True Growth

There are days when I look back upon the fervent, passionate spirituality of my youth and I wonder what has changed me so much since then. I don't remember feeling like such a sinner every day, all the time. I honestly wonder if I sinned less back then.




Could that be possible?





I tried so hard to follow God and I read my Bible regularly, as a matter of fact, more regularly than I do now. I memorized verses like crazy and I spent every spare moment in prayer meetings or Bible studies or at the very least hanging out with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I was pretty serious about this whole Christianity thing and I was sincere, but when I look back with longing, wondering if I'm moving forward or backward in my walk of faith, Jesus opens my eyes to see things a different way.


God, I wish I didn't struggle so much with sin.

Why do I keep screwing up?

I used to be a more spiritual person than I am now - I did everything You asked of me. I followed Your ways and I put Your first in my life. What happened? Am I growing in You, or just stagnating, or actually moving backwards? It just seems like instead of becoming more Christ-like, I'm becoming more of a sinner.

As a teenager, I was motivated to do what was right out of fear. I was afraid of getting caught and afraid of the disapproval of the adults in my life. I did whatever I could to avoid that feeling in my stomach that came whenever my behavior was less that acceptable. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was constantly seeking approval and everything I did was performance based.

I remember being pretty judgmental of those around me who didn't share my fear of authority as I lived out my version of perfect - at least on the outside. I knew that it was a sin to judge others, but I didn't count it as bad as some of the more visible, outward sins like drunkenness, promiscuity and the like.

My perfectionism has waned as I've grown up and realized that it's impossible to be perfect, so maybe it is true that I've allowed sins to slip into my life that weren't there before, but I think there's a bigger story here. I don't think it's my sinfulness that has increased over the years (OK, maybe I'll let God be the judge of that one though). I think it's my vision that has increased.

I'm looking for spiritual growth and I think it ought to look like me sinning less and me being more perfect. But what if that isn't what God is really looking for? Remember when Jesus told the crowds about who was really blessed in God's kingdom? I'll give you a hint: He didn't say "Blessed are the more perfect and the less sinful." He didn't applaud the pharisee whose prayer reminded everyone of how great he was. *

No, Jesus made it very clear that His kingdom is full of people who know they are broken, sinful and screwed up.

Well, maybe that's what true growth is, then. It's growing to see myself through His eyes and to know that I'm still messed up and I still need a savior. Growth is realizing how very broken I am and letting that knowledge draw me nearer to Christ.

*Of course God wants us to sin less, but I now realize how much I was trying to keep sin under control by my own strength instead of letting HIM be strong in my weakness. Now, I'm embracing this feeling of being a sinner who is incapable of self-improvement and leaning hard on HIM to change me. That's what it means to be a broken follower of Christ.

Emotions, Hormones And Sin!

Ever since my children were small I've noticed that it can be easy to make excuses for sinful behavior. When they are two we call it "the terrible two's". Many behaviors are excused because it is said that they "are normal for that age". When they turn 13 "their bodies are changing"! When they are 16 "it's hormonal" or "they are teenagers". When they are college age "they are just immature...it's 'normal' to act that way 'at their age"! What I find interesting is that it doesn't stop there. Women blame sinful behavior on hormones. When we're pregnant, "it's hormones". When we're in our 40's, "I'm perimenopausal". In our 50's, "It's menopause".


And so on...

With each age and season of life it can be a challenge to respond correctly. I've had my share of days when I haven't felt good or when I've felt "hormonal"! It is not easy. Thanks to some faithful women who have been living examples to me, I am also aware of the fact that regardless of how I FEEL, I am responsible for how I respond to life! I am responsible for every word that comes out of my mouth, for every response, and for every second that has been given to me.



I have a friend who regularly gets terrible migraine headaches. Although she will ask me to pray for her when she gets them, it is not normally prayer just for herself, but prayers that she will be able to serve those in her family or get accomplished what she needs to get done. I have never heard her complain and have observed her push through many things while suffering with a migraine. She has pushed through migraines (and menopause!) with self control and grace!

I have another friend who went through breast cancer, surgery and chemotherapy. Not too long ago her oldest daughter passed away at age 28. She never ceases to have a cheerful spirit. Whenever I talk with her one of the first things she says is, "Gina, God is good! He really is, Gina." The only explanation for both of these women's responses is that God is POURING OUT HIS GRACE that they might choose to glorify Him in their hard circumstances. He is also enabling them to be examples to those of us who are younger as we face our share of difficulty.

One author put it this way: "The problem is not that we have emotions--they are a gift from God. The problem is that our emotions (unlike God's) are tainted by the fall. The challenge is to let the Spirit of God sanctify us in the realm of our emotions so that they can be expressed in godly ways."

Brian and I have made it our goal to teach this to our children since they were very little. Although we are aware that there is a process of maturity going on with them (and we give them room for that) we also know we would not being doing them any favors if we made excuses for sinful behavior.

I am also aware of the responsibility I have to model this in front of my children. It would be hypocritical for me to tell them they need to respond well to difficulties and then melt down whenever I face a challenge! With the combination of health issues and hormonal ups and downs, this can been quite a challenge at times. That is when I need to be honest with my family and tell them how I am feeling. I tell them I am working very hard to control myself and that if I am more quiet than normal it is because I am working at responding correctly. In doing this I feel like my son is learning to be aware and sensitive, and preparing for the possibility of being a husband. My daughter is learning that she needs to be in control even when she has PMS! (Her husband will be very grateful!)

