The Mother Heart of God

The years of skinned knees are a distant memory. I wonder how many “boo-boo’s" I’ve kissed through my 22 years of parenting. There’s something about the comfort of a mother that makes it all better.

I remember a time in my life many years ago when I had a boo-boo that needed to be kissed by God. It was unlike any other storm I had faced. With tears streaming down my face I pleaded for His mercy to give me something to hold onto. He spoke tenderly to me. “As a mother comforts her child, I will comfort you.”

As the days moved forward He began to show me in tangible ways how present He was. Each time my daughter got hurt, I would sweep her up in my arms, hold her tightly, and wipe away her tears until she was comforted. God spoke to my heart again, “That’s Me with you.” “I’m holding you tight, wiping away your tears.”

He knows when we sit down and when we rise up. Our thoughts are ever before Him. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He wove us together in our mother’s wombs. We are intimately and personally known by Him. I get a small taste of God's love when I think of my love for my own children.

As mothers we kiss boo-boo’s and sometimes stay up into the wee hours of the night to nurse our children. We sweep them up into our arms to comfort them. As we hold them tightly, we sometimes sing softly over them or whisper words of love until their pain is soothed.

I can hear my children’s cries above any other. In a crowd full of people my eye is searching to know where they are. I know their voice. They know mine.

I carried them close to my heart while they were being formed in my womb. They have felt my heartbeat. They are forever woven into the fiber of my being. They have left their mark on me, and now part of me is carried in them. They are the apple of my eye, my greatest treasures on earth.

As I consider my heart towards my children, He invites me to see His heart. As a mother comforts her child, so He comforts me. He dances over me with singing. He tenderly carries those who have young. I am the apple of His eye. He is woven into my very being and I am woven into Him.

The Mother heart of God tenderly carries me when life beats me down. He sings to me His songs of love. He knows my voice. He hears me when I cry out. He runs to grab me up and kiss away my pain. He listens to me when I want to talk.

There’s a place upon His breast in which I can nestle. It’s a place where the storms around me subside. It is there I hear His heartbeat. I settle in close as the rhythm of His heart soothes me. It is then that I realize I am where I belong. He carries me close to His heart.


Papa God, today I am thankful for Your steadfast love that never ceases. I am thankful that You carry me close to your heart. I am thankful for a mother who didn’t give up on me, who waited for me to find love from You so I could see the beauty of her love. Thank you for the gifts of my children. They are my treasures on earth. I love you.

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

The Ache of God

I spent the better part of my life living as a religious woman. I did what I was told a good Christian should do. Performance and striving were a way of life for me. Guilt, condemnation and shame were frequent visitors. The more they visited, the busier I became.


In all honesty, I believed that my religious acts would somehow bring me the closeness I desired with God. If I followed all the rules maybe it would be enough to draw near to me. I could believe God would fellowship with me when I was doing religious stuff. But would He be with me in the mundane? I wasn’t so sure. I was afraid to slow down long enough to find out.


That’s when the invitation arrived.


“Jewel, come to the wilderness with Me.” “I want to teach you how to see me as husband, instead of Master.”



His isolation is the opposite of our isolation. He pulls us away in order to reveal. We, on the other hand, isolate in order to hide.


There’s something magical about the land of isolation with God. Pretense and performance are removed. It’s just you and Him. It’s in that place that you begin to discover what you are made of, what’s really inside of you.


One of my favorite movies is “Hidalgo”. It’s the story about a man named Frank Hopkins. He’s half Indian, half white man. Tormented by a painful childhood memory he loses sight of his heritage. He’s forgotten who he is.



He’s known for his endurance horse racing. A representative of an Arabian nation sees him in a wild west show. He invites him to come to his country and compete in a race against a royally bred Stallion. The race will be held smack dab in the middle of the desert. He will face elements he’s never experienced before while all alone in a foreign country. He accepts.


The ride in the desert was laden with obstacles and challenges. It was a long, hard, arduous ride. Frank’s determination and will kept him from giving up, though at times he wanted to. As he fought against each obstacle, the man inside began to break out. Little by little he reengaged with who he was. By the end of the race he knew what was in him.



One of the reasons I love that movie is because it speaks to me of my own story. God had allured me to His isolation. Alone with my kids, my husband and God, unable to serve in any capacity, I began to see the many masks I had worn. What I had relied on for value was what I could do. I had allowed my ability to fulfill religious requirements to define who I was.


In the wilderness, His words began to pierce into a deep place in my soul.

He told me He had no requirements. There was nothing I “should” do. He ached for me to need to be loved by Him. That was all. He began to reveal to me who He was and who I was to Him. Life turned a corner for me. I will never be the same.







Aches within me began to rise up to the surface. I was made aware of longings that almost took my breath away. It was then I realized. That’s His heart beating in me, inviting me to join Him where He is.


In the yearnings of my heart I realize that those things I long for, are the things He longs for too. Made in His image, His fingerprints are all over my life. Coming to terms with who I am has unleashed Him in me.


Sometimes the desires unfulfilled bring a pain all their own. It’s in those times that I identify with Him the most. He longs for intimacy with mankind in a way that most will likely never fully understand.


His heart has been misrepresented and misunderstood. It’s not our fulfilled requirements He’s after. It's us. God aches for us. It’s that simple.

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. Hosea 2:14

What's In the Doorway?

It was 9:00AM on July 9th when I got the phone call.


My daughter’s unintelligible words mixed with tears told me something bad had happened. “Mom, I think I just got bit by a poisonous snake”.


I tried to stay calm as I rushed to get my clothes on. Maybe she was wrong. Did she really know snakes that well? Moments later a conversation with her father confirmed it. My daughter had been bitten by a baby copperhead while walking through the doorway at work.

