The Search For Significance

"I'm fat,"

"I'm ugly,"

"I'm too old,"

"I'm too young,"

"I can't compare to her,"

"Why would he marry someone like me?"

"I'm a bad mother,"

"I'll never be good enough"...Shall I go on?

How many of us hear these words echo in our heads on any given day? Multiple times per day? Every moment?

I know this negative self talk is something I struggle with, thankfully, not as much as I used to. These are lies that we tell ourselves. Sadly, some of these lies have been instilled from the time we are very young.

For many women, we grow up thinking that our worth comes from how thin we are, how shiny our hair is, what parties we get invited to or how good our grades are. Later, as adults, we think (or are told) our worth comes from how well our children do in school, how clean our houses are, how much money is in our bank accounts or what brand purse we carry or what car we drive.

We strive to outdo our neighbors. Unfortunately, this behavior isn't limited to non-Christian women. How many of you strive to bring the best dish to the church's potluck, or sell the most cookies at the youth-group bake sale? How many of us triple check our children before leaving for church, making sure they look "just right"...and who among us clean our homes above and beyond our typical routine when we know the pastor's wife is coming over, or the ladies from church? (I know my husband gets excited when the ladies from our church come over because I go crazy with cleaning and the house becomes spotless and smells of fresh bread and cookies!) And don't get me started on how we really over do it at the holidays only to weep silently in the bathroom out of exhaustion - or because the turkey was dry?

Why do we do this to ourselves!?


Why is it that we constantly feel the need for reassurance that we are good enough?

Why do we feel that value needs to come from some outside source - mirrors, friends, family, children...etc. I struggled for so many years with the search for significance; looking to everyone and everything for validation of who I was - searching for someone or something to "define" me, to give me worth, to say, "Yes! You are needed! Yes! You have worth! Yes you are loved!"

Every path I walked down in search for answers lead to some form of destruction - alcoholism, depression, illness followed me as I wandered farther and father down the path which could have lead to what often stems from such an ego-centric journey...that is, self-destruction.


That was until I found the answer to my never-ending quest for significance - I learned that I was a child of God! I learned that I was made for a purpose - His purpose. I learned that I was loved - SO loved, in fact, that God Himself gave up His only Son so tht I might be forgiven for my sins (John 3:16). I learned that I didn't need to be "good enough" on my own merit - that I was already good enough because I am His daughter! (Ephesians 1:14) I learned that it didn't matter that I had done things that were so incredibly sinful because through Christ's selfless act of love, His death, His sacrifice, I was made new and that my sins were erased - a clean slate! (II Corinthians 5:17) By coming to faith in Jesus Christ, I was given a purpose - to be a servant, to do whatever it is that God Himself wants me to do - What greater purpose is there than that!

"The Bible tells us that, 'while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us' (Romans 5:8). In fact, we 'were dead in trespasses and sins' (Ephesians 2:1). What worth is there in dead things? None. God imputed to us His own righteousness (II Corinthians 5:21) not because we were worth of it, but because we were unworthy, unlovable, and unable to make ourselves worthy in any way. But - and here's the miracle - He actually loved us in spite of our condition (John 3:16), and because He did, we now have infinite worth."

How awesome it is, and what a relief, to know that we do not have to be good enough on our own merrit!

Whew!

I, for one, am happy to know that my worth isn't determined by my husbands ironed (or not!) work shirts, or the dust bunnies on top of my ceiling fan, or the extra weight I need to lose or even my college degrees.


Instead, my worth comes from knowing that I am a child of God - chosen before the world began as His daughter, made worthy by His death on the cross - justified by faith, made whole by His love!


It is my prayer that while your children are running around the grocery store, or when your bread burns, or after the scale gives you news you don't want to see or during times when you feel less than lovable, that you remember that you are a child of God, made in His image (Genesis 1:25-27), fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:13-16).


Hold your head up high, woman of God!


Look each day in the face and say, "Today I will walk each step with confidence knowing that I have worth and that I have a purpose; to use the gifts God has given me to serve the best purpose there is, His purpose. I will keep my ears open to His voice, my eyes open for opportunities to serve and my heart open to love others, and be loved in return. My value is given to me through my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ - and no other." How awesome to know that our search for significance ended the moment we said, "Yes" to Christ! Now go out and celebrate who you are in Christ! Give praise to Him who delivered you from what could have been a never-ending and pain filled empty journey of self-hatred. Praise to the truth - the truth that set you free!

Learning to Love Myself

I stood in front of the mirror and smiled.

It was the first time in my life this had ever happened.

I turned to the left and then to the right. I even did a 360 degree turn just to see the whole picture for myself.

I smiled.

I couldn’t believe it.

For the first time in my life I was wearing “skinny girl” clothes. And, boy was I proud!

I paraded myself in front of that mirror. Walking closer and then backing up in order to get a glimpse from different angles.

I smiled some more.

Yes … I smiled on the outside, but on the inside my heart was full of uncertainties- would this be enough? Would he like me now? Will he ever truly love me?

Yes … My outside was lookin’ pretty darn good, but my heart was twisted in knots.

My thoughts going into this whole “diet” thing were that if I just shed a few pounds everything would be all better. He would like me. Maybe even love me. And, I would like myself too.

He had said it to me on more than one occasion, “You have a beautiful face, but you really could stand to lose a few pounds. Really, it would make you look a whole lot better.”

I took his words to heart, the guy who I thought hung the moon, and began doing all I could to lose those “few” pounds that I thought would make him like me more.

I dieted. I ran like crazy. I took diet pills. I went days without eating. I lost weight. Over 60 lbs. to be exact. People oohed and aahed. I bought clothes in sizes I never dreamed I could wear. I was proud. But, he wasn’t.

I’ll never forget that day. He stood in front of me after greeting less of me with a hug and said, “Wow, you sure have lost a lot of weight. You look like you’re sick.”

I stared at him, absolutely dumbfounded. “Sick!?! SICK!?! I did all of this for you. You said I needed to lose weight. You said I would look better if I lost a few pounds. And now that I have, you think I look SICK?” I said in response, tears streaming down my face almost unable to breathe.

