True Growth

There are days when I look back upon the fervent, passionate spirituality of my youth and I wonder what has changed me so much since then. I don't remember feeling like such a sinner every day, all the time. I honestly wonder if I sinned less back then.




Could that be possible?





I tried so hard to follow God and I read my Bible regularly, as a matter of fact, more regularly than I do now. I memorized verses like crazy and I spent every spare moment in prayer meetings or Bible studies or at the very least hanging out with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I was pretty serious about this whole Christianity thing and I was sincere, but when I look back with longing, wondering if I'm moving forward or backward in my walk of faith, Jesus opens my eyes to see things a different way.


God, I wish I didn't struggle so much with sin.

Why do I keep screwing up?

I used to be a more spiritual person than I am now - I did everything You asked of me. I followed Your ways and I put Your first in my life. What happened? Am I growing in You, or just stagnating, or actually moving backwards? It just seems like instead of becoming more Christ-like, I'm becoming more of a sinner.

As a teenager, I was motivated to do what was right out of fear. I was afraid of getting caught and afraid of the disapproval of the adults in my life. I did whatever I could to avoid that feeling in my stomach that came whenever my behavior was less that acceptable. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was constantly seeking approval and everything I did was performance based.

I remember being pretty judgmental of those around me who didn't share my fear of authority as I lived out my version of perfect - at least on the outside. I knew that it was a sin to judge others, but I didn't count it as bad as some of the more visible, outward sins like drunkenness, promiscuity and the like.

My perfectionism has waned as I've grown up and realized that it's impossible to be perfect, so maybe it is true that I've allowed sins to slip into my life that weren't there before, but I think there's a bigger story here. I don't think it's my sinfulness that has increased over the years (OK, maybe I'll let God be the judge of that one though). I think it's my vision that has increased.

I'm looking for spiritual growth and I think it ought to look like me sinning less and me being more perfect. But what if that isn't what God is really looking for? Remember when Jesus told the crowds about who was really blessed in God's kingdom? I'll give you a hint: He didn't say "Blessed are the more perfect and the less sinful." He didn't applaud the pharisee whose prayer reminded everyone of how great he was. *

No, Jesus made it very clear that His kingdom is full of people who know they are broken, sinful and screwed up.

Well, maybe that's what true growth is, then. It's growing to see myself through His eyes and to know that I'm still messed up and I still need a savior. Growth is realizing how very broken I am and letting that knowledge draw me nearer to Christ.

*Of course God wants us to sin less, but I now realize how much I was trying to keep sin under control by my own strength instead of letting HIM be strong in my weakness. Now, I'm embracing this feeling of being a sinner who is incapable of self-improvement and leaning hard on HIM to change me. That's what it means to be a broken follower of Christ.

Bones

I'm not a big fan of the various versions of CSI or the more recent version of detective stories, "Bones."

I just don't enjoy seeing dismembered parts of people's bodies, even if I do realize that it's all special effects. By the time these investigators reach the scene of a crime, there is no doubt as to whether the person is dead or not. The only question they have to answer is who did it. Being the squeamish person I am, I wonder if there's a way for them to do that without all the blood, guts and bones.


That's why I cringed when I opened up my Bible for my daily reading and saw the heading, "Dry Bones." I'm not sure I would have been very excited had I been Ezekiel in the day when he found himself suddenly in the middle of a valley filled with bones. Just a little creepy if you ask me. And somehow he thinks it's important to note that the bones were very dry. These people could not have been more dead. I'm already having just a few hairs standing on end as I'm imagining this, but then I realize that this story is about my life and a real chill goes down my spine.


There are places in my heart that are dead - dry bones dead. I've put God on the back burner and gotten busy with other things, not watering my soul and as a result, there's a parched valley in my heart. I look around my community and I wonder if God sees a lot of dry bones around here. Oh sure, we look like we're alive as we chat about this and that, but deep down, we're void of real, true life. We're dry bones.


You see, when Ezekiel was smack dab in the middle of those piles of bones, his people, the Israelites, were right in the middle of their driest season ever. They had left God out of the equation for so long that other gods had taken prominence in their lives and as a result, they had lost their homeland. They were not only living separated from God, but they were also separated from their homes and everything that meant a normal "life" to them. They were void of all life - emotional, spiritual and physical.


But God had a message of hope to them even in their driest moment - when they could not have been more dead.

"Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are
dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.' Therefore prophesy and say to
them: 'This is what the Sovereign Lord says: O my people, I am going to open
your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of
Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your
graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will
live..." Ezekiel 37:11-14

So, God breathed on that valley of dry bones and they started to rattle and grow tendons and flesh and skin, turning into an army while Ezekiel watched. Now the chills had to be going down Ezekiel's spine. Bones growing flesh and coming to life right in front of your eyes - not exactly an everyday occurrence.