It lay hidden between the thresh hold and the door.


It took several weeks of healing before she was back on her feet. From that point on, she watched where her feet were planted.


Months after her healing, I realized something profound. That is a picture of my story.


Jesus came to me and offered me salvation. I accepted. I had no clue what it all really meant. I knew that I had alot of sin and needed forgiveness. I knew I needed love. It was by grace that I was saved.


I walked through the door and was immediately bitten by the serpent that lay hidden in the doorway of religious activity.


I was loaded up with a list of things that good Christians do. If you want to love God well, you should spend at least 30 minutes a day in quiet time, preferably in the morning, like Jesus did. Every good Christian made prayer lists, volunteered to teach Sunday School, attended Bible study and every church service, evangelized, signed up for VBS. You get the idea.


I look back on it now and realize something astounding. Grace brought me to salvation. But I left grace behind once I walked through that door. The list of “should’s" took over my life. I lost sight of the invitation to just be loved. In fact I didn't really know that being loved was the offer. The serpent had his bite into me and I didn’t even know it. With my imperfections he began to spread his poison of shame throughout the veins of my life. I never seemed to do enough to feel loved.



The serpent lurks about seeking who he might destroy. If he can keep me bound to a life of should’s he will keep me bound to shame, for I will surely fail. If you don’t believe that, think about how you feel when you miss your “quiet time” for several days or haven’t prayed for anyone. Guilt and shame rear their ugly heads.


Here’s my reality. For God so loved, He sent Jesus to restore me back to love. I am an image bearer of the Most High God. I and all my old, dead flesh have been crucified with Christ. I no longer live. Christ now lives in me.


I didn’t get it back then, but I am starting to now. Jesus brought me to salvation to bring me back to living as one who is loved. The One who knew He was loved because of who He was to the Father says to me. “Just as the Father has loved me, I now love you.” It’s a love where there are no conditions, no expectations, no requirements because all was fulfilled by Him.


It’s the most stunning thing I’ve ever known. Words of invitation are extended,

“Jewel, let me love you into who you are.”

“Take off the shackles of slavery to the should’s."

“You are free.”

“Live out of my love.”

“Don’t return to a yoke of slavery.”

“Not to sin.”

“Not to works.”

“It’s no longer about what you need to do.”

“It’s now about Me and what I will do in and through you.”

“Follow me, Jewel..."

“I will make.”

“I made you to love you, it’s that simple.”

“As you live in love, you will fulfill all the Father desires for you.”


I’ve been on this path for a few years now. He’s held true to His promise. My true identity is emerging as I receive His love. Guilt and shame have for the most part dropped away. They frequently try to visit, but have become unwelcome guests.


His Spirit has taken me to places I didn’t know existed, straight into the heart of deep intimacy with the Father. I've never known love like this before. As I’ve settled into His embrace, I’ve found the place of grace. It’s the doorway where love covers a multitude of sins. It’s where love covers me.

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

The Door is Always Open

As I stood at the edge of the threshold, a hush filled the room.

What would He think when He saw me standing there? I don’t deserve to be here. Will He see me? Will He wonder why I’ve come? I don’t think I can bear to see the look of disappointment on His face.


My eyes look down, embarrassed to have them looked into. I want so desperately to enter in and feel His embrace. What must He think of me? I haven’t lived as I should. I haven’t been who I was made to be. Is He disgusted with me too? Will He talk to me today? I don’t deserve to be talked to. I don’t even deserve His glance. I don’t deserve to be here. Should I turn and leave before He sees me?


Suddenly I hear His voice. “Come here, Jewel.” “Come sit with me a bit”. Tentatively I move forward to sit.


How can He look at me that way? How can His eyes light up like that as I move towards Him? Doesn’t He see how dirty I am? Doesn’t He see my sin covering me? I feel it shroud me and I am ashamed. Surely He sees it too.

I don’t want to fall back into these places of sin, but I do. Why do I keep making these choices?


He pats the seat next to Him and tells me to sit. I see the kindness in His eyes and I am undone. How can He look at me like that? How can He love me so?


He knows what I am thinking. After all He knows everything. “Jewel, you are still looking at your performance aren’t you?” “You’re still grading my love for you based on how well you perform.” “It’s not your good behavior that invites you here with me, it’s love.” “You belong to me, Jewel, it’s that simple.” “ I moved heaven and earth to be with you.” “Nothing you do or don’t do can change that.” "I don't see you covered in sin." "I see you."


I hear His words yet they are still so hard to grasp. He loves me apart from anything I do? He loves me just because He does? He will never be disgusted with me? He knows that my sin does not define me? He knows that the choices I make are not my identity?


But I don’t deserve this love.


His voice penetrates into my inward dialogue.

“Jewel, if you look at your behavior as a barometer for love, you will never deserve. Love isn’t based on what is deserved. That makes it about you. It’s not about you. It’s about the Father. God IS love. We created in order to love. Unconditional love means there are no conditions to being loved. You’re just loved... period.”


“Think about your children Jewel, You have always loved them. They are a part of you. This love you have for them runs so deep that nothing that they do could ever take it away. You don’t love them because of their choices, or actions. You love them because they were made in the midst of love to be loved. That’s me with you.”



No matter how many times I screw up and make the wrong choice those eyes of kindness welcome me back where I belong, in His embrace. He doesn't grade me or keep record. Neither should I. I feel the tenderness of His heart as He reminds me that He reveals my sin to bring me back into living in love. He waits to love me. Sin takes me away from the embrace. His kindness leads to my repentance. For there is no place I'd rather be than here with Him, seeing that look in His eyes.