I turned around and ran back to my dorm room. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. I had done what he wanted and once again, it wasn’t enough. I cried myself to sleep that night and many nights after. I don’t think I will ever forget the conversation I had with this guy whom I believed would make all my dreams come true. He wounded me. And, it was a DEEP wound.

Years have come and gone. Yes, the scar is still there, but the wound from that day has been long healed. I have been healed by Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. He took my broken, battered heart and put it back together one piece at a time.

“For I am the LORD who heals you.” Exodus 15:26a, NKJV

Not only has God healed my heart but He’s also taught me that I’m not defined by what others think I should look like. My self worth is not based on their opinions. Who I am, who He created me to be, is what’s important.

I’ve learned that in Him I am loved unconditionally. God’s love for me is great! It doesn’t matter if I’m a size 4 or 14; He loves me and accepts me, period (Ephesians 2:4)!

I’ve learned that I don’t need a guy to make me happy or to complete me. God is the One in whom I find completion and everything I need (Ephesians 1:3; Colossians 2:10).

I’ve learned that God chose me to be His bride and that guy who didn’t sure has missed out (1 Peter 2:9).

I’ve learned that He thinks I’m beautiful, face and all (Psalm 45:11).

I’ve learned that it was El Elyon, the God Most High; He hung the moon and not the other guy (Genesis 1:16).

And, I’ve learned to love myself and others and to forgive all men because God forgave me, saved me, and restored me unto Himself (Colossians 3:13; 1 John 4:11).

Jenifer welcomes you to visit her at By His Grace Ministry.

Spending Wisely

Join us in welcoming Sandra Wald to the Cafe today!!

With the obsession with frugal living and readjusting of priorities brought on by the recession, I am reminded of a conversation I had with some girlfriends many years ago. One of these friends was jobless and looking and talking about her income requirements. She spoke as if revealing a great revelation, “I don’t have to have a lot of money…as long as I can afford to get my hair done…and buy new clothes…and…” Her list of must-haves was unending.



In a similar conversation, a female colleague informed me that she could get by with very little to be happy. She just had to get her hair and nails done, keep her gym membership and her tennis league. Every now and again, especially when I am thinking about something I want (and don’t really need) the Lord brings these conversations to mind. Every so often he asks me, “What’s your list? What do you have to have?”



This sometimes seems like a fun game to me as a tick off my top “luxuries”—gourmet coffee, a good book, bubble bath. I pause and rethink—can I be happy without those? I consider. Chocolate? I may joke to my friends that I have a physical need for coffee or Dove chocolates, but I know that those things are not my source. They are not my all in all. They are not my soul’s sufficiency. My soul (mind, will, and emotions) finds rest in God alone.



We are told in 1 Timothy 6:8 “But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (NIV). We also recognize according to 1 Timothy 6:6 “…godliness with contentment is great gain” (NIV). You have heard the saying, “Eat less; enjoy more”? Mine is, “Spend less; enjoy more.” Cultivate gratitude. Make note of every blessing.


Some of my friends shared a story with me of how they managed tight finances when they were newly married with several small children (triplets). They desperately wanted to be able to support missionary work, but their finances were just too tight. They decided to give up buying soda and ice cream and use the left over money to give to missionaries. That’s true frugality. Did they feel deprived in giving up their diet Coke and Rocky Road? No, they felt blessed because they were able to spend their money in accordance with their true priorities. That’s the hallmark of true wisdom and frugality—managing your money, so that you can afford to spend where it is important.


Be generous. Be a cheerful giver, in accordance with II Corinthians 9:7 (NIV). This immediately brings to mind my 93-year old grandmother. She buys groceries at a store that gives a penny back on every dollar spent there. That’s not a big return, so most people don’t bother. Well, Grandma saves her receipts, as well as those of every member of her church who purchases groceries there. With her diligence, she got over $500 back! What did she do with her windfall? She gave it to the church.


Dear Lord,
I pray that you would give us wisdom in the area of finance. Help us to make good decisions and see that our trading is profitable. Gives us hearts of gratitude for our blessings. We acknowledge you Lord, as our source. We know that every good and perfect gift comes from you. Increase our giving that we might be a blessing and share in more of your work. Let our spending and saving and giving be in perfect balance. We pray that we would have your priorities. Reveal to us God, how to be wise stewards and give us the grace to truly enjoy all that we have, never forgetting that you are our treasure (Luke 12:24 NIV).

Questions to Ponder:

1. We are advised in Ecclesiastes 7:18b (NIV) to avoid extremes. Are there any areas of your spending where you go to extremes?

2. Do you often buy things to soothe your emotions?

3. Are you giving as much as you would like to?

4. What are your financial goals?

5. How do you envision God using your money for the advancement of the kingdom of God?

In Him,

Sandra


Sandra Wald is an assistant professor of English at Central Methodist University in Fayette, MO. She lives on a farm with her husband in north central Missouri. In her spare time, she enjoys blogging (www.wholesometalk.com), reading, sewing, and baking.

Finding Freedom

I live in America, where I am free to make all kinds of personal choices: where I live, how I relax, where I work, who I spend time with, how I worship, and more. Living in a culture of freedom, I find it difficult to understand a life of slavery. But I know that even today, many people still live in chains, whether literally or figuratively, with no control over their lives.

I remember the stories of the Hebrew slaves in Egypt over 4,000 years ago. God sent Moses to set them free from their lives of bondage to the Egyptians, but surprisingly they did not seem eager to escape. They lived by Pharaoh's bidding, but still they did not really want to leave the comfort of their chains homes.

This past week, I've been teaching the children at our church about Moses and the stories of the Exodus. The tales of pestilence (gnats, flies, frogs and locusts), illnesses (boils and dying livestock), miracles (the river turning to blood and 3 days of darkness) and natural disasters (the hail storm) send shivers up our spines. These days filled with plagues prepared both the Hebrews and the Egyptians for a pivotal moment in history.

The King of Egypt ignored God's commands and He underestimated God's power. The path that Pharaoh (and Egypt along with him) was a path that led to death. The path of disobedience always does.