I understand that what happens in our bodies is very real and can affect us in many ways. I know women who have gone through very hard times both physically, hormonally, and emotionally. I have gone through it too! Yet we need to be careful that we do not buy into the lie from the enemy that we can justify sinful behavior because of these challenges.

Two year olds might throw fits, yell "NO!", and hit other children. They need to be taught that is sinful. Teenagers may become emotional or disrespectful. They need to be taught that is sinful and unacceptable. College age students may may feel like their parents have no right to tell them what to do, they may resist authority, or may act foolishly; however, they need to be told that rebellion is sinful, that they still need guidance, they need to press on to maturity and that they need to honor God. AND, women need to remember that it is sinful to allow how we feel to control us and our responses.

I find that I need to CHOOSE to practice this on a minute by minute...no...second by second basis! With the help of God I am determined to persevere in this. I don't want to make life miserable for my family. I don't want my children to remember me as a "basket case"! Teaching self control to my children is one of the greatest gifts I can give them. I pray that I would live that principle out before others. I pray that others might see God's goodness and grace, which helps us get through anything that He allows into our lives.

"Grace abounding strong and true,
That makes me long to be like You
That turns me from my selfish pride,
To love the cross on which You died...for me!
Grace unending all my days,
Will give me strength to run this race
And when my years on earth are through,
My praise will all belong to you."

This is the grace that is available to us in all circumstances! I am grateful!

I Thessalonians 5:23-24 "May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole SPIRIT, SOUL, AND BODY be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

(Gina has begun writing again after taking a few months off. She has some fresh, new perspective after going through some very dark times. She would love it if you stopped by for a chat and some coffee! You can find her at her personal blog: Chats With An Old Lady.)

No Room for a Snake in the House

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of
God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. Ephesians
6:10-11

Who put a rubber snake in here?



The ugly, scaly, black thing lying in the hallway was coiled with its head up just a bit. Even so, I kept a good distance as I leaned over to take a closer look. About that time, the rubber snake must have seen me because it slithered off towards the kitchen.

Thankfully, my two-year-old granddaughter, Katelyn, who hadn’t learned to fear anything, didn’t see the snake. If she had, she would have rushed past me and snatched it up. That could have been the end of Nana.




To be on the safe side, I grabbed Katelyn and picked her up. She started yelling and kicking for me to put her down. But I held on firmly as we dashed through the den and another hallway. Holding her tightly, I ran through the living room and out the front door. Crossing the front porch and side yard in record time, my feet barely touched the ground. I bound up the steps to my husband, Danny’s office and threw open the door. My abrupt entrance startled Danny.


I screamed. “There’s a snake in the house!”


He shrugged. “Well why didn’t you call me?”


“Because there was a snake between me and the phone.”


In a crisis Danny goes into his super calm mode, as if compensating for my fear. But I want him to jump up and throw on his Snake Catcher Cape. I want him to run and catch that snake.


Danny rose from his desk and walked down to the house. He searched upstairs, downstairs, and in the basement and then declared that he was certain the snake was no longer in the house. Danny said that the snake had gone back outside the same way it had come in.


Not being quite as sure of this as he was, I walked around looking at the floor for the remainder of the evening. After thoroughly searching the covers, I crawled into bed and prayed that we’d see that snake one more time. I prayed that we’d catch it so I could be certain that the snake wasn’t putting on his nightcap and turning in as well, somewhere else in the house.


A few days passed without another visit from the snake so I began to relax and agreed with Danny that the snake preferred to live outside. The following Saturday morning as Danny mowed the grass, I walked out to see him. When I reached the basement steps, something on the ground caught my eye. There it was. God answered my prayer. In His mercy, He even let us find the snake outside instead of inside the house. Catching Danny’s eye, I pointed very emphatically to the ground. Realizing immediately what I was pointing to, he turned off the lawn mover and threw on his Snake Catcher Cape. Danny came running and in one swift motion reached down and grabbed the snake behind its head. Danny put the snake in a box and gave it to a friend who actually likes black snakes.


Later as Danny and I took a good look at our 80-year-old house, we realized that we’d had a false sense of security. We found cracks and holes that a snake could easily slither through. Danny then spent a full day snake-proofing our home


This caused me to think how easy it is to have a false sense of security in other areas of our lives. We may see something potentially dangerous and think it’s not real. It won’t harm us. And then it slithers off. We may think that we have no cracks big enough for anything to slip through. We would never be tempted. We know right from wrong. We may even go to church. But something finds a hole just big enough to squeeze in. Sin can cause a lot of anxiety. It can wreak havoc in our lives if not caught and dealt with.


I think I’ll take a good look at my spiritual house. See if there are any areas that need spiritual caulking. Talking with God and reading His Word daily will help prevent cracks. Prevention really is best, in dealing with sin, and in keeping out snakes. And there really is no room for a snake in my house - physically or spiritually.

A Quick Wit and A Stiff Neck

God has gifted me with a quick, dry wit. Constantly, I hear catch phrases that ring in my mind and cause it to answer.

It’s a blessing and a curse.

If you could be inside my mind for one day, I guarantee you would either be greatly entertained or incredibly concerned.

Anyway, I’ll get to the point of why I’m mentioning it.

One new day, I woke up with excruciating pain in my neck. While issues with my neck are common, this day was worse than normal, as it wouldn’t even relent to the pain medicine.