This intense love draws me in and I am undone. I have never experienced anything like it. As His truth washes over me, I linger in the arms of love, feeling the full affects of the cross, and resurrection.



The door is always open. We are always welcomed in. He delights in loving us. We will never be graded again. There are no conditions, nothing to fulfill, only love awaits.




You, dear one are a daughter of God, created in the midst of love, to be loved. Do you see it? The door is always open. Enter in with confidence. For you are deeply wanted and loved. He's waiting.

Let us then approach the throne room of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

Love Never Leaves

When I first became a parent, I had no idea I would learn so much about God from my children. I thought I would be there to guide them into His heart. Little did I know that it would be they, who guided, me.


As they have grown over the years, so have I. My husband and I started out with behavior modification parenting. It was common to hear those around us talk of “breaking the will of the child”. Breaking the will seemed to be an accomplishment that would bring obedience. We set out to make that happen. I shudder even now as I think about it.


The sad reality is, we believed God was the same way. That is until He summoned us to enter into true, authentic relationship. In that place love is the motivating factor, not behavior modification.


I discovered something. God wasn’t after my will. He was after my heart. Obedience wasn’t the most important thing to Him, love was.


It was in that place I began to learn something new. God will never be disappointed with me. His heart aches to hold me close. In sin I separate myself from Him. He exposes it in order to bring me back into His embrace.



For He knows that my perception of what He thinks of me changes when I am captured by sin.



There is never guilt, condemnation or accusation. There is only, always, love, mercy and grace. He reveals to return me to where I was meant to be. My sin is not His focus. I am. He didn't come to make me perfect. He came to give me life. Sin destroys life.


When I entered the world of motherhood, I thought I would bring my babies into the world and love them. It all sounded so simplistic. Yet, it wasn’t. There were times when a child would stray off the path and look in other directions. Choices that cost them were made. I ached as I watched. I prayed, I waited to welcome them back in. All I wanted was to love them. Didn’t they know that? They judged my heart by the way they felt about themselves.


He thought He would bring me into this world and love me. I have often taken wrong turns. I’ve gotten off the beaten path. I looked for love in all the wrong places. Yet, He doesn’t see me covered in my sin. He sees me in a robe of righteousness. He does not separate from me when I choose to return to sin. He is not angered or even disappointed with me. His response is always the same. He pursues me to come back home.


Like the Father in the story of the Prodigal Son, He runs to meet me when I return to be held. For just as I could never turn away from my children because of my unending love, He cannot turn from me. His heart is filled with a love that cannot be measured or challenged. It is from everlasting to everlasting, not based on conditions or behavior.


He knew I would be imperfect. He knew that the lures of this world would pull me in. For when He created the earth, He knew my sins, past, present and future. He couldn’t bear for me to separate myself from Him. He devised a plan. It was His plan of rescue.


The cross has been misunderstood. It’s not about sin. It’s about love. Jesus’ blood was spilled to annihilate that which separated us from entering in as sons and daughters. Because of love He paid the ransom note to bring us back into the embrace of God. He came to restore us to life, to the full. It was the life He always meant for us before sin entered into mankind. Love was the motivating factor of the cross. His love for you.


There has never been a time when I did not love my children. There is absolutely nothing that they could do that would change that. I see beyond the choices they make. I love.


There will never be condemnation or disappointment with God. There is always and only love. Love welcomes you back. With arms wide open, it runs out to meet you, to restore you to where you were meant to be, in the arms of God.



Sin is not His focus. You are.

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

Free To Be

I sat in Starbucks with the beautiful teenage girl listening to her heart. She was telling me of how Jesus found her. I asked her what her greatest challenge in life was. I thought she might speak of her relationship with her mother, or a subject at school, or even knowing what to do with her life once high school ended. But it wasn’t so. Her greatest challenge was to pray for everyone she needed to pray for.


I felt the weight of her burden. I’ve carried the burden myself in years past. But Jesus has shown me a different way. It has breathed the breath of life into my soul. Maybe it would hers too.


Jesus is at the right hand of the father always interceding. At the same time He indwells me. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, Christ now lives in me. He’s not just someone who came to take away our sins, He now indwells each and every one of us. I don’t think we get that sometimes. But if we accepted His invitation for an exchanged life, it is our reality.


If Christ indwells us and is always interceding, then could it be that at all times prayer is going out of us while we are unaware?


I am convinced that everything is by His invitation. Where He wants me to join Him, He places a call, burden or desire on my heart. It doesn’t really require any effort. Instead it elicits a response.


There have been times when my heart has been so burdened for another that I couldn't get it off my mind. I’ve come to believe it is His invitation to join Him before the Father. It doesn’t require a discipline to pray, or even a list to remind myself. My heart is drawn to the point that I cannot NOT pray.


Which leads me to another point. What is prayer any ways? Is it sentences strung together that sound spiritual? Or could it be even an ache of the soul for another? Doesn’t He read our thoughts (Psalm 139:2)? Doesn’t He look on the heart of man? (I Samuel 16:7)


I’ve come to believe that Jesus reads our groans, tears, and thoughts; puts them into legible words and offers them to the Father. For at times, there are no words to be spoken.


There was a time when all I had was tears. The deep sobs wracked my body as I felt the intensity of life bearing down on me. There were no words to offer, only exhaustion. Yet, He came for me. Without a word spoken, Jesus came and lifted me up. It changed my paradigm. For I had been taught that we had to pray with words about everything. I hadn’t uttered a word, I didn’t have any. Yet Jesus read my tears and came.


