season when I would literally wish for what used to have on a daily basis I would find myself more depressed than fulfilled. Why? Because th hand of reality would wave in front of my minds eyes, bringing me back, and nothing had changed when I escaped for a few moments. No matter how hard I thought about what I used to have, I still had two little girls in diapers who needed me. Never did my longing for my past cause me to neglect or despise my children, but it left me unfulfilled and restless.

Restless. That’s the word I want you to hear from me. Not depressed or angry about my life, I was just restless. I feel like I’m painting a poor picture of what I actually thought of motherhood. I loved it. Still do, but when I would let the enemy tell me I used to have better days, a restlessness would come up in me that I could not settle.

Maybe you have dealt with this restlessness.

Maybe you are right now.

Maybe your restlessness has turned into depression, anger, or resentment.

If you are a follower of Christ this is no way to live. I had to let God do some refining in my thought life. We had to get some things square. Through fixing my eyes on Him, He said that He is the author and perfecter of my faith (see Hebrews 12:2).

We cannot fix our eyes on what used to be. We must fix our eyes on Jesus who is our reality, our Now. Any longing on what used to be is but a distraction for what should be and what is. Even if what is is difficult, hard, or boring, it is still reality. We can choose to let Jesus fashion a fulfilled life with destiny, or we can choose to rest on memories of the past.

Isaiah 43:18 and 19 says,

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

To perceive this you must stop looking back and look to Jesus. You will find that he can bring life to your reality if it so needs it. He will take what is real in your life and bring glory to Himself. He is not a passive God. He is active and alive. His Word can come alive in you for this day. “Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

Is there anything you long for or wish for that too often takes you eyes off of your reality?

In Him,
Natalie @


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When Bonne Bell Doesn't Cut It

I've tried many different make-up doo-dads. From Mary Kay to Maybelline. From Bonne Bell to Arbonne. Usually, I find something in everything that I like. Right now I'm hooked on the Bare Minerals gig and I love it! But, I love Mary Kay mascara, Jane lipstick, Jane Bronzer and Arbonne wash. I'm a bit of an eclectic face keeper.

I jokingly say that I'm pretty Irish (which I am), but have a tiny amount of Cherokee blood. Not to mention I'm Scottish...and French. Needless to say, the European blood tends to outweigh the Cherokee by a buffalo! So, being Irish, I'm pretty fair with natural pink cheeks that look kinda like I've been slapped instead of kissed by a ray of sunshine. So, I like to find make-up that can blend my skin into one pretty palette and then I can say where the pink will go. Which brings me to Bare Minerals. Did I say I love them!

With a swish and a puff, I can cover my blemishes pretty darn good, (or is it well?) Anyway, I can look like a new woman in a matter of minutes. I thought about doing a before and after shot, but you see, I'm already dolled up for the day and I don't want to go re-do. So, maybe another time.

My make-up. Ahh, just the sound of it makes me smile. I've often thought if I ever landed on a deserted island, I would definitely need mascara and lipstick...and the bible...and food...and shoes…and a phone. But, seeing as how I'm not on an island, we'll keep it in real time on a real continent with no water around me, save for the puddle in my garden.

I need my make-up. I need to cover those things I find odd, dominant, and ugly. I need my forehead to actually sport eyebrows. I need mascara to make my eyes at least look like they are bigger than peas.

Anyone?

Make-up can cover a host of blemishes. Problem is they're still there at the end of the day when I take the make-up off. That's why it's called make. up. We make up our face to be something that it isn't naturally all by its onesie.

Sometimes my toiletry bag of life can be just inches from my mind. I have the amazing ability to go from nearly popping my kids heads clean off their darling shoulders to answering the phone in the voice of an angel. I just stuck my hand in my imaginary make-up bag and slapped on "I'm Perfect Powder"!!

"Girls! I said stop yelling at each other!"

"Girls! Please turn off your lights!"

"Girls! How many times do I have to say it? Hang your swim suits up for cryin' out loud!"

Riiiiing....

"Ahem, Hello? This is Mrs. Perfect. How can I make your day wonderful?"

What is that? Why do I do that? Why do I make-up some false front?

I know, I know, we want to look good and come off like we have it all together. We don't want to have Mrs. Grump answer the phone. No one likes her.

Sometimes I have a hard time in public. I'll throw on an "In control face" when I leave the house and struggle to keep it on when my Irish roots are banging at my door to "let me at 'em!"

Let me just say right here, I'm not an angry woman, I can just get a little touchy if I'm not fed regularly. You understand. Still, I was talking to God about those Irish roots and how my quick temper can get the best of me. It's my "blemish" on my good Godly woman/wife/mom face. I actually told Him that it's just my make-up, it's in my blood. There's nothing we can do about it.

The Lord said gently said to me, "May I remind you, I bought you with mine. You have my blood running through your veins now."

Ouch.

My "natural" blemished Irish face just got washed in the blood of the Lamb. He reminded me that who I am is now a person filled with the SUPERnatural Spirit who kills my natural self. As long as I let Him operate, it's His face I wear.