Halfway through the morning, Wit spoke up: “What a pain in the neck!” I chuckled in my mind. Later in the day, she spoke up again: “You stiff-necked woman!” That one wasn’t quite as funny to me, of course, as it refers to the Israelites who continued to turn away from God.


As I awoke that next morning, the pain woke with me. I couldn’t even move my neck from side to side without a wince. I was thankful for Mrs. Wit’s humor to keep me amused along the way. What amazes me is that God often uses these little illustrations in life to strike me and remind me of Himself. After spending time in prayer, the Holy Spirit reminded me of some unconfessed sin in my life. I was quick to deal with it. Then He brought to my mind some areas of complacency and unbelief. I gave those over. Then a tucked away verse woke up my memory: “Do not be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” That sent me on a trail of trying to figure out what this means to a Christian, and more importantly, to me:

“See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. As has just been said: ‘Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.’” Hebrews 3:12-15

Time after time I’ve read this verse, but what the Lord showed me on that enlightened day is that it is possible as a mature believer to turn away from Him with sin or unbelief. Before, when I’ve envisioned “turning away from the living God,” I’ve thought of a BIG turning away, kind of like the prodigal son. I picture a monumental decision to leave the Christian life to seek my own pleasure. While that is certainly a possibility here, I don’t believe it is the only one. It says, “BUT encourage one another DAILY.” Wow---I can actually deal with a sinful, unbelieving heart on a daily basis?!?!? One of the things about sin is that it can sneak up on us.....it is deceitful. It wants to make us believe that we will be unaffected from the repercussions of a wishy-washy lifestyle, but read on: “We have come to share in Christ IF WE HOLD FIRMLY TILL THE END the confidence we had at first.”


We WANT to share in Christ, don’t we? Do we still have the confidence IN Him to live rightly BEFORE Him? Micah 6:8 says, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” To walk humbly requires a daily giving over of ourselves. If we’re not careful, sneaky sin can convince us that we don’t have time to do this or that it’s not necessary....we can become a “stiff-necked” people, if you will. So what is the answer for us? The answer is found in Psalm 95:2-8a:

“Let us come before Him with thanksgiving and extol Him with music and song. For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods; In His hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is His, for He made it, and His hands formed the dry land. COME—let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture, the flock under His care. TODAY, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts....”

Let’s stretch our necks out for Him today, noticing His creation on the left, His blessings on the right, and His provision right in front of us. As He shares this with us, may it renew in us the confidence to hold firmly Today all the way to the end.

Selah~ Pause. Ponder. Praise.
Please come by and visit my new personal blog,

LauraLeeShaw.com

The Ghost and the Darkness

The Ghost and the Darkness is a 1996 thriller film about the Tsavo man-eaters, two lions who attacked the builders of the Uganda-Mombasa Railway in 1898, killing about 35 of them, and the subsequent hunt to kill them.

These lions were so quick and ferocious that every attempt to kill them failed. The men dubbed the lions “the Ghost and the Darkness” because of their notorious methods of attack.

1 Peter 5:8 reminds us to;

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

This movie reminds me of how sin can swiftly crawl into our lives as believers and followers of Jesus Christ. Bitterness and resentment is like the Ghost and the Darkness in our lives.

Fourteen years and 22 kids later I was confronted head on with those two sins which almost destroyed our beautiful family. The lions from "The Ghost and the Darkness" when attacking the builders would come in from any angle at any time, without notice. Bitterness and resentment are equally the same way!

In ministry and helping families all these years we were not prepared to what happened in our own home recently. There was an explosion that caused all of us to examine our hearts before our Savior!

Why am I being so transparent?

Explosions happen in the best of families but what do we do with it is what is very important.

Reinforcement was needed and it came in from everywhere just like it came when the Ugandans could not kill the lions in the movie! My husband and I traveled for about 45 minutes to Barren River State Park where we began our journey of being honest with one another for the very first time!

We not only had to be honest about the bitterness and resentment that was ailing him for all those years but I had to admit my own fear of trusting him.

Sounds pretty messed up, huh?

That is what I love about our Savior, He is willing and ready to begin picking up broken pieces and gluing them together again if we obey and trust Him!

In the movie the Ghost and the Darkness the lions were killed but it took a very special strategy and it was after killing 35 of the men. Bitterness and resentment was in the process of doing the same thing in our lives. Killing us little by little and pretending that it was not there. Bandaging a wound really without healing it. Does it make sense?

Getting home and sharing our hearts we saw forgiveness and restoration begin to take place. Recognizing the Ghost and the Darkness played a major part of our healing. Recognizing it and laying it down also brought some junk out of our kids’ pasts that needed to be dumped! The picture of that day will never be erased from my memory.

Philippians 3:12-14 tells us “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Satan did not win his ferocious battle against our family! Something good has happened and that good came about because we serve a Great and Mighty God! I am asking each one of us to search out our lives to see if we keep bandaging our past hurts, holding grudges, unforgiveness, resentment, and bitterness. I will let you know it will show it’s ugly head when you least expect it just like in the movie when the Ghost and the Darkness would slide right around the corner!