But then again, it's not exactly an everyday occurance for us to get new life either. God breathes and our dead places become alive, the dryness is replaced with muscles and flesh, the emptyness is filled with life.

Oh God, breathe new life on me, refresh my parched and weary soul. Breathe onto this community too and cause a revival in our dry land. We so desperately need life and only You can give it.

(Image of Death Valley, California...as dry as it gets!)

Yackity Yack

I talk and talk and talk all day long. I talk about quadratic equations, Geometry proofs and standard deviation. I talk about homework and accuracy and attention to details.

Yackity Yack

And when I'm done talking about math, I talk about responsibility and kindness to siblings, cleanliness and healthy eating habits. I talk about how the day went and I talk about trials and blessings. I talk about me and then I ask about his day too. Talk, talk, talk

Talk on its own is pretty meaningless though and I wonder how much of my talk is sweetened with love.


If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1



I know the Gong show hasn't been on TV for a very long time, but we still remember how silly that gong was when someone's act was going poorly. When I think of a gong - I think, that's ridiculous. When I blabber on and there's no love behind my words, I sound totally ridiculous.


Clanging cymbals can be pretty annoying and harsh on the ears after a while. There are nice as a song reaches its crescendo, but repeated clanging would get on my nerves very quickly! If I open my mouth and love is not my motivation, I'm just as annoying as a toddler banging on cymbals.

I'm beginning to think that if I don't want to sound ridiculous or annoying, I ought to just shut my mouth up tight. Unfortunately, that isn't a real solution, so instead I need to think about how I can monitor when I am speaking in love and when I'm not.

"I can't believe she would wear those shoes." GONG!!!

"I would never plan it that way." CRASH!

"He really doesn't know what he's talking about." BANG!

Well, now that I'm starting to get a headache, I think I'll sit back and just listen to someone esle talk for awhile.

Aha! Maybe that's the solution - listen up! Quiet down. Speak after you're spoken to. Those will be words spoken in love.

A New Day

Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you could just start over?

Sometimes it's because of mistakes made and the ensuing consequences, like when you gripe at your family on the way out the door in the morning. Or it might just be the result of living in a fallen world.

All I know is that some days I'm really glad when it's bedtime and I get to close the book on that "terrible horrible, very bad, no good day." And in the morning light, everything looks different.

Mostly it looks new. Each day we are given a fresh start, a new chance to make this day better than the one before.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions
never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is
good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait
quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
Lamentations 3:22- 36

When the robins are chirping outside of my window, the coffee is brewing and I'm easing into the day with a hot shower, I'm reminded of God's never ending forgiveness and mercy. He wipes the slate clean and welcomes me in a new day with new opportunities to seek Him and be filled with Him.

When I read this familiar verse in Lamentations this week, I realised that it comes right in the middle of a prophet mourning the suffering of Israel. The trials they were enduring were harsh and I'm sure that Jeremiah was wondering why God would allow such difficulties to come into his life. Right smack in the middle of his painful situation he saw that God was allowing trials, but would not allow him to be "consumed." Do you see how God is protecting you even in the middle of difficulties?

He didn't see God's salvation in the moment - instead he saw disappointment and the horrible consequences of disobedience. But, he knew that he could trust God to come through for him in the end. It is good to wait for God's salvation. Do you believe that God is planning a way to save you from your circumstances?

God's compassions never fail. He doesn't give up on us, even when we betray Him or disappoint Him. He remains always faithful and always loving, day by day looking for ways to turn our eyes in His direction. He just wants us to seek Him.

And each day is a new opportunity to trust in His goodness towards us, His faithfulness for us and His amazing compassion upon us.

Father, thank you for your amazing love and your mercies which refresh us each and every morning. Thank you for forgiveness and complete cleansing through Jesus. Thank you for a brand new day.

Finding Freedom

I live in America, where I am free to make all kinds of personal choices: where I live, how I relax, where I work, who I spend time with, how I worship, and more. Living in a culture of freedom, I find it difficult to understand a life of slavery. But I know that even today, many people still live in chains, whether literally or figuratively, with no control over their lives.

I remember the stories of the Hebrew slaves in Egypt over 4,000 years ago. God sent Moses to set them free from their lives of bondage to the Egyptians, but surprisingly they did not seem eager to escape. They lived by Pharaoh's bidding, but still they did not really want to leave the comfort of their chains homes.

This past week, I've been teaching the children at our church about Moses and the stories of the Exodus. The tales of pestilence (gnats, flies, frogs and locusts), illnesses (boils and dying livestock), miracles (the river turning to blood and 3 days of darkness) and natural disasters (the hail storm) send shivers up our spines. These days filled with plagues prepared both the Hebrews and the Egyptians for a pivotal moment in history.

The King of Egypt ignored God's commands and He underestimated God's power. The path that Pharaoh (and Egypt along with him) was a path that led to death. The path of disobedience always does.