Before God led His people out of Egypt and into the Promised Land, He tested their faith and made them answer a crucial question. Would they choose a life of chains and death or would they trust God and follow Him on a path to life and freedom? That night when the angel of death came throughout the country, the Hebrews put a sign upon each home that declared it as a home of life. The blood from the passover lamb signified trust in God's plan, obedience to His instructions, and a choice to walk in the path of life.

We may not completely understand what it was like to be slaves, not having a country of our own, living at the whim of another, but we have all lived in bondage.

Romans 6:17 - 18
But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

We don't see "Sin" chained up to our wrists, leading us around where we don't want to go, but we feel Sin's power in our lives. We know in our hearts that sometimes it's easier to do what we know is wrong and we are tugged away from God's path onto the path that leads to death. The Bible declares that we are FREE from the power of sin the moment we put ALL of our trust in Jesus. What a wonderful feeling - to know that sin no longer has any power or control over us.

When I realize this crucial fact of the gospel, I live a totally different life. I know sin is still out there, tempting me and luring me into it's trap, but sin no longer drags me along without my consent. I now have a choice - to walk in the path of life or to follow the path to death. And besides that, I have the power to conquer sin, because I have God living within me since I gave Him control of my life!

Is there a sin in your life (anger, bitterness, jealousy, sexual impurity, greed...) that seems to be wrapped around your soul with a tight dark knot?

Do you believe that God has the power to break those chains in your life? If you want to find freedom, surrender your life, every nook and cranny of your soul, to God and trust Him completely to have utter control. When we take this step of faith and stop struggling against sin, but allow God to conquer sin in us, we can find true freedom.

A Mouse's Story

Please Welcome Beth Pittman back to the Cafe as today's Guest Barista!
(otherwise known as Mrs. Human)

Sometimes, God reminds me of his promises in the most surprising and unusual things…

His steely little eyes shifted back and forth as he sat huddled on the floor.

The humans had left the house and, now, in the quiet, he realized he had the whole house to himself. “What to do?” he asked himself.

He recalled the room with the swinging door that he had visited the night before. There had been something tasty in that room and the thought of it now set his mouth to watering. “That’s it”, he thought, “I’ll go back there.” He scampered across the kitchen floor and headed for the room protected by the swinging door. It didn’t close tightly so he sucked himself in and squeezed through the crack that was left as the door stood ajar. And then, he saw it! The vision of the trash can from the night before that he had pushed into the far regions of his brain was now a reality staring him right in his whiskery little face. This was too good to be true.

He had seen Mr. Human take out the trash can earlier that morning. Now, it stood before him, tall and majestic. He looked up but there was nothing bulging out of the top of it like there was earlier. That was interesting, he thought to himself. Maybe there was something that he couldn’t see still in there….but how was he going to get to the top to find out?

There on the floor beside the trash can was a broom. Mrs. Human hadn’t sat it completely back up in the corner and it was at just the perfect angle for him to crawl up and take a peek inside. His little feet quickly shuffled over to the broom and he carefully picked his way along the handle – slipping once but correcting himself so that once again he was balanced on the broom. He sniffed and shuffled, sniffed and shuffled until finally he had arrived, but then, his worst nightmare was realized! He found himself staring into the deep, vast emptiness of the trash can. He pointed his little nose down towards the bottom – sniff, sniff, sniff – nothing!

But wait!

What was that in the bottom of the can? His eyebrows raised and his tail twitched. He bent over a little further on the slippery broomstick and sniffed again and again. Yes, there was something gooey down there but he just couldn’t tell what. If he could only get just a little closer. He perched on the edge of the broomstick handle and clutched his tiny paws around it, and then he leaned in. Just a little bit closer, he thought. The scent of the gooey substance set every sense in his tiny little body on end. He strained to get a better whiff when all of a sudden the broomstick started to slide away and with that, his view of the inside of the can began to slide away as well.

What was he to do?

It was either hang on for dear life as the broom made its way to the floor or jump.

Jump?

That would be like jumping off the Empire State Building. The drop would probably knock him silly but, but … he would be there in the bottom of the can with the gooey treat. He only had a split second to decide as his stomach growled. The decision was made – he made a giant leap into the can. The broom noisily fell away and he couldn’t tell if it was the sound of the broom hitting the floor or his head hitting the side of the can that was keeping such a racket. Dazed, he sat for a moment, but then he realized he had survived.

He opened one eye and then the other. He blinked and then he opened both eyes, wider this time, and there in front of him was the goo that he had risked life and limb for. He sniffed and slowly inched closer and closer. His nose was almost touching it when he realized that it no longer smelled like what he first imagined as he was leaning on the broom handle.

In fact, it smelled like…. flowers? Maybe he had died after all. He shuffled another inch forward and touched it with his nose this time. Oh, it wasn’t goo at all!! It was a fuzzy lintball that looked like yummy goo from the top of the can.

Oh, what had he done?

He looked up at the four steep walls of the can - there was no escape. He jumped, he flipped, he slid, but the sides were too slick and too steep. He jumped and he jumped and he jumped until he was exhausted. He would never get out of this mess he had gotten himself into. Discouraged and tired, he backed into a corner of the can and sat… and breathed and sniffed. His eyes became heavy and soon he succumbed to blissful, worriless sleep. He dreamed of a big block of cheese that kept moving away from him and then, suddenly, he was jarred awake.

It was Mr. Human talking to Mrs. Human. Mr. Human was looking into the can! Oh no! He had been discovered – his life was over!!

Mrs. Human said something that sounded like “flush him down the toilet”, if you can understand such things when they are squealed. Mr. Human picked up the trash can and started out of the cozy room where all the fun had began into the bright kitchen. His fate was sealed. His last moments would be spent staring at the inside of a toilet bowl.

But what was this?

Mr. Human walked across the kitchen to the door that led outside. Could there be hope?

Could it possibly be???

The door opened and Mr. Human with trash can in tow walked outside. He walked and he walked and he walked and then finally he stopped.

He tipped the trash can over and gave it a hoist and out the little mouse flew. He landed softly on the soft thick grass. He had been saved. But why?