Close and Personal

1. Do you think because you don’t talk about things that you have dealt with any past hurts?

2. Are you bandaging your pain?

3. The Ghost and the Darkness in your life, do you see it or do others?

My dear Heavenly Father I just want to tell you thank you all over again for loving us as you do. You have been such a longsuffering Savior and Friend! I pray for all my sisters that will read this today Lord that they will not allow any Ghosts and Darkness to enter into their lives but rather that they will recognize the enemy and be prepared as a good soldier in Your army! Lord, use me in whatever way You want me to used by You! I love You so much my Lord and my Savior!

Love Never Leaves

When I first became a parent, I had no idea I would learn so much about God from my children. I thought I would be there to guide them into His heart. Little did I know that it would be they, who guided, me.


As they have grown over the years, so have I. My husband and I started out with behavior modification parenting. It was common to hear those around us talk of “breaking the will of the child”. Breaking the will seemed to be an accomplishment that would bring obedience. We set out to make that happen. I shudder even now as I think about it.


The sad reality is, we believed God was the same way. That is until He summoned us to enter into true, authentic relationship. In that place love is the motivating factor, not behavior modification.


I discovered something. God wasn’t after my will. He was after my heart. Obedience wasn’t the most important thing to Him, love was.


It was in that place I began to learn something new. God will never be disappointed with me. His heart aches to hold me close. In sin I separate myself from Him. He exposes it in order to bring me back into His embrace.



For He knows that my perception of what He thinks of me changes when I am captured by sin.



There is never guilt, condemnation or accusation. There is only, always, love, mercy and grace. He reveals to return me to where I was meant to be. My sin is not His focus. I am. He didn't come to make me perfect. He came to give me life. Sin destroys life.


When I entered the world of motherhood, I thought I would bring my babies into the world and love them. It all sounded so simplistic. Yet, it wasn’t. There were times when a child would stray off the path and look in other directions. Choices that cost them were made. I ached as I watched. I prayed, I waited to welcome them back in. All I wanted was to love them. Didn’t they know that? They judged my heart by the way they felt about themselves.


He thought He would bring me into this world and love me. I have often taken wrong turns. I’ve gotten off the beaten path. I looked for love in all the wrong places. Yet, He doesn’t see me covered in my sin. He sees me in a robe of righteousness. He does not separate from me when I choose to return to sin. He is not angered or even disappointed with me. His response is always the same. He pursues me to come back home.


Like the Father in the story of the Prodigal Son, He runs to meet me when I return to be held. For just as I could never turn away from my children because of my unending love, He cannot turn from me. His heart is filled with a love that cannot be measured or challenged. It is from everlasting to everlasting, not based on conditions or behavior.


He knew I would be imperfect. He knew that the lures of this world would pull me in. For when He created the earth, He knew my sins, past, present and future. He couldn’t bear for me to separate myself from Him. He devised a plan. It was His plan of rescue.


The cross has been misunderstood. It’s not about sin. It’s about love. Jesus’ blood was spilled to annihilate that which separated us from entering in as sons and daughters. Because of love He paid the ransom note to bring us back into the embrace of God. He came to restore us to life, to the full. It was the life He always meant for us before sin entered into mankind. Love was the motivating factor of the cross. His love for you.


There has never been a time when I did not love my children. There is absolutely nothing that they could do that would change that. I see beyond the choices they make. I love.


There will never be condemnation or disappointment with God. There is always and only love. Love welcomes you back. With arms wide open, it runs out to meet you, to restore you to where you were meant to be, in the arms of God.



Sin is not His focus. You are.

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

Descriptive Grace

"I'm a sinner saved by grace." How many of you would agree? Go ahead, raise your hand, talk to your computer.

I raised my hand too. It's not uncommon to nod our head in agreement, shake our heads at our failings, and then raise our heads to thank God for His grace. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It's good. It's humbling. Keeps it real. However, does anything strike you odd or out of the ordinary about that statement?

I began to look at it and I even asked God, "Do you prefer to hear 'I'm a sinner saved by grace,' or 'I'm a Child of God'? I think he just let me mull over it awhile. I came to a conclusion.

If I say and think "I'm a sinner saved by grace," then my definition of myself is "sinner." Yep, that's me. That may be true, but is that to be my identity to myself, even to others, or to God?

I believe that to continually put "sinner" on my I.D. card concerning who I am says more about what I think about myself than what I think about God.

Not that I can't recognize that I sin, but Sinner cannot, must not, be my proper name. I say this because the Bible calls the sin nature the "old man" or that which is dead in us. We were crucified with Christ, not that we live but that Christ lives in us. (Galatians 2:20) And if Christ lives in us now, how then can we make our main I.D. "sinner"? That is dead in us, it doesn't rule us and Christ went to hell and back to make sure we didn't let it define us.

If sin is so dominant, but forgiveness can trump it, the power of the Holy Spirit can overcome it, the cross shamed it, and God seated Christ at his right hand over every authority, then why give it such prominence in our description of who we are? Don't we all know we are sinners? Then why keep telling each other this?

Why not say, "I am forgiven - saved by grace."? Why ever call myself by such a name He came and died to set me free from? Jesus never referred to us as sinners saved by grace. He said sinners needed him. He said it is by grace through faith we are saved.

Ephesians 2:8 says "For it is by grace you have been saved..." and is followed up directly with "For you are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus.." not, "You are now a sinner saved by grace created in Christ Jesus..." Even in the very passage we get our phrase "sinner saved by grace," our God doesn't even say it! He calls us his workmanship. He gives us new hearts, minds, titles, positions and proper names.

Why not say, "I'm Natalie, a Child of God, forgiven, saved by grace, and oh yeah, I can struggle with such-n-such if you really want to know."