I’ve come to believe that is His way. Sometimes there are words to speak. They easily pour out of me. Other times I have only groans and aches. And then there are the times I have only tears. Each one is an invitation. Each one represents a heart’s cry. Each time He responds.


The beauty is that we are free to be in the moment. As we rest in His life lived in and through us we can just be. His Spirit indwelling us will invite us. It will be a response instead of a requirement. He will burden our hearts with those things that He desires us to join Him in.


I could see it in her eyes as I spoke. She’d never heard anything like it.

I know, I hadn’t either. Complex Christianity has just been made simple. Be with God in the moments of life, knowing He will invite you into where He desires you to be. No more struggle and strain to “get ‘er done” we are now free to just be.

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

All He Has is Yours.

I love Bible stories. Not only for the story they tell but for the message that is hidden behind the scenes. The Bible is chocked full of narratives of dysfunctional families. Tucked inside each account you’ll discover there’s more to the story than meets the eye. God’s heart is written on the pages of the lives of men, women and children.


Take the Prodigal Son story for example. How many sons do you see in the story? For years I only saw two, the Prodigal Son, and the older brother. But now I see 3.



The Prodigal Son doesn't want to wait for his father to die in order to receive his inheritance. He wants it now. He thinks he will find life outside the father’s house. So he goes to his father, asks for his inheritance and leaves. Independent living is his path. He only needs the father for what He can give to him. He doesn’t really know the heart of his father.


He goes out, squanders all that he has and ends up working in the fields with pigs. It’s then he realizes that the life he's living isn't cutting it. He realizes that what he left behind was really all he needed. He heads back home hoping that his father will at least let him come back and work for him as a hired hand.


The Father’s been watching for him, hoping he would return. While the son is still a long way off, he sees him. He grabs up his royal robes in order to be able run to meet him. Filled with compassion, he throws his arms around his son and kisses him. He commands his servants to bring the best robe. He places it on his son’s shoulders, along with a ring on his finger and sandals for his feet. The son is restored to his place in the father’s house, where he belongs. The father calls for the fattened calf to be killed for a feast of celebration. He doesn’t care what his son has done or where he’s been, he only cares that the he has returned and is now in his embrace.


The second son, the older brother, enters into the story. He’s been with the father all along working hard in the fields. Performance and striving are his path. He wants to please his father. He wants a place in the father’s heart. He doesn’t see the value in himself. He hopes his work will be enough.


When he sees the treatment his brother receives, He’s enraged. After all his brother considered his father as good as dead and now he has the gall to return. Why is the father celebrating his return with a party? How come the father has never celebrated him with a party?


Comparison kicks in, bringing with it, resentment. All the older son can think about is how hard he has worked for the father, yet no feast has ever been given in his honor. He confronts his father and his father’s response is "Son, all I have has always been yours." The older brother has been so caught up in finding value through his hard work that he never entered in to live as a son who was loved and celebrated. Love had always been there waiting for him. He could not see.

The 3rd son in the story is the Son who is telling the story, Jesus. He knew the heart of the Father. He knew His place there. He didn’t have to do anything to earn the Father’s loved. He knew He was loved, therefore He lived love. His life is the invitation to us all. As the Father loved His Son, so we are loved.


Three sons paint the portrait of God here. The prodigal son didn’t see the value of the Father. The older brother didn’t see the value of himself. Jesus saw both. You can’t really live this life with God without both, but many do. Many do not see their place with the father. Many spend their time hoping that their good works will be enough. Comparison reveals that in a heart. For if you know your place there is no need to compare.


There is a place in the heart of God that you hold. It is yours and yours alone. It has nothing to do with what you do or don’t do. You belong because you are His offspring. All he has has always been yours. That blows me away. All that God has has been there waiting for you, and for me. The invitation has been extended. Will you enter into the Father's house into His embrace? Will you leave it all behind and just be loved? The feast awaits.

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

Image Courtsey of Creative MYK.com

For the Sake of Love

As I sorted through the mail the bill stood out. What happened? I thought this was taken care of. I opened it with hesitation, concerned about what I might find. But there it was in black and white. I had a zero balance. My debt was paid in full. I knew it had come for a reason. I heard His gentle whisper to my heart.

"Your debt is paid, Jewel." "You don't owe a thing."

For years I spent my efforts trying to pay a debt I didn't owe. I was trying to score points with a God who was no longer keeping score. The requirements that should have been placed on me were placed on Jesus. I am free to be. Why didn't I know that? How did I live so long and not know?

We are free to be. For many, the church has ruined this, you know. I read it all over the place. "Do more, give more, pray more, read your Bible more." How does all that fit in with Jesus' words, "It is finished."

What was finished? Was it just Jesus' life and sin? Could it be that what was finished was the separation of man from God's unconditional love? Could it be that there are no more conditions or requirements? Didn't Jesus leave us with the words: "I have made You known to them, and will continue to make You known in order that the love You have for me may be in them and I myself may be in them." (John 17:26) Isn't it really about living in love? If we lived loved wouldn't we do the things we are told to do anyways?

The more I know love, the more I am drawn to know and be with God. Obedience is not the top priority of God. Love is.

Adam and Eve lost sight of God's perfect love when they entered into sin. The path became blocked. But Jesus restored what was lost. He fulfilled the requirements of the law, bridging the cavern between earning and embracing. He now invites us to enter in and be loved. In living as ones who are loved, it will be a natural response to fulfill His story inside us.