You...are controlled not by the sinful nature, but by the Spirit... Romans 8:9

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 6:11

With God, we don't have to pretend we're something we're not. We can go to Him with every blemish and wart and zit and He will give us new, SUPERnatural things. We can dump our toiletry bag of "Happy Face Zit Cream," and "I'm Fine! False Eye Lashes." Give Him the "I'm In Control Cover-up stick," and "Super Christian Lip Gloss."

Let Him replace all those weaknesses, all those insecurities, all those excuses with His Son and all His Son has to offer you!

For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son. Romans 8:29

I want to be the same person at home that I am when I'm at the grocery store, the library, church, or parties. I don't want to be one way with my kids at home and another way in public. I want to honor my husband at home they way I do in public. If I give out compliments to perfect strangers, I better be drowning my family in them.

I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Jesus will take every ugly blemish and every false cover-up I have and replace them with beauty and truth. Bonne Bell won't cut it when I need to have my soul made over. Only Jesus can come in and give me a real, life make-over. Now, that's one I'll take any day!

Let me leave you with one of my most favorite verses in the entire B-I-B-L-E:

Now, the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:17,18

• Are there any false faces you put on that need to be washed off by the Spirit of Jesus?

Now, where did I put my lipstick?


Natalie @


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On Wearing Bras...

Please Welcome Natalie Witcher from I am (not)

On Wearing Bras

My oldest daughter, “Boog” wants to wear a "bra." It's not a real one and it's not like she even needs one. She's 9 and only 9 and there is nothing that shows she is anything but 9. Doesn't sound like a big deal does it? But, my husband (whom I affectionately call in the Blogosphere, Pastor JT) sees it as such. At first I didn't really agree. I mean, what's the harm in wearing a little "bra?" No one can see it and it makes her feel kind of older. Aha, that's the problem. Well, that's part of the problem. In fact, it's not really the problem. wait...

My husband couldn't really figure out why it bothered him so much, he just knew that he didn't want her wearing one.

Modesty? No.

Too "grown up?" Kind of.

It wasn't until he was talking about it with my brother-in-law about the whole thing that it snapped into the real reason why.

Boog wants to be someone she isn't.

She isn't a girl with "girls" yet, but she wants to be one. She isn't a girl who can wear make-up, but she wants to be. She wants to be someone else. Not that she isn't happy being Boog, she just wants what other people have.

Be older.
Wear this or that.
Have what they have.

Is it not the ageless dilemma, dare I say bondage, that women struggle with even as adults? We think we'd be happier if we had a job, or if we stayed home with our kids. We'd sure feel better about ourselves if we had the house she does, or a husband like that. We would most certainly feel better if we had her body or her hair.

"If only I had_____________."
"If only I was_____________."

You fill in the blank.

I want to train her to live in the moment God has for her. It's not so much about her acting out being and feeling "older." It's about her living in the moment of her age, purpose, and calling. Even at 9.

Not that there is anything with dreaming and having goals. No, that's good and right. But, I don't want her dreaming about the latest look, fashion, or boy. So, if that means the bra goes in the trash and some tears are shed, then so be it.

What about at 34? How often have I wished I wore a different bra size, so to speak. Lived on someone else calendar? Had someone else's opportunities? How often have I fallen for wishing I lived on that other, greener grass?

How much effort do I put into my life to make it what I wish it was? Which of those wishes should I go after? Which ones need to come under God's authority? Which ones do I need to stop wishing for?

Needless to say, the bra is going in the trash simply because she got busted wearing it the other day when we went out. It was okay to wear it around the house, but since she lied and snuck it out of the house to go to a party with us, it's going in the big green bin. We will remove the very thing that pulls her to feel like someone she isn't and caused her to sin.

...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...Hebrews 12:1 NIV

Our value is in Jesus and what He has done for us. He has a calling on our lives and we will live it in confidence and with grace. We have to stop believing the enemy who whispers in our ear that we would be happy "if only..." Stop letting those "wishes" cause us to sin against God and lie to ourselves and other about who we really are.

Father, may we find all we need in You!

Is there a “bra” you need to get rid of?


In Him,

Natalie

www.stilettoarmy1.blogspot.com

Natalie Witcher

If waxy chocolate donuts were a food group, Natalie would be the first to make them part of every meal. But, since they aren’t, she’ll keep her head about her and “feast” on what truly is important—the Word of God.

This is the heartbeat of Natalie: the truth taught to others with love and sprinkled with laughter. This is no greater life than one walked with Christ and Natalie enjoys walking it with others.

She is a mom of three and a wife of one. She’s a friend, mentor, movie lover and is convinced that when ever a lazy thunderstorm rolls in that God ordered it just for her.

She graduated college with a music degree that served her for a time, but soon God revealed that the spiritual gifts He had given her were in writing and teaching. What a journey that has brought! She loves teaching the Word, not just in person, but through the great World Wide Web. It’s an honor and a joy for Natalie to use the gifts God has given her here at the Internet Café!

She’d love it if you’d visit her at her personal blogs: I AM (not) and Stiletto Army.


What others are saying about Natalie:

"Nat is real and HYSTERICAL....She pursues God with PASSION and her studies are amazing!"