What if a dear Follower of Christ who was an alcoholic said, "I'm so-n-so, saved by Jesus who is breaking the bondage of alcoholism in me." Wouldn't that inspire more strength, more fortitude, more hope than introducing yourself as that which holds you so tightly?

And why do we only do that to those who struggle with alcoholism? Why not all of us? "I'm so-n-so. I'm a soap opera addict." I'm so-n-so I'm afraid of rejection." "...I'm plagued by bitterness." Why the proper names of addiction, sin, fear, worry?

I only wonder what would happen to us if we changed the way we define ourselves, whether we say it our loud or not. I believe those addictions are real and true, but what if we moved the statement around and stuck the truth of who we are in Christ first?

Would it disarm much?
Would we think differently?
Would we gain a greater respect for ourselves and a higher regard for the power of Christ in us?

I think I'll try this one for awhile:

"I'm a child of God, saved by grace, seated at the right hand of God, anointed by the Spirit, ready for the fight, and created to do what he called me to do when he set me free from the power of sin!"



Yeah, I like that one better. How about you?

In Him, Natalie

Join Natalie at her personal blog:

and her Bible Study blog:

Meet Petey

We had nothing to do yesterday so, as all married couples do, we headed to Target. We needed a light bulb, a calendar, Eric needed a Caramel Macchiato – clearly Target was the place to go.

We walked around looking at random things. I gawked happily at the after Christmas clearance on sweaters and shoes and accessories, oh my! I’m telling you there is nothing like a Mossimo markdown.

Can I get an amen?

As we made our way to the checkout area we found ourselves walking behind a little boy named Petey. I know his name well because his mom kept yelling it at him.

“Petey! Petey! PEE-TEY!”

She was less than thrilled with his behavior.

I can completely understand that because he was knocking things over as he walked by each shelf.

I have to admit Eric and I thought it was more than funny. What his mom didn’t see (because she was walking ahead of the little guy) was that he weighed the severity of each item he knocked down.

Plastic container filled with potpourri? Knock it down.

Birthday decorations? Knock ‘em down.

Valentine’s Day wreath? Sure, knock it over.

Hallmark Cards? Who needs them? KNOCK.

Glass candle? Um…Pass.

Glass picture frame? Better not. Next.

Table decoration that looks breakable? Moving on.

Little Petey knew full well some knockdowns you just don’t rebound from. I watched his mind reason away the plastic knockdowns as okay because nothing was going to break.

But he would have no part in shattering an entire candle collection.

I thought about Petey all night.

I saw us in him.

I thought about a friend of mine who openly will tell you he believes there are different levels of sin.

“Some sin just doesn’t really count,” he’d say to you.

He’s a great guy albeit misguided.

But you know, I think we do the same thing. We just aren’t as open about it. We don’t want to admit that we think affair trumps gossip every time.

We weigh our behavior, quickly filing it into “plastic” or “glass” when really sin is sin.

We can knock over all the plastic things we want thinking the effects aren’t as far reaching as glass shattering but over time we’re left with nothing but a mess.

And a Father calling us by name, breathing His Spirit into our hearts, urging conviction and asking for repentance.

Psalm 19:13

“Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh! Keep me from stupid sins, from thinking I can take over your work; Then I can start this day sun-washed, scrubbed clean of the grime of sin. These are the words in my mouth; these are what I chew on and pray. Accept them when I place them on the morning altar, O God, my Altar-Rock, God, Priest-of-My-Altar.”

Kristen writes daily at {dancing} in the margins and also at Exemplify Online. She welcomes you to stop by!

Repeat Offenders

The Internet Cafe WELCOMES Rhonda Roberts today!!

I’m sitting in my rocking chair with a cup of coffee, eyes closed, silently reciting a scripture I can’t seem to get right. The baby is napping, the kids are outside playing. I have a few minutes of peace before we have to finish school for the day and then start supper. It has been a long day and I need this respite to get through the rest of my afternoon. So, I’m rocking, listening to the kids playing.

Resting in His peace.

Ah, yes. His Perfect Peace.

Oh, and doesn’t that afternoon cup go down smoothly?? Yes, it’s a glorious day, and I am a content woman.

Riiiingg!!!!!

Uh-uh. Keep rocking, don’t get up.

RRRIIIINNGGGGGG!!!!!

Nope. Whatever it is, it can wait. Not getting up.

RRRIINNNGG!!!! RRRRIIIINNNGG!!!

Could be my husband. Maybe I should get up and check the caller ID. Nah… Keep rocking. Eyes still closed. What was that scripture verse???

RIIINNGGG!!!!

No more rocking. The verse is gone. I know who it is calling me. I know it’s her. The peace wrecker. The constant complainer. The master manipulater and evil destroyer of my coffee break!!!! I will NOT get up.

I listen, not moving.

Silence. Beautiful silence. Thank you Lord! Thank you for this time. Forgive me, Father. Goodness, I sure got worked up over a silly phone call. How petty! It probably wasn’t even her. I’m sorry, Lord. I really need to be more gracious.

RING!!!! RIINNNNNNGGGG!!!!

Really, are you serious? She’s calling back? Well, wait a minute. Maybe it’s not her. I get up to check the caller ID. Maybe it’s someone I want to talk to.

RRRIIINNGGGGG!!!!