When I used to think of the cross all I saw my sins. It was the emphasis after all. I was taught that because I was so bad Jesus had to leave His heavenly home and come to earth to take away my sins. But that's not the truth. "For God so loved the world that He sent His only Son." (John 3:16) It wasn't my sins that took Him to the cross. It was love. He loved me so deeply that He could not bear to have me separated from Him any longer. It was on the cross that He paid the ransom to free me from my captivity to sin. He restored what was once lost.

I love the movie "The Last of the Mohicans". One scene in particular speaks to me. Magua, the enemy is coming after Cora and her sister. He's seeking to kill them because he has an issue with their father. Nathaniel and the Mohicans are with them. He's fallen in love with Cora. Suddenly they discover that their ammunition is wet. In order to save Cora, Nathaniel will have to leave her. He tells her, "stay alive, I will find you." He jumps over the waterfall in order to rescue. It is love that drives Nathaniel forward. The look in His eyes, the passion on His face. He will not be stopped until she is free.

I love that scene because I know that is Jesus with me. He will not be stopped until I am free. My sin was not His focus. I was. My sins separated me from Him. He had to pay their debt in order to get to me.

He came that I might know love. "May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (John 17:23) Papa God has loved me even as He loves Jesus. It's stunning. What will I do with that? Will I question, doubt or believe? It is a life or death question.

He moved heaven and earth to get to me. He gave up His very life, not for the sake of sin, but for the sake of Me. The invitation is extended. We are invited to know how deeply and intimately we are loved.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with loving kindness" Jeremiah 31:3

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

Leading the Blind

As He walked across the stage to sit down the picture painted a thousand words in my mind. Scott McEntyre, a blind contestant on American Idol, had to be guided through every step. He had no choice. It was his life.

What if we were like Scott?

What if we were that dependent?

Would life look different?

If you could not see one step in front of you, would you wait on someone to guide you or would you feel your way on your own?

Jesus waited for His every step from the One who saw the big picture. He knew He was not to lean on His own understanding.

It's a lost art in this day and age. We are taught to figure things out, get it right, take care of ourselves. Self-reliance is affirmed in the world around us. Do we really have any clue what it means to be totally dependent on anyone?

My daughter is getting married. The truth is we don't have enough money to cover all the expenses. We know God will provide. We've already seen Him cover things in unexpected ways. She's happy to have what He has for her, but sometimes we both feel the pressure to figure it all out.

She came to talk about the wedding cake. It's easy for her to bring the costs to her dad and I, after all we look like the ones who are supposed to have answers. I could feel the tension mounting inside me to come up with a way to cover the expense, when Jesus spoke to me.

"Jewel, tell her to come to me with each detail of this wedding, first." "Tell her I have a cake picked out for her, one I will provide for." "Tell her to ask me to let her fall in love with the one I've chosen for her." "Tell her to give it to me to cover." "She's looking to you and David." "You are not her resource, I am." "Teach her to depend on Me." "Oh and by the way, you need to remember too."

Jesus knows the path of trust. He was not self-reliant. He didn't have to come up with the answers. He knew God had the answers to life around Him. He knew the Father had His needs figured out and would cover them. He didn't fret or struggle to make it all happen. He waited to be covered. He spoke what the Father told Him to speak. He went where the Father told Him to go. He said what the Father told Him to say. Dependence was a way of life for Him.

Why do I not think life should be the same for me?

He speaks to me again. "Do not lean on your own understanding, Jewel." "In all your ways acknowledge Me. "Look to Me in all things, big and small. I will direct your path. I never meant for you to lean on yourself. I made you lean on Me." "I've got your covered."

He knows the path. He knows the answers. He has it all cared for. Whose understanding will I lean on? Mine or His? One will carry the burden, the other will relieve it.

It's pretty simple to understand, yet hard to live. Jesus asks me to live what He lived. Rely on the Father alone. Don't look to myself. Don't try to figure things out.

In those moments of blindness my need for dependence is great. I cannot see. I have no choice. I must be led. Need invites dependence. Dependence leads to life.

He's familiar with all my ways. Every detail is cared for by the One who ordained my life. It's was the path of Jesus. It's the path He wants for me. Self-reliance will kill me, while dependence will bring me life. Jesus knew this. He chose the path of life. It is there I will find Him. It's where He walked. It's where He now waits to walk with me.

Laying aside my world's entanglements I choose to stand in my blindness and wait. I know He is there. I feel His touch. I hear His voice. Rest permeates my body as I lean into Him knowing; He's been waiting for me. He's got me covered.

What about you? Is your immediate response to turn to Him or to try to figure it out? Is dependence more familiar to you or self-reliance?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge (look to) Him and He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3: 5 & 6

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

image courtesy of about.com

You Are His Love Story

Once upon a time there was a beautiful love story. You were the delightful daughter. He was the loving Father. A villain entered the story and kidnapped you away. The villain told you lies about who you were. He tried to distort your beautiful love story, yet your face never left the Father’s gaze. He never stopped pursuing you. He sent a Rescuer who rescued you back. Now you are His.

In the beginning, in the shadow of the Trinity, you were created for love. You were created in love. You were brought here to be loved. At the very core of your existence you are the object of His great affection. Your life is a manifestation of the greatest love story ever told.

God had you in mind when He formed the earth. He made it for you. The beauty of the mountains, the depths of the sea, the blue skies that never end, sunrises and sunsets are gifts from His heart to yours. But you, dear one, you are His masterpiece. It is for you that Jesus came. All He has ever wanted was to love you. He relentlessly pursued you to bring you into His embrace. He dances over you. He sings over you. He is enthralled with your beauty

How does the mind grasp it all? How does one move forward to receive that gift that seems so costly? Shouldn’t there be some way to pay Him back? Shouldn’t it cost something? His love is a gift, free to all who will accept. He invites you into His life to be loved in ways beyond your comprehension. In the stillness of His embrace, you discover His life. It indwells you waiting to be offered through you, showing you the things that matter.