He was just a stinky little mouse who had made a lot of really bad decisions, who had taken what Mr. Human had without even caring what kind of mess he made of things. So, why then would Mr. Human spare his life when he deserved to be flushed down the toilet? He sat and he sat, he pondered and he wondered. And then, it came to him. A tear came to his eye as he sat there in the grass. It was a wonderful, miraculous thought. Mr. Human didn’t want him to die. To Mr. Human, there was more joy in the saving than in the dying. And with that thought, the little mouse ran with glee into the comfort of the nice, safe, warm barn.

Moral of the story: Don’t let temptation cause you to wander where you think you belong but really don’t, and when you do, remember that there’s Someone much bigger than you waiting to set you free.

"But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior." Titus 3:4-6

In Him,

Mrs. Human

Mrs. Human, whose name is actually Beth, is a wife and mother of 3 grown children and has been married for 30 years to Mr. Human, whose real name is Steve. The mouse in this story doesn’t have a name but was actually quite real and was found in the bottom of Beth’s trash can very much alive and so the inspiration for this story. She believes that God uses the even the little things in our lives to speak lessons to us. Beth was raised in a Christian home with loving Christian parents, but it wasn’t until she was 32 that she really understood that Jesus loved and died for her and what that meant for her individually. Her life has never been the same since. She would love to have you visit her at her blog “Lifeboat Moments” at www.lifeboatmoments.blogspot.com

My Old Dealbreaker

"You take one of my babies and the deal's off!"

A few years ago I stood in my shower and through my weeping, I threatened God, or at least I thought I did, that if anything happened to one of my kids I would walk away. Done. Over.

I literally thought that if the worst of my fears actually came true, I would blame Him and never talk to Him again. I was that afraid. I lived in fear; fear that He would take one of my children and if He did, so help me God... because no one else would be able to.

I had the same experience with Him a few years earlier when it came to my husband. I figured that one way for me to be "forced" into getting closer to God and having the "real me" exposed would be if I faced my worst fears. I cried and cried (again in the shower, I figure it's safe there) and said that I didn't want to get any closer to Him if it meant I would lose someone. The results I heard that come from suffering were not ones I was willing to suffer for.

All in all, it was a twisted pattern that stemmed from my grandparents being ripped from our family in a deadly plane crash when I was thirteen. Somehow, those emotions were capitalized on and the Enemy had a hay day with my thought life. Fear set in like cement and put a rock solid belief system in me that took the sledge hammer of truth to set me free.

However, just recently I was on the porch. I had my head leaned back and I was looking up at the clouds rolling by. It was a moment, just between me and Him. That day in the shower came back to mind and I realized at that moment, I didn't think that way anymore. I smiled and realized that I could actually play out my worst fear without being gripped by it. Now, He is my first thought. I think of Him as a refuge and know now that He is the one who would see me through such a terrible thing.

I'll have it no other way.

I've been set free from fear. I can now say that if the worst happened, I believe, in the end, He would still be my God and I would still be His beloved. There is no fear in love. There may be pain, but there is no fear.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. James 4:18

Natalie.

Join Natalie at her personal blog:

and her online Bible Study:

Longing for Freedom

What do you long for?

I wonder this as I watch people walk down the street, drive in their cars, eat ice cream –what is their longing deep inside? For what do they hope? Desire? Wish?

I’ve come to learn most longing and wishing has to do with freedom.

We long for more money because then we will not be slaves to work.

We wish for vacations because then we can escape the mundane.

It seems every area of longing is in response to our need to feel free.

I have never heard anyone wish or admit they long for more rules or laws. That is until I met David one spring day a long time ago.

This David? You know him too. He was the man after God’s own heart.

Check out his longing in Psalm 119:20.

“My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times.”

Is it possible for us to be consumed with longing for the Lord’s law at all times? Totally intoxicated with his statues? Completely abandoned to his word and will for our lives? I want this.

I want this to be our longing.

Strange thing about this David. He wished for more of God’s law upon his heart and just a few verses later in Psalm 119:45 he says, “I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.”

Freedom. David longed to be told how to live because like most wishes it brought him the freedom he deeply desired. Except this freedom is the real deal.

Money runs out; our time here will end; vacations come and go, all of our earthly wishes will never be enough to satisfy our desire for true freedom.

Only following the lead of Christ does that. It is for freedom’s sake that Christ has set us free.

If that sounds like a bit of a mind bender think it through.

We have been set free to live free! Never again do we have to be harnessed to the grips of sin. Free to walk and long for His laws at all times.

While praying this last spring I saw a few of those white weeds that kids ‘wish’ with. You pick the little white puff of a thing up and blow, watching your wish run with the wind.

I recently read in my journal an entry about those ‘wishers’ (as I like to call them). My desire for that journaled day was to “upon every wisher wish for more of Christ and His precepts.”

Freedom to chase more freedom.

Living life wide open and carefree before the throne of grace.

David.

I believe he was a man after God’s own heart because his longing was rooted in chasing after the heart of God. He was free to pursue Freedom.

And wouldn’t you say Freedom set him free?

Ladies, let Freedom ring.

Kristen writes daily at {dancing} in the margins and also at Exemplify Online. She welcomes you to stop by!

Freedom Reigns - Letting Go

I am a first born. I had an approval addiction.

In an attempt to always earn gratitude, attention, and worth, I became an overachiever. I made A’s. I cleaned my room. I took care of my siblings. I took on my mother’s problems. I helped my sister pay for her wedding. I took in my brother at age 14. I worked 40+ hour weeks on top of being a mother. I tried to do everything. By the time I was an adult I was burnt out and bitter. I had so much resentment towards those who didn’t give me their approval. It became so bad that I was angry at myself for not achieving certain things. But God revealed something to me one day.

I was in bondage.

Approval had become a false god in my life.

He revealed to me that my expectations of myself were causing others to expect the same of me. When I couldn’t deliver I began to have the same expectations of others to soothe my pain. After all, if they couldn’t do it then they shouldn’t expect me to. This was a vicious cycle.