Or, maybe it’s an emergency! It must be. After all, why else would the phone be ringing 20 times before the caller hangs up? I look at the caller ID window. My teeth clench, my back stiffens..SIGH!!!! I knew it. I just KNEW it was her. I’m soooooo not answering the phone! I go back to my rocking chair, phone screaming at me over my shoulder. I plop down, hard, on my rocker and rock. Not quite as gently as before, but I’m still rocking. And my eyes are, again,closed. Tight. No light getting in. If I close them tight enough maybe I can block out sound too.

Ever been there? Maybe it’s a relative, a church member or coworker. It’s someone in your life that 9 days out of 10, drives you crazy. And you have lots other people in your life that will back you up on whatever resentment you hold in your heart against this person. They truly are difficult. What to do? I checked my bible to get my answer.

Here is what I came up with:

Mat 6:14 For if you forgive people their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Uh-uh. Surely not, Lord. I have to deal with this person on a daily basis. I’m tired of being lied too, and manipulated and talked about over and over and OVER! Can’t we do something about these repeat offenders? I read on:

Matthew 18:21+22 “Then Peter came up and asked him, "Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I have to forgive him? Seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy times seven!”

That’s A LOT of forgiving. But that’s what we’re called to do. Forgive them. Love them. Let’s be honest, if they are really as annoying as you think, they probably have very few friends. Be one. Not out of pity, because pity leaves as soon as you’re offended. Love them and forgive them because it’s the right thing to do.

The phone is still ringing. I pray, “Do I have to answer it?”

“No. Do you have to be resentful that it’s ringing?”

Sigh. No. I guess not. No, of course I don’t. I’m sorry, Lord. Will you please forgive me? Again?

“Seventy times seven, Beloved.”

Rhonda and her husband live in rural Mississippi with their 5 young children. She grew up in New England and headed south shortly after becoming a Christian in 1992. She has a bachelor's degree in social work and counseling and is a homeschool mom and Sunday school teacher. You'll find Robin enjoying reading, gardening, and drinking coffee and she confesses, watching "nerdy" documentaries.

Join Rhonda at her personal blogspot:

www.rhondajeanne.blogspot.com

No Condemnation

I cleaned up the kitchen mess, kissed the kids goodnight and headed off to church to meet with other church leaders for our quarterly meeting. I got out my pen to take notes and realized I hadn't brought my Bible. I chided myself inwardly, thinking, "What kind of spiritual leader can I be?" I hadn't read the Bible much that week and I felt a nagging guilty feeling for not doing more of my ministry responsibilities either.

The pastor began to speak about the traits that make a resilient leader and the sense of failure and condemnation began to grow and burn in my chest. You know, that hollow feeling you get when you realize you don't measure up? The emptiness that reminds you that you're still a great sinner and that you are not the holy person you want to be?

"Everyone must notice this sin (critical spirit, gossip, lying, you name it...)in me... God must be so disappointed in me....I'm such a terrible Christian " and on and on went my thoughts.

As I sorted through my feelings later that night, I turned to God's Word for truth.

Romans 12:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

How is it, then, that I get so caught up in these emotions of condemnation?

And how do I know if God is convicting me of sin of which I need to repent or whether it's something that just false condemnation? How do I know the difference?

As I searched the Scriptures and received the counsel of godly men, I came to understand a few ways to distinguish between the condemnation of Satan and the conviction of God.

God's conviction is always very precise. He doesn't convict me of being a "bad" person, but He convicts me of specific sins. The enemy, who is called our accuser, only deals in generalities. Satan points his finger at me and calls me names but he doesn't cut deep to the real sin issues in my heart. Only God does that.

As I sorted through my thoughts after that meeting, I realized that some of what I heard was God's conviction, His gentle, kind hand of correction upon my heart. It caused me to repent, to seek Him for change in my life. But some of the other feelings I had that night were clearly not from God. The general sense of failure and hopelessness as a sinner was not from God, but from the enemy.

There is a great sense of peace in knowing that in Christ, there is no longer any condemnation for my sin. There is only forgiveness, grace and the hope of healing.
Action Points:

1. Have you been weighed down by a feeling of condemnation? What Scriptures can you cling to this week as assurances of hope and forgiveness?

2. Test your feelings of condemnation against the truth of Romans 8:1. Memorize this verse to stand up against the lies and accusations of Satan in your life.


Come visit me...

New every morning

My son Ingram is 18 months old. Each morning he wakes up and cries out for his momma. I enter his room see him standing in his crib, swaying back and forth. He's so cute. He's just so stinking cute. No matter how cranky or tired I may be, as soon as I see his face, I break into a huge smile.

Ingram has bad allergies, so usually in the mornings his little smiling face is just caked in snot. Under his nose, and then wiped all over his face. There's often even some dried snot in his ears and hair. And his diaper is always full so the first thing that greets me, before I see his crusty face, is one of two stenches - or both. On a good day I catch a whiff of it as I walk up the stairs. And he usually chews on his crib rail while he waits so I also get slimed by drool.

He's a mess.

And oh, do I love that boy. My heart dances at the sight of his nasty little self. Covered in uck, I sing good morning to him, kiss him, and take him downstairs to begin our day.

Do I love this baby more when he is fresh from a bath and covered in lavender lotion? No. I love him, dirty or clean, because he is mine. He is my child and I would give my life for him.

Do you realize that your Heavenly Father sees you this same way?