God is all about relationship. Relationship is about response. He has no expectations on you. His expectations were fulfilled by Christ. Because He has no expectations, you are never a disappointment to Him.

You have been lied to. Things have been stolen from you. But the Rescuer has come to restore all that was lost. Your sins have been forgiven, past, present and future. You will never be punished for them again. The Rescuer took the punishment of your sins upon HImself. He paid the price, your penalty is forgiven. With mercy and grace He takes you to the cross where forgiveness awaits. He reveals your sins to you to rescue you from them so that you will no longer bear their weight. He bore the weight so that you wouldn't have to. He reveals to restore. He yearns to free you from your captivity.

It is finished. Jesus came to restore all that has been lost. He came to show you the love of His Father. He wants you to believe and see yourself as He does. You are His Beloved.

You are not who you thought you were. You are so much more. He came to heal your broken heart and bind up your wounds. He will exchange your ashes for beauty. You are His treasured possession. He wants you to know.

He loved you first. You are here on this earth because He loves you. It was love that formed you and brought you here. He will move heaven and earth to come to you personally, individually, by name.

He has known you for a lifetime. He has loved you for all eternity. Your picture is engraved on His palms. You are His and He is Yours. Your life is His great love story. It is for you that He came.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

His Beauty, My Truth

It never ceases to amaze me how movies portray a picture of real life truths. I watched “Penelope” last night. It’s now on my “all-time favorites list”.

Penelope was born with a deformity as a result of a family curse. Her parents confined her to the house to protect her from ridicule. They believed the only way she would break free from the power of the curse was through marriage to one of her kind, someone of nobility. They had to find a man who would want her. Suitors were paraded in while she hid behind a secret window. Once she revealed herself they would run. As the story unfolds, Penelope decides to run away.

She’s done with possible suitors and rejection. She’s weary of her mother’s attempts to give her the life she’s always wanted for her. On her own, Penelope begins to discover who she is. She learns to love herself, the curse is broken and her true beauty is restored.

I love the picture this movie gives. We all come into this world exposed to the curse of sin, a result of the fall. While under sin’s influence people do things that hurt us. We believe things about ourselves that are not true. The result is, we live without seeing our true, God-given beauty. We want desperately to find value. We want to have some type of beauty and meaning to our lives. We find ourselves turning to people, things and even good Godly activities, in hopes that the power of our curse will be broken.

I turned to men. If I could just have a husband then maybe I would feel wanted, loved, accepted. I dated around until my husband was brought to me. Pieces of my heart were left scattered. By the time I married I was a broken woman, looking for someone to remove the curse of rejection. It wasn’t possible. No one could give me that. There was one scene in the movie that really hit me. One man sees Penelope’s inner beauty, but saw himself as a failure because he could not give her what she wanted.

He says, “I didn’t have the power to break the curse.” That was my husband. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remove the curse of rejection from me. He couldn’t give me the value I so longed for. I almost killed him with my need. Though he tried, my husband could not give me what God asked me to give to myself, His truth of who I am.The best line in the movie is, “It’s not the power of the curse, it’s the power you give the curse.”

Sin cursed us.

It tainted our identity.

But the curse was broken.

Jesus broke every one, yet so often we keep them alive. We’ve been given the newly transplanted heart of Christ. Our old man identity has been crucified with Him. It’s a new day. We can now choose what we will see and live.

The messages brought to us by our own sins and the sins of others are vanquished. We have a new lens to see through. He opens our eyes to His vision.

Will we give a look and see?

We keep the power of the curse alive when we look through eyes that are not His. He sees things differently from what we see. If we saw what He saw, there would be nothing to be insecure about. If we are going to see Him as He is, then we must see us as we are. We must see through His eyes and give ourselves what He asks us to give, love and acceptance.

Penelope broke the power the curse had over her when she accepted herself for who she was. That’s my story. No man could give me the value I so desperately wanted. I received it from God and began to give it to myself. Insecurities drop off when we choose to live in the truth of who God says we are. Sins, mistakes, feelings, do not define us. God does. I am not who I thought I was. I am more, so much more. So are you. Penelope had the power to break through and she didn’t know it, the power lay in loving herself.

It is finished, Jesus said.

All curses are broken.

We are free to live as ones forgiven and loved deeply by our God. He has loved you.

Will you now love yourself?

1. What do you see? Whose eyes are you looking through?

2. What do you say to yourself about you? Is it what He would say? If not, then why would you?

3. Do you ask Him what He sees in you? It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Galatians 5:1b

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

The Image Engraved

It’s been a year since I posted my first devotional here. I had never really considered myself a writer, though I knew I had always loved using words. Layers of lies that I believed about myself hid away parts of God’s story in me.

As His truth has come, more of who He made me to be has been uncovered. I was made to write. The sheer love of it brings pure delight to my soul. He has not only given me a desire of my heart. He engraved the desire into my heart to give to me. I see a revelation through an old inkwell that sits on my writing desk.

It was my Great Grandmother, Nannie’s. It’s made of crystal with a ornate silver lid. When I received it, years of tarnish marred it’s beauty. I pulled out the silver polish and began to strip away the layers, one by one. It took several coats to remove it all. As each one was wiped away, I began to see the patterned design in the silver begin to emerge. Eventually as the tarnish was stripped away I saw a beautifully scripted monogram.

The engraving identified my Nannie’s personal possession.

I am like that inkwell. I have something engraved on me. So do you.