Besides, if my mother wasn’t capable of raising her son then how could she expect me to be a perfect mother to him? I was only 24. What did I know about raising a teenager? That is what I thought. However, I still felt it was my responsibility to be the mother he never had. I felt like I had to save him.

I began to fervently seek God and pray for the bondage to be broken. At a woman’s conference I prayed as loud as I could for the generational curses to be stopped at my generation. I got on my face and begged God to take this away from me.

Then, one night, He said, “I already did.”

When? I still feel the same! Why do I still feel like I am shackled? I could not lift my arms in praise since they were bound to my ankles. I could not sing songs of worship because the posture I had to take constricted my voice. I was not free. Why?

I began to feel the words that were coming forth in worship:

Where the spirit of the Lord is

There is freedom

Where the spirit of the Lord is

There is freedom

If you're tired and you are thirsty
There is freedom
If you're tired and you are thirsty

There is freedom

Freedom reigns in this place

Showers of mercy and grace

Falling on every face

There is freedom

Tears began to stream down my face. I felt God holding me. He was speaking to me through this song…

We lift our eyes to Jesus

There is freedom
We lift our eyes to Jesus

There is freedom

Freedom reigns in this place
Showers of mercy and grace

Falling on every face
There is freedom

Jesus reigns in this place
Showers of mercy and grace
Falling on every face
There is freedom

I heard Him say “let go.”

“Let go of what?” I asked.

“Control” He said.

Whatever you're burdened with tonight

Whatever you struggle with tonight
There is Freedom
There is freedom

Nobody is looking at you tonight

Nobody is looking at you tonight

The eyes of the Lord is moving to and fro throughout the Earth

Seeking an heart that's completely His

“But how do I let go?” I asked Him.

God said to me, “Look down”

When I looked down at the chains that bound me…

…they were already broken.

All I had to do was take them off. They had been broken the whole time. I had prevented my own freedom.

With my eyes closed and tears pouring from my eyes, I went through the motions of removing the chains from my wrists. I didn’t care who saw or what they thought. I just did it.

I raised my hands higher than I ever had before. I began to jump up and down, smile, and sing louder than I ever had before.

Jesus you reign in this place

Showers of mercy and grace

Falling on every face

There is freedom

Freedom reigns in this place
Showers of mercy and grace

Falling on every face

There is freedom

I had to give up control of my emotions and mindset to God. I accepted my freedom from this bondage.

I sometimes still fall back into this old mindset. It is during these times that God reminds me to remove the shackles and to stop holding on to things that I think I have control over.

"I will walk at liberty and at ease, for I have sought and inquired for [and desperately required] Your Truth and Your Wisdom." - Psalm 119:45

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed." - Luke 4:18

What are you holding on to?

I'd love for you to visit me at my personal blog: Amy Bayliss.com

Great Expectations...

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

The past few days I have slowed down a little in my normal daily routine because either by old age I hurt my back or pulled something during my exercise routine!

Don't you love it when our Savior slows us down? This is what I have been pondering for the last few weeks. As I struggled with what to write about, God brought me back to my study in the book of Romans - just in time to share with you!

God beautifully and perfectly reminds each of us who know Him that all His adopted children suffer in this flesh – but it is temporary and not to be compared to our eternal perfect state!

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day." For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." II Corinthians 4:16-18

Great Expectations is the expectation of us seeing our Savior face to face, at which time we receive our glorified bodies too! Wow! I don't know about ya’ all but I am getting pumped and overly filled with uncontainable joy just pondering these things! I can't wait for all the physical pains and the signs of old age to disappear. I also am anxiously awaiting that day when there will b no more separation between brothers and sisters in Christ!

“But if we hope for what we do not see we eagerly wait for it with perseverance." II Corinthians 4:25

Our journey passing through in this world can get tedious, difficult and sometimes, pretty lonely too. I think of the Apostle Paul when he stated:

"At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them." II Timothy 4:16-17

Our apostle Paul’s life is an example of steadfastness. There is another example too, King David of ancient Israel. All of David’s closest friends abandoned him in his time of need. Above all we have is our Savior Jesus Christ - who also was left alone during the darkest hours leading up to his death on Calvary's tree. We women of God can find much comfort from these examples, even during our own times of disillusionment.

"Yet in All these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

Note: The operative word here is “ALL” – in every situation!

What if you have already reached the point where you just think it is no longer worth it? Our Savior understands this too!

“And He searching the hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:27

God is constantly reminding each of us that our hope is not in this "earthen vessel” but rather, points to our “Great Expectation!”

"And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever Amen!" II Timothy 4:18

Recently, our family was faced with some heartache in ministry and a situation that did not make sense to us by human eyes. We knew without a shadow of a doubt though, that we have been called here to our current place of residence. Why would the Lord bring us 800 miles to “nowhere” and then, to proceed to stop us “dead on our tracks?""

“Jehovah is righteous in all His ways and holy in all His works.” Psalm 145:17

Great Expectations! That is it! Our Savior works in ways we don’t always see or understand – but, He is constantly opening new and awesome avenues we could have never understood or see before hand! That is why we don't lose heart and why we persevere.

Not everyone has a Christian woman’s “Great Expectations though. A very well known Hollywood actress, Playboy model and fitness guru, Susanne Sommers, recently declared her willingness to down 40 pills a day, take physical injections and submit to “going under the knife” in order to maintain her looks. She vows to do these things until she in 100. Sadly, this beautiful woman does not possess the “great expectations” of a Godly woman who possesses beauty inwardly. She could though…

“But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according the the hope of eternal life." Titus 3:4-7

Let’s make sure our mind is set on the truths of God’s eternal promises to all who love Him. For He alone is become our God of “great expectations!”

A song to share: Dc Talk “Heaven Bound”

It is a love from above not of this world Kinda profound, a trump will sound And all God's children are Heaven Bound

God has promised us a home in glory Trust in Him A trump will sound And all God's children are Heaven Bound.

Close and Personal:

1. Do you remember a time in your journey when things did not make sense at the beginning later found out that God had all things under His apt control all along?