For years, I was crippled by what I termed a Janet Jackson view of God, based on her hit song of years ago. I thought that God looked down on me and thought, "What have you done for me lately?" (Ooo, ooo, ooo, yeah.) And I always felt he looked down and said "tsk, tsk", disappointed because on any given day I had led zero bible studies, and fed zero homeless people, and hadn't even cracked open my bible.

And I had some sin. Lots of sin that haunted me. I felt like I was covered in snot, and poop, and drool - just covered. I was a mess.

I knew God loved me, he officially had to, the Bible tells me so, yeah yeah. But how could God possibly really love me, unconditionally, me being so stinky and sticky and such a flop at being a "good Christian"??

God impressed upon my heart - through a mentor - that God actually loves me. Really, really loves me. He delights in me.

Because it's not about me.

When the creator of Heaven and Earth sees me, I am not covered in snot. I am drenched, soaking, dripping wet in the blood of the Lamb. Because of the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, and because I have believed in my heart and confessed with my mouth that he is Lord, all God sees when he looks at me is a holy shade of the purest white.

Have you also believed that he is Lord? Then when he sees you, he sees the face of his perfect Son! God is not judging us with a naughty or nice list. His list always reads nice. More than nice: perfect and unblemished. The bible tells me so.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1

How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!
Hebrews 9:14

That's what it means to be washed in the blood of the lamb.

What a relief, y'all! It isn't dependent upon you! It's dependent on Christ, who is totally reliable to complete the work he began in you!

If you forget to pray or do or don't do quiet time or yell at your kids or gripe at your husband or are otherwise not the perfect Christian, his love is not diminished. Even if you are carrying around some "big" sin, God does not turn his face from you. No matter what you do or have done, he still sees you the same way that I see Ingram each morning: precious, perfect, and melting my heart with his beauty. The Lord of the Universe sees you with that same pure love and joy every. single. morning.

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed,
because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

Every morning, I walk into Ingram's room and he laughs, claps, then reaches out his hands to me. I never fail to lift him up, embrace him, kiss his fuzzy head and tell him I love him.

When the Lord sees you each morning, he says, "That's my baby. She is mine. I gave my life for her!"

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name: you are Mine.
Isaiah 43:1b

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1a

Rejoice! Clap your snotty hands! Reach out and allow him to gather you into his loving arms!

Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.
How awesome is the LORD Most High, the great King over all the earth!
Psalm 47:1-2

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:8

Let him clean you up

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Psalm 51:7

Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Mark 1:41

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith,
having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience
and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10:22

and feed you breakfast

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
Psalm 63:5

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.
John 6:35

because he loves you.
About a million times more than I love sweet Ingram.

the LORD delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.
Psalm 147:11

How could believing this change the way you live your life?

Visit Missy at her blog,

Belly-Button Hindrances

I have a good friend that is totally "hip". Really "with-it". All the things I am not.

Well, I have hips...substantial ones. And my "with-it"...sounds more like something I'd say after I had been to the dentist and returned with my mouth numb...

I asked her permission to share this story with you. When it happened...hmmm, let's just say---the LORD spoke to me through it.

Lisa was having trouble with her back. Her neck. Her shoulder. This was tough---especially since she is a faithful gym-goer. She had been having trouble with "strength" ---lifting the weights. So she made an appointment to see her Chiropractor.

As he began to examine her, and question her, he maneuvered her for a response to her reflexes, testing her resistance, and he noticed the weakness on one side. "Lisa", he said with a questioning tone, "do you have a belly-button ring?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do". She replied--she was, after all very "hip and with-it", and loved her belly-button ring.

"Do you mind taking it out?" Dr. Carnes needed to prove what he felt was the problem.

After she removed the metal, he began his testing all over. This time, her body reacted differently to each maneuver. She had strength. It was almost like you had removed the cryptonite from Superman's space and his strength returned.

With a puzzled expression, she wanted to know why it made a difference. His explanation made perfect sense. The metal, or foreign object was interrupting the energy flow of her body. Something was blocking her physical strength. But once the hindrance was removed...strength returned.

Do you see what I saw? The instant parallel of our strength in Christ vs. the hindrances of the world came racing to my mind.

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is." Romans 12:2 NLT

To her, and many others, the belly-button ring was attractive. A symbol. But to her body, it was a hindrance. Might not have been noticed before. May not have even "felt" the resistance before. But at this time in her life...the change of the energy flow was noticed. She is only a few years younger than I am, but in excellent physical condition. I on the other hand, well, if you know me...you know. I am a bookoholic instead of a gymoholic. It shows.

After she told me this, I immediately told her, "you know this will have to be a blog". I smiled, already hearing the Lord speaking to my heart. Because He knows me. He knows the things I have been neglecting so long they are now "hindrances" in my walk.

"Examine your life Angie. What is blocking your "energy flow". Are you full of My strength? You know from your past experience what happens when you try to conform to the world. In order to fit in you allow things to come between what I desire for you."

Well, you could have knocked me out of my rolling chair with a feather! In my past I know there have been many times that I wanted to be a part of the world that seemed to be fun---so much so, that my decisions were warped. Poor decisions made an impact in my life that was NOT pleasant. But I was thinking...surely not now. Why, surely I am right on track...But after thinking this over....I can find things that need to be removed from my heart and life to increase my energy flow.