We are the image bearers of the Most High God. He has taken His hand and not only formed us, but engraved onto us something unique, something that presents a picture of His life in us. We have been given gifts and talents, pictures of God that tell a story of His love. The climate of life’s circumstances have tarnished us, to the point that sometimes we don’t know what it is that is placed on us.

Who are we to Him?

Daughters of God, yes, His Beloved, yes, but what is it that He has engraved on us that bears His image? It’s the most amazing thing when I really consider it. I am made with my own monogram of God. He knew that as I entered into love it would all be unveiled. I wouldn’t have to search for it, it would emerge. He pursues me with His relentless love. He takes me down paths of removing the tarnish of lies that hold me captive. He reveals to me that it’s not my work that defines me, nor is it my sins. It is He who gives me value. It is He who defines who I am. He made me to love me.

As I embrace His thoughts towards me as my own, I enter into love at it’s finest. Love can only be entered into if I am a receptor. I can never earn it. Nothing I do will ever be enough to pay back what He offers to me. Part of receiving it is embracing it as my own. That means giving myself love, a much harder thing to do. I have lived too long under the shroud of not loving myself. When I refuse to give myself the love He offers, I cancel out His truths offered to me. I’ve come to the realization that insecurities are places where I am not believing the truth of what He says about me. I see my own reflection, poorly, as if looking in a mirror and seeing my flaws. But when I see what He sees I live as one who is loved, by Him, by myself. Layers of the tarnish are washed away and I begin to see that monogram of Him on my life unveil. Love removes the tarnish that life’s circumstances have brought. He takes my ashes and exchanges them for beauty. Love reveals His story etched on my life. We are the image bearers of the Most High God. He has engraved His name on our hearts.

We belong to Him.
We are loved.
Nothing can change that.
Now the question is, what will we do with ourselves? Will we dare to see, believe and tell ourselves what He sees?

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." II Corinthians 3:18

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

Leaving It All Behind

There’s something about the beauty and grace of a butterfly that captivates me. As they flitter about in all their splendor, you’d never know that they were once something else. A caterpillar is already a butterfly it just doesn’t know it. Inside it’s body is the dna of a butterfly. It matures into what is already true. A caterpillar is made to become, a butterfly. Clinging to a piece of silk it has woven, in an act of surrender, the caterpillar hangs its head down, sheds it’s skin and begins it’s transformation. Hibernating inside the protective shell, it becomes what it was designed to be. There is no straining to make something happen, no criteria to fulfill. There is only a relinquishing of who it was to become who it is.

This speaks something deep into my soul. Inside of me is the dna of Jesus. I am a daughter of the Most High God. His robe of righteousness covers me, inviting me to enter into my transformation. Like the butterfly, as I bow my head in submission, shed my old man, I can become what He always imagined me to be. I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live, I live by the faith of the Son of God who loves me and gave Himself for me. I don’t live by my faith. I am made to live by His.

It’s His faith inside me lived out that makes the difference. Jesus spoke one phrase to the disciples, “Come follow Me and I will make you......

It was His invitation to their metamorphosis. As they followed where He led, seeing what He saw, entering into what He entered into, they were transformed. In order to be transformed the disciples had to leave everything behind. Nothing of what they were went with them. Their identity was left behind. They found themselves utterly dependent on the only one who knew the plans. As they lived in the moments with Jesus, they were changed.

That’s the way it works. We leave behind the ways we have lived, walked, survived by our own efforts and enter into a place of resting in Him and His faith inside us. As we bow our heads in submission His work inside us, waiting to erupt, begins. We will never be able to change ourselves into who we are. The more we try the more we will hinder the transformation. We must leave all our efforts behind, pick up our lives and follow Him. Our identity is sealed inside us. As we surrender ourselves to follow, it’s then He begins to unveil what’s already there. We mature into who we were made to be. We have been given a complete new core identity.

We are not who we thought we were. We are more, so much more. We bear the image of the Most High God. We are His Beloved. We have been given the dna of His righteousness. Christ’s dna is now our dna. We cannot get more “godly” than we already are, because it's not our godliness, it's His. We are complete in Christ. We have all of Him. We are loved, totally and completely.

Our sin no longer defines us, nor do our efforts. He completes us. He perfect us. He makes us right. Will you dare to believe that whether you see it or feel it it’s true; you are a new creation, right now. Would you dare to believe that even though your behavior might not be godly, you are, because He is, in you. The dna is set.

Nothing can change that.

Will you enter in and be who He already knows you are? May you dare to believe that you are a new creation right now and that nothing more is required of you than that you enter into that “cocoon” of righteousness and be changed. With a twinkle in His eyes, a smile on His lips, and a motion of His hand Jesus says to you and to me, “Come follow me and I will make you....”

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.” II Corinthians 4:17

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

Broken & Spilled Out

Brokenness is a term tossed around in Christianity. The question often comes, "are you willing to be broken?" I don't know too many who would jump up with glee and say, "oh, yes, pick me!!!"

A few years back after sharing with some church members, a woman came to me and told me that she'd had a vision while I was talking. In the vision there was a clay pot, broken into pieces. She saw the hands of Jesus taking one piece at a time and putting the pot back together as it was meant to be. What did this mean? Was I entering into a time of brokenness or was I already in it? I felt pretty broken. Life had been hard.

I didn't realize until now what the picture really meant. I see something so precious that it rocks my world. God didn't break me. I was already broken. Instead of inviting me to be broken, He was telling me He was in the process of fixing my fractured identity.

The one who loves me relentlessly was inviting me to be put back together as I was always meant to be. As was necessary, He invited me to face my broken places in order to be healed. Would I enter in? Or would I continue on, crippled but functioning?