2. Where do you find your Great Expectation?

“Dear Heavenly Father I want to thank you today for you being with me during times when no one else was. Thank you for your longsuffering. I also want to thank you Lord again teaching us that you have all things under your control and whether we understand when things happen we know that you allow everything in our lives for our very best! Thank you for loving us that much, my Savior and friend!”

In Him,

del.icio.us Tags: beauty,dc talk,heaven bound,regeneration,expectations,Elaine Barnes Bateman,glory,God,Savior,Jesus Christ

Tell Fear to Take a Flying Leap

I'm thinking that there are plenty of us that deal with fear on some level. For instance, I sincerely hate driving or walking over those big drain grates in the road. There is an irrational fear that they'll open right up and I'll fall deep into the waters under the city where rats will be my only company.

A friend of mine doesn't like swimming. She thinks an indoor pool might open up and throw into hell. We all know these things won't happen, but sometimes the fear of what could happen outweighs the truth.

That's the joke with fear. Usually our fear of something is never as bad as what actually could or will happen.

The fear is very real, even if it never comes to a reality.

For me, it's flying.

Now, I have a pretty good reason to be afraid of flying. In 1986 my grandparents were flying to Dallas in their small, six-seater Bonanza plane when disaster hit. They got caught in a storm, the autopilot wouldn't disengage, and my grandparents went down somewhere in north Texas.

It was one of the most horrible days of my life. I remember it clearly. Young, scared, and helpless. So, because of that, I tend to not like flying.

Who really likes to get into a metal cylinder that flies above the ground at 30,000 feet? I'm just not comfortable being in a tube that is only inches thick. You know that step from the jetway to the plane? That moment between on the ground and in the tube? Well, I always look at how thin the plane is and whisper a prayer. I might also throw in a little pat on the plane, kiss the doorway, do the sign of the cross, and anoint the pilots with oil.

Not only that, when I fly Jesus has to talk me through the entire flight. I'm not kidding. Every minute is a prayer. Mind you, I'm not freaking out in those minutes, but I am keenly aware of how much time we have left in any flight. I love those planes with the little T.V. that will show you have far your plane has left to fly, however, I'm sure if you looked at my face you'd want to slap that look of concern and worry right off.

To make matters worse, anytime there is turbulence I get a little white knuckled and it's all I can do not to stand up and yell to those unphased by the terror, "What's wrong with you people?! Didn't you feel that! Did you know we're going to die!"

In contrast, when I hear the captain say we are beginning our descent, I want to jump and shout, "Thank you Jesus!" Then I imagine making my way around the plane to hug complete strangers because we just escaped death together.

One time, when the pilot put the landing gear down, I had a little bit of a moment of "Oh no! What was that!" So much so, that I grabbed the arm of the man next to me and said, "Is that normal?!" He answered, looking at me with a bit of alarm then glancing at his arm, "I think it was the landing gear."

"Oh," I replied, slipping my hand off of the man's arm.

Now, could I die in a plane crash? Maybe, that fear cannot be allowed to paralyze me and steal life and joy from me.

One way to beat the fear came from a dear friend of mine. This wisdom touched my heart and helped me be set free from so much fear. Now when I fly I remember these tender, tender, touching words from the heart of someone who really wanted to ease my fear.

"Natalie, look, if the plane goes down, you die."

Point taken.

Why freak out about what I can't control.

I am now free to move about the country.



What fear rules your life? What is something you let control you even when you cannot control it? How can Christ deliver you from fear?


Join me at my homes!


and

photo: clipart.com

Grace Was Here!

Then the One seated on the throne said “Look! I AM making everything new!” 

Revelation 21:5

Think back to when you were little. Remember the smell of early summer mornings flowing through the screen door?

I can remember being at a friend’s home one such day.

Just beyond their home was a field of lovely wild flowers. I still remember their mixed fragrances whisking through the open windows. I can still see the soft white sheer panels billowing in their living room. Their home was always so tidy. I can smell the Pine-Sol her mother used on her kitchen floors and the smell of freshly folded towels. Their home was so welcoming. They were always ready to receive visitors.

Is your home like that?

Let me clarify. I am not talking about the place with the address by the door and a mailbox out front. I am talking about your heart’s home of many rooms.

Are visitors welcome at anytime?

Or do you prefer to keep your unexpected guests waiting outside because you did not take the time to clean? Is there a room you have altogether forgotten? Are you ashamed of the condition of most of your inner rooms?

Well, you are certainly not alone. Many of us choose to keep others at arms length because we are afraid for them to see what is lurking behind closed doors.

FEAR NOT, faithful followers! There is Heavenly Hope for a new home!

The messes we have made, however, can only be cleansed with an "All-Purpose-Out-Of-This-World scum remover."

What is it called?

One word...Grace. And when the cleansing Grace of our Redeemer Jesus Christ has swept through the rooms of our hearts, we are the most amazed at the differences He has made.

However, in order for Him to make new all that we are ashamed of, we need to first unlock all those creaky doors...then hand over the key. After He has begun this new work, shame will no longer plague you. Rather than anxiously trembling at the thought of someone finding that disgraceful room and peering inside, you eagerly wait for company with open arms and doors!

‘Come in! See my new home! Look at the rooms all in order! Go ahead, make yourself at home!’, you will excitedly proclaim.

And when He does bring guests by your way, make sure they leave knowing what the ‘before pictures’ looked like. And with that, you will have instilled HOPE into their hearts that the same GRACE you received is available for their abodes.

All they need to do is make an appointment with this solid, co-owned and operated cleaning Company called Thy Kingdom Come! Slogan: WE make all things new!

Did I mention that the services are free having already been paid for (with blood) long ago?

However, in order to ensure abiding tidiness, be careful to bring nothing back in that He carried out.

Oh, HE has a list of what those are, too (Colossians 3:5-10; Galatians 5:19-21).

Holy Father, thank You for making us new creations. Thank You, LORD, for giving us Your Spirit Who reveals to us the true condition of our inner selves. Thank You for delivering us from shame, filth and disgrace. Instill the hope of Your new works in Your daughters today. Blessed be Your Name!


Visit Carmen at: Women of the Word for more encouraging truths for your day!

