On Wearing Bras...
My oldest daughter, “Boog” wants to wear a "bra." It's not a real one and it's not like she even needs one. She's 9 and only 9 and there is nothing that shows she is anything but 9. Doesn't sound like a big deal does it? But, my husband (whom I affectionately call in the Blogosphere, Pastor JT) sees it as such. At first I didn't really agree. I mean, what's the harm in wearing a little "bra?" No one can see it and it makes her feel kind of older. Aha, that's the problem. Well, that's part of the problem. In fact, it's not really the problem. wait...
My husband couldn't really figure out why it bothered him so much, he just knew that he didn't want her wearing one.
Too "grown up?" Kind of.
It wasn't until he was talking about it with my brother-in-law about the whole thing that it snapped into the real reason why.
Boog wants to be someone she isn't.
She isn't a girl with "girls" yet, but she wants to be one. She isn't a girl who can wear make-up, but she wants to be. She wants to be someone else. Not that she isn't happy being Boog, she just wants what other people have.
Wear this or that.
Have what they have.
Is it not the ageless dilemma, dare I say bondage, that women struggle with even as adults? We think we'd be happier if we had a job, or if we stayed home with our kids. We'd sure feel better about ourselves if we had the house she does, or a husband like that. We would most certainly feel better if we had her body or her hair.
"If only I had_____________."
"If only I was_____________."
You fill in the blank.
I want to train her to live in the moment God has for her. It's not so much about her acting out being and feeling "older." It's about her living in the moment of her age, purpose, and calling. Even at 9.
Not that there is anything with dreaming and having goals. No, that's good and right. But, I don't want her dreaming about the latest look, fashion, or boy. So, if that means the bra goes in the trash and some tears are shed, then so be it.
What about at 34? How often have I wished I wore a different bra size, so to speak. Lived on someone else calendar? Had someone else's opportunities? How often have I fallen for wishing I lived on that other, greener grass?
How much effort do I put into my life to make it what I wish it was? Which of those wishes should I go after? Which ones need to come under God's authority? Which ones do I need to stop wishing for?
Needless to say, the bra is going in the trash simply because she got busted wearing it the other day when we went out. It was okay to wear it around the house, but since she lied and snuck it out of the house to go to a party with us, it's going in the big green bin. We will remove the very thing that pulls her to feel like someone she isn't and caused her to sin.
...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...Hebrews 12:1 NIV
Our value is in Jesus and what He has done for us. He has a calling on our lives and we will live it in confidence and with grace. We have to stop believing the enemy who whispers in our ear that we would be happy "if only..." Stop letting those "wishes" cause us to sin against God and lie to ourselves and other about who we really are.
Father, may we find all we need in You!
Is there a “bra” you need to get rid of?