I took a phone survey and even polled some random ladies with a simple question: What are some things that we allow to hinder our relationship with Christ:

• TV (too much of it, and the type of programming---we are what we feed our minds);
• Busyness and/or obsessive housework (as in the Martha Syndrome);
• Excessive secular reading (neglecting the Bible);
• Unforgiveness (self-explanatory);
• Anger (self-explanatory);
• Greed (desirous of worldly things); and
• Envy (wanting what everyone else has). Another late entry of the survey came in after I came home from work. It seemed the opposite of one, but when she explained, I instantly saw how it could quickly become a hindrance. Having a clutter filled house and life.

The first one listed was mentioned by more than one person. It deserved top ranking. The next ones listed fell as suggested by those I polled. They all fall in the category of being a "belly-button ring". So-to-speak. A strength zapper. If not attended, I think it could even cripple.

I have embarked on an "examination" of my life. I am on the table. The Lord is probing my heart and life for the unnecessary. I don't have any piercings other than my ears, but there are MANY things that need to be dealt with in my life. Things that left unattended in my life will drain every ounce of spiritual strength I have. Whatever it is, I can say with certainty, it has lost it's attractiveness---due to the consequences it is causing in my life. Time to remove my belly-button ring hindrances.

Father in heaven, reveal to me--to each one of us--the hindrances in our lives. I need to know. I want to see it for what it is and deal with it once and for all. Forgive me for waiting so long. Some of the issues may have been here so long they are deeply embedded. Remove them from my life. Pour in the peroxide to boil out the wound. I ask with all sincerity of heart that the anointing of the Holy Spirit flow through my life as a river that I never before experienced! Help us to reach new heights in serving You. I am Yours. Wholly and completely. In the awesome name of Jesus I pray. Believing in You~Amen.
Your turn.

• Are you as close as you can be to Jesus?
• Think about what might be hindering your walk with Christ. Resolve to take control of it and remove it from your life.
• Make a list of hindrances. Share them with others. Shine the spotlight on the issues so that they are exposed. Exposure can bring about closure.
  

I'd love your visit at Knightly News!

Heart Based Discipline

I have a three year old daughter who is sometimes a challenge. She is bright, beautiful and sweet. She is also obstinate, strong-willed, too verbal for her own good, and prone to drama.

In regards to the latter, that also means that she is....um...er...just like me.

Over the past two years I have read every book on discipline I can get my hands on and spent many hours in prayer, trying to figure out what works with this child. I am delighted to announce that I seem to have (finally) found a method I feel good about: heart-based discipline.

Heart-based discipline focuses on changing the heart of the child as opposed to simply the behavior. Most of us were raised using classic behavior modification techniques, which in my case, meant as soon as no one was watching or as soon as I ran a favorable risk analysis, I frequently made the bad choice. But I want my children's hearts to be made more holy, not just their actions. I want their behavior choices to be based on biblical truths and a desire to please God, instead of a reward/punishment mentality or a desire to please mom and dad.

There are many books that tell you exactly how to implement this and several now sit on my nightstand. I still have much to learn, but I have applied some of the advice already. And here's the glory glory hallelujah - it's working. I have seen more changes in my daughter's behavior, and in her heart, in the past month than ever before.

So. Tonight. My husband is working late and I have been home all day with my four tired, cranky pre-schoolers. I am giving them a much needed bath. My oldest has been told four times to quit splashing. He splashes soap in the eyes of his two year old sister and she begins to cry. Do I:
a) look into his eyes calmly, discuss the sin of disobedience, quote some Colossians, lead him to repentance, and finish with a prayer, or do I
b) scream "I SAID STOP!!!!!" as loudly as I can?

If you chose letter B you get a sticker.

I apologize, he forgives me. I apologize again. He forgives me again, and tells me I hurt his ears. Ten seconds later my three year old clone is irritated by her sister and screams at her as loudly as her little voice can. Hmm, wonder where she learned that behavior. Sheepishly, I tell her not to yell.

Later, I ponder the Bathtub Incident. You see, this isn't the first time I have blown my top and yelled at my children. I've been trying to stop doing this for a while. I have been trying to modify my behavior, and I have made some improvement, no doubt. Until my husband works late and I am tired and I am hormonal and and and...

Suddenly That Voice whispers inside my head, Sounds like you need a little heart-based discipline.

Conviction, meet Hypocrite.
Oh, we've met before. Many times!

So here I go with a little Grownup Version of Heart Based Discipline.

Step one: Identify the sin.
Anger is not a sin. Yelling at a four year old is.
What is at the root of my sin?
-Pride.
-Dishonor.
-Impatience.
-Unkindness.
-Rudeness.
-Being easily angered.

What does the bible say regarding my actions?

1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Proverbs 29:11: A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

How could I have handled the situation better?

Proverbs 12:18: Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 16:21: Pleasant words promote instruction.

Repentance:

Psalm 51:10: Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Dear Lord, please forgive me for taking my frustration out on my precious children. Please change my heart so that my temper is kept in check and my words are kind.

And now, the best part, encouragement:

Hebrews 4:16: Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Philippians 4:6-7: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

• Are there any behaviors for which you seem to be on the "repent and repeat" track?
• Can you identify the specific sin behind the behavior? (Sometimes a mature friend in Christ can help you narrow it down.)
• Find some bible verses that apply to your sin (googling works great!)
• Repent and ask God's forgiveness, remembering that he will forgive and purify those who earnestly seek his grace (1 John 1:9)
  
• Apply the verses to your life, and pray them for yourself.
  
• Wait with me for the Lord to change our hearts and our lives!