Healing the Brokenhearted

I grew up in the era of black and white westerns. As battles ensued, arrows flew through the air occasionally lodging into a cowboy’s body. Grabbing the arrow and breaking it off, he would continue fighting with the arrowhead lodged inside. After the battle, he would have the arrowhead cut out. As I watched, I had no idea I was being given a picture of what happens in life.

There is a story of God written on our lives. We bear in our bodies the image of the living God. The enemy fears God’s image and wants to destroy it, so he sets traps to steal, kill and destroy.

Things happen in life. We get hurt. Arrows carrying messages of rejection, abandonment, failure, etc., implant into our minds. As the arrowhead pierces through, the message embeds. Like the cowboys we break it off and keep pressing on. The problem is the distorted message remains inside and we don’t even know it.

When things happen to us as children we reason through a child’s mind. We don’t see things as they really are, we see them as perceived. Things get mixed up and It’s hard as a child to know what’s truth.

Most of my life I lived thinking there was something wrong with me. I was told the story of how I got my name. My parents were expecting a boy so they didn’t have a name picked out. From that point on I believed that I wasn’t what they wanted. I wasn’t what was planned. On top of that I was more active than all my siblings, therefore I wasn’t like anyone else. For 40 + years of my life I didn’t know that what I perceived was not true. All I knew is that I didn’t feel acceptable. As hurt people do, I built a wall of self-protection. I became a hardworking, efficient, striving woman. Everyone loves a good worker.

Jesus said He came to heal the brokenhearted and to set the captives free. Our emotions are like the lights on the dashboard of our cars lighting up to tell us that something is not right under the hood. It’s an invitation to look and see what’s really going on. Anger is a strong indicator of unhealed hurt. So often I don’t know why I am angry, I’m just angry. If I take my anger or other emotions, to God and ask the questions, often a distorted message is revealed. That is what He’s coming for. He wants to expose those old beliefs in order to redeem them with His truth.

I’ve learned that journaling is a great way to process what’s going on inside me. “Why am I so angry?” “What am I feeling?” “What am I hearing?” “What am I believing?” The goal is to expose those distorted messages that have been planted inside me and renew my mind with His truth. In order to do that sometimes I have to go back to that painful memory. When He wants me to go there, He brings the memory up. In remembering He is able to give me His eyes to see what really happened. He exposes what I believed about myself and compares it to what He says about me. He loves replacing the lies with His truth. It sets my captive heart free and heals my broken heart.

The enemy has tried throughout your life to mar your image of God. You have an identity all your own, a unique shadow of Him. Jesus came to restore you to your true identity. Who does He say you are?

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners. Isaiah 61:1

Are you aware of the broken places in you?

What are the messages you hear over and over?

What lies have you embraced as true?

Papa God,
thank you that you sent Jesus to heal our broken hearts and set us free from the enemy’s traps and lies. Thank you that you see us as we really are. Give us eyes to see what you see. We love you.

Julie can be found daily at her blogspot, Jewelz Sightings

Just Do Your Best

Just a quick stop to get some gift ideas – Mother’s Day, AWANA teachers, school teachers. I grabbed a buggy, sanitized the front handle, and plopped my daughter in the seat. Up and down the aisles I scoured looking and thinking. How about this? Would she like that? What is on sale? Halfway through the store, I found it nestled between some nicks for the bathroom and nacks for the living room.

It was a metal sign. Not one meant for anyone on my lengthy gift list. It was meant for me. The colors would match nicely with my décor. The boldness of the words drew me in. But the words themselves are what had me reaching to put it in my buggy.

JUST DO YOUR BEST

I immediately thought of my six-year-old son and his challenges with following the rules at school. Just do your best. I could hang it in the hall outside his bedroom. My mommy future-vision imagined him standing at the podium in front of his senior class saying, “My mom hung a sign outside my door that said it all – just do your best.”

Yes, it was perfect. I purchased it quickly and headed home to meet the bus. By the time I got home, I decided that perhaps then den was the perfect spot. Then our guests could enjoy it, as well. I hung it on a chest in the hall temporarily as I launched into the busyness of evening.

By the time I climbed the stairs for bed, the sign was long forgotten. My mind was cluttered with writing deadlines, room-mom responsibilities, must-do laundry, and the still un-bought Mother’s Day gifts. I was remembering a conversation with my mother only days before. One in which I shared with her how much I struggled with trying to be the greatest at everything – the greatest mother, the greatest wife, the greatest cook, the greatest writer, the greatest room-mom, the list goes on.

“Oh, Lord,” I cried out, “You have to help me.” As I lifted my eyes over the top of the stairs, He did – with four simple words and a metal sign. He whispered those four words to my heart.

JUST DO YOUR BEST.

My imaginary weight lifted, and I took a deep breath. I can do that, I thought. I can do my best. Then I laughed realizing the words I meant to encourage others had encouraged me instead. It’s amazing how God can take the simplest things and use them to illustrate his message to us. God has called me to do more, more for Him. But even still His encouraging words still ring in my heart – Just do your best!

And, oh, yes, tell Archippus, "Do your best in the job you received from the Master. Do your very best." Colossians 4:17 The Message

Are you feeling over-burdened with the load you carry? Do you beat yourself up because you aren't living up to your own expectations? Just do your best!

Life in the back yard

I read a book recently entitled "Straight from Hell" by Donna Frank. The book tells her story of being born into Godlessness and despair and abuse and confusion and fear. It tells of her maturing into a lifestyle that would guarantee her more of the same.

Then . . . God showed up.

The rest of the story describes her deliverance, one painful step at a time, at the hand of God, into truth, freedom and life in Christ.

It's a gripping story because I know that it's true - I've met her. It's also gripping because I know she's not the only one who has struggled with following the flesh. Most of us do at times. We all deal with things in life that God calls sin - things like unforgiveness, bitterness, anger and lust. (yeah, my drooling over the house down the street is lust.)

There are days when my own struggles are "obvious" to everyone within the same zip code as me. Then, there are days when I kind of look like Jesus. On my Jesus days, I feel deserving of God's attention and of my role in the body of Christ. "Oh yeah. I can see it . . . God using me in some fashion to advance the Kingdom, spread some truth, make someone's burden a little lighter. It could happen!"