If a fractured bone hasn't healed correctly it hinders the limb from operating as designed. The doctor has no other choice but to go back into the original break and set things straight. That's a picture of true restoration. God sees me living in a crippled identity and wants to set things straight in me. He wants to take me back to that original picture of who He saw me to be and restore it.

I think of the woman who poured out the expensive perfume at Jesus' feet. The story behind the story is; cost didn't matter. She didn't count the cost, she realized her gain. What mattered to her, was surrender to the one who would redeem her past. Though ridiculed in the moment, she would forever be remembered for her display of being spilled out because of love.

He comes to redeem our pasts. Our pasts don't define us. Not in His book, therefore not in ours. Or at least that's how it supposed to be. Why is it that we keep account of things we've done or not done, as well as the things done to us when He doesn't? Those things become the ledger out of which life is lived. Until the debts are fully paid, forgotten, and removed from our record book, we still see life through debt colored glasses, totally oblivious that our vision is skewed.

Many say that the past is the past, there's no need to look back. I can't fully agree with that statement. Until the effects of the past have been renewed, we are still captive to them. If He invites you into a memory, then it's possible it's His invitation to set things straight. Ask Him, He'll show you if there's something that needs to be restored there.

He wants desperately to reveal places of captivity. Unforgiveness, lies, false identities, condemnation, guilt all secretly worm their way in. The deceiver convinces us that these things we believe are the truest things about us. Many of us don't even come close to realizing all that God sees in us.

So, He comes in all His glory, envelopes us in His arms of love, and offers to heal us. It's love that invites us to surrender to the "setting straight" process of our broken lives. A Love that cannot bear to see us walk any further, crippled by the past that has held us captive. He's the Redeemer of all things. Not just our sins, but our heartaches too.

It is said that on the cross when they pierced his side, blood and water flowed out. I've heard it said that His heart was pierced. Water and blood flowed out, fulfilling the sacrifice and cleansing my sin. He knows the pain of a broken heart. He entered into His so that He might heal mine and, yours. The invitation is not brokenness, but "fixing."

The picture that was given to me, I now give to you. He sees the broken pieces of your shattered identity lying on the ground. With tender eyes of love, His nail scarred hand reaches out taking one piece at a time. He begins to put them back where they were always meant to be. His love seals any cracks, filling in the gaps, and making all things new.

He came to heal the broken hearted, and bind up their wounds. Will you let Him bind up yours?

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. Isaiah 61: 1b

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings

You Never Walk Alone

Have you ever been in desperate places when God seemed to be deafeningly silent?

If you haven't at some point you most likely will. Even though the scriptures say God will never leave me or forsake me, sometimes the circumstances of life have left me feeling as if I am living in a relational ghost town. How can He be here with me when I cannot hear, feel or see Him?

Does He have Caller ID, sees it's me and refuses to pick up? Why does it feel like I am so alone if He is with me? I find answers hidden in the story of the two men walking on the road to Emmaus.

Jesus had died 2 days before and on the 3rd day there is talk of the tomb being empty. Two followers are walking along the road talking about all that has just happened when a "man" comes up and begins to walk with them. He listens as they talk and then, as if he doesn't know anything, begins to question them. They’re pretty surprised that this stranger doesn’t know what’s just happened, after all the whole city of Jerusalem knows. Didn’t he see the skies go black and feel the earthquake?

They try to explain what they have just witnessed.

They've just experienced a devastating blow. They thought the Messiah had come to save them from the Roman rule and now he’s dead.

Not only is He dead, His body has now been reported missing. They have no idea who is walking with them. Jesus' presence is hidden from them. Unbeknownst to them, as they wrestle with their faith, Jesus is walking right beside them.

They get to their destination and beg the man to stay with them. They sit down to a meal, and the "man" prays. At once their eyes are opened and they see. Though they were unaware, Jesus had been with them all along. Their words are priceless.

“Were not our hearts burning within us while He talked with us?”

Life has dished out it's hard knocks. Sometimes it has taken all that I've had within me to stay present. When God's voice became silent I discovered something. Hidden away inside me were questions. Where was God? Did He care? What is this all about? Have I done something to deserve this? Has He walked out on me? The silence of God comes, bringing with it a stillness that shuts down the outside noise, allowing the noise of our doubts and questions to rise up.

The hiddenness has a purpose, though I do not like the feel of it. It’s in the hiddenness that I, like those two men, have to come to the conclusion about what I believe, see and know.

How often when life isn’t what I thought it would be do I feel like He has left me? How often do I blame myself for where I am? “If I had just read my Bible more, or prayed more, maybe this wouldn’t have happened?” It was easy to tell myself that surely I had done something wrong.

Though He is always with me, there are times He hides His presence from me.

He allows the beliefs hidden down deep to rise up to the surface. It’s in those times that my faith is given a good dose of fertilizer to grow. As I grapple with what I feel verses what I know, something is transformed in me and I see. The times of silence do not mean He has left me. They mean that He is hidden in order for me to find what I really believe about Him and what I believe He thinks about me. He never leaves me or forsakes me.

He is always with me.

His Spirit is in me.

I cannot be detached from Him.

He walks beside me, though there are times I am oblivious. Hiddenness has it’s purpose. When the time is right He will reveal Himself to me once again, my eyes will be opened and then I will see. He never left me. He was here all along.

“I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

Papa God, thank you that you are with us. You never leave us or forsake us. Thank you that we can know in those times that we cannot feel you or hear from you, you are still there. You walk on the roads of life with us. Help us remember what is really true. You came, You died, You rose again so that we might live.

You can find Julie at her blog: Jewelz Sightings