But, on those "other" days, things can take an ugly turn. On those days I sometimes decide that I have a right to do a little blaming, nurse a few hurts, sling a little attitude in all directions, and exercise a little lust (I'm telling you, if you could just SEE this house. . . ).

And, if it begins to look like I'm not gonna straighten up and fly right - on my own - God will almost always throw me "the look". (If you have parents, you know "the look"). After 2o-something years of walking with God, I am proud to say that "the look" stops me in my tracks. I instantly realize that I've been playing in the devil's back yard and it's time to go home.

The problem is, when I get home, I can't look God in the eye.

I hang around in the back yard hoping He doesn't come looking for me. Because I've sinned - and knew better - I don't feel that I deserve His attention anymore and I'm sure that He's given my assignment in the kingdom to someone else who's nicer, more forgiving and less a pain in the neck. I would have.

Enter, Donna's book. She describes the moment that she prayed and asked Christ to be her Savior. While making Himself very real to her, He spoke to her, saying:

"You are going to build My Church."

Here's the incredible part. She was YEARS away from total deliverance. She would spend several more years dealing with a lifetime of anger, abuse, dysfunction, sexual identity issues, fear, confusion, etc. She was years away from actually being what some might call "useful" to God. But God didn't say, "Listen Honey, if you get yourself cleaned up and stop embarrassing Me, I'll consider looking into whether I might have a little something for you to do behind the scenes somewhere. Maybe." He simply said, "You will build My Church."

"You, who are, at this present time, a mess."
"You, who don't yet know Me very well."
"You, who even while you're hearing My words, think that I'm talking about building literal church buildings."
"You, who have never experienced peace or freedom, will bring both to many."

(You, hiding in the backyard. You who won't look Me in the eye. You, who think that I've given up on you because of your mistakes, which are many. You. I have called you.)

God called Donna as a 'church builder' before the foundation of the world. He saw her ministering to prostitutes, homeless folks, strippers and run-a-ways long before He even created the universe. God never saw her as the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wreck that she was. He saw her as His "Church Builder".

He saw the end before He created the beginning.

That's why He is able to "call things that are not as though they are." (Romans 4:17)
That's why He called Abraham "the father of many nations" while he was childless.
That's why He can call us (yes, us) "kings and priests , a royal race" (Rev. 5:10) though we struggle with everyday life and on the surface, bear little resemblance to anything royal OR holy!

While we walk around on this planet bungling our responsibilities, ministering to our flesh and living lives of ------- distraction, He is calling us to leave the back yard and enter His house. He is calling us to come by the kitchen table and pick up our assignments and believe that He has called us and gifted us to minister. While we sit in shame, believing the devil's lie that - because of our mistakes - we are no longer of any real use to God's Kingdom, part of the Kingdom remains un-manned.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10)

Our struggles don't disqualify us. They simply identify us as human --- and our 'human-ness' doesn't surprise God. Donna took God at His word when, after He healed her and set her free, He asked her to ''Pass it forward!" She believed that she was, indeed, a new creature filled with the power and love of the God of the universe - despite the fact that she spent a lifetime in the devil's back yard. And I'll just bet that the people she ministers to in the streets and back alleys and strip clubs are very grateful that somebody took God at His word and isn't afraid to jump the fence and come after them and explain to them just whose back yard they've been playin' in.




Visit Darnelle at her personal blog:
All Things Work Together. . .

A Little of My Culinary Expertise…

“Everyone can be great because anyone can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve… you only need a heart full of grace – a soul generated by love”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr. ~

Quite a few years back I remember being in a seminar that would teach me how to be more successful at the direct sales business I was then a part of.

“Tell me who you are and what you do.” the instructor said.

“My name is Amy and I am a Future Director with the Pampered Chef!” I said with a smile and spunk in my voice.

“Incorrect,” she said. “your name is Amy and that is who you are but ‘Future Director with the Pampered Chef’ does not tell me what you do. Try again.”

“What?” I thought to myself. “Who is this crazy woman? Does she know who I am?”

At the time I was pretty successful at my business. I didn’t just sell products. I gave a live cooking show complete with a take home manual on how to accomplish some of the finest culinary skills that I had mastered at the time. I was asked to give my presentation at a large Pampered Chef event and my “show” was even recorded for training purposes. I already had recruits, my sales were high, and I had only been at it for a few months. I thought I was “it”! Can you tell?

So then this little woman with a big voice says to me again, “C’mon. Tell me what you do.”

“I’m a consultant with the Pampered Chef (she shakes her head no). I’m an independent contractor (now she is rolling her eyes). I’m a salesperson?

“All titles.” she says. “Do you cook?”
“Yes.” I said.
“Do you help people buy the most efficient products for their kitchen?”
“Yes” I said once again.
“Well that is something that you do!” she said. “If I’ve never been a part of anything to do with Pampered Chef then I have no clue what ‘Future Director’ means. You must tell me what you can do and better than that, show me how it works!”

Lightbulb moment.

People don’t care about our fancy titles and how we refer to ourselves. They want to know what we do and how we can help them. I can say that I am a Christian or a child of God till I am blue in the face but what does that mean to someone who has never been to church or experienced the hand of God in their lives? It means nothing.

Who am I and what do I do?

My name is Amy and I have a desire to serve people. I pray for others. I have to repent daily and I go the extra mile to help others if they are in need. I try to bless others when no one else is watching because it isn’t about the glory. I serve a God who is bigger than me and He can help me overcome anything.

That is what I do and that my friend is part of who I am. So the next time you are in a position where you are about to say, “Well, I am a Christian.” or “I’m the Assistant Pastor” or “I am a ministry leader”, remember that you could be the only one within ears reach who knows what that means and this is your chance to sell some kitchen tools, er uh, show the love of Christ by serving someone else! That is what a Christian is and that is what we do!

For you have been called to live in freedom--not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.
~ Galatians 5:13 ~

I'd love for you to visit me at my personal blog: In Pursuit of Proverbs 31