Before God led His people out of Egypt and into the Promised Land, He tested their faith and made them answer a crucial question. Would they choose a life of chains and death or would they trust God and follow Him on a path to life and freedom? That night when the angel of death came throughout the country, the Hebrews put a sign upon each home that declared it as a home of life. The blood from the passover lamb signified trust in God's plan, obedience to His instructions, and a choice to walk in the path of life.

We may not completely understand what it was like to be slaves, not having a country of our own, living at the whim of another, but we have all lived in bondage.

Romans 6:17 - 18
But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

We don't see "Sin" chained up to our wrists, leading us around where we don't want to go, but we feel Sin's power in our lives. We know in our hearts that sometimes it's easier to do what we know is wrong and we are tugged away from God's path onto the path that leads to death. The Bible declares that we are FREE from the power of sin the moment we put ALL of our trust in Jesus. What a wonderful feeling - to know that sin no longer has any power or control over us.

When I realize this crucial fact of the gospel, I live a totally different life. I know sin is still out there, tempting me and luring me into it's trap, but sin no longer drags me along without my consent. I now have a choice - to walk in the path of life or to follow the path to death. And besides that, I have the power to conquer sin, because I have God living within me since I gave Him control of my life!

Is there a sin in your life (anger, bitterness, jealousy, sexual impurity, greed...) that seems to be wrapped around your soul with a tight dark knot?

Do you believe that God has the power to break those chains in your life? If you want to find freedom, surrender your life, every nook and cranny of your soul, to God and trust Him completely to have utter control. When we take this step of faith and stop struggling against sin, but allow God to conquer sin in us, we can find true freedom.

The Laws of Love

I am a teacher and therefore, a rule creator.

• Do not talk during the lesson.
• Don't write on the desks or anything other than paper, for that matter.
• Don't text during class and actually, it's better not to bring your cell phone to class at all.
• Be on time.
• Follow directions.
• No food or drinks in class.
• Don't EVER, EVER put gum under your desk!
• And the list goes on and on.

Rules, and laws and expectations are all very good tools to give us direction in our lives and to show us the way to live, but they lack the power to change hearts. If I follow all the rules, but have not love, I miss the mark.

But, I like rules. I like to make rules for myself, rules to govern our behavior at home and rules about what to eat and how much TV to watch and when to exercise. Inevitably this leads to disappointment since I can't possibly keep all the rules...not the ones God created and not even the ones I made up.

Jesus said that all the laws could be summarized as LOVE: love for God and love for the people in our lives.

If I know that (and I do!), then why is it so easy to fall into patterns of living by laws instead of by love? At the end of my life, I won't be judged by how clean my house was or how many ministry events I coordinated or how organized my school binders were, but by how I loved.

And when I dig deeper into the reason rules appeal to me more than this nebulous idea of living by love, I realize my problem is selfishness. Following the rules is sometimes easier to do because it serves my self interest of looking like a good person who has it all together. Love is messier and it requires me to die to my interests and put someone else's interests first.

The law of love demands that I stop thinking about what I want to do and how I want to appear, because all of my attention is on someone else and their needs. It shames me to realize how many of my prayers are about my self-improvement projects and how few are about the concerns of others. This self-centered attitude runs deep and I will not get rid of it by following some new set of rules, but only by taking the time and effort to give my love to another.

All of my laws about life will not make me a better person, but if I focused on someone else for a little while, that just might be life changing.

Something to think about:
*What is one practical way you can show love to someone this week?

*As you come to God in prayer today, who might He be asking you to pray for?

Cat Heaven

An innocent conversation in the back of the car had piqued my curiosity. My littlest girl was telling her older sister that our cat, Oreo, would go to heaven if he got hit by a car. She began to describe cat heaven as a place where cats would live in luxury and run about in freedom. The older, more "knowledgeable" sister started to put her straight in a hurry though.


"What makes you so sure he (the cat, that is) knows Jesus? When have you seen him reading His Bible? Have you ever seen his paws clasped in prayer?" she questioned with a bit of a giggle.


The pride in this mother's breast began to swell at her excellent knowledge of the gospel until I realized one small flaw. Yes, my daughter rightly understood that not everyone will go to heaven carte blanche because heaven is reserved for those who belong to the family of God. Yes, she was correct in assuming that only those who know Jesus as personal savior belong in that family. She even recognized that faith can be seen in the fruit of our actions and a relationship with Jesus is lived out in daily decisions.


So, where did she go wrong? Well, before I had a chance to say anything, she caught herself. From my seat up front, I peered into the rear view mirror to see her expression as I heard the conversation developing. She knotted her eyebrows together and then smiled in triumph as she repeated a well learned truth: "Everything in all of creation praises His name. Right Mom?"


Right, dear. So, the decision about the cat's eternal destiny was settled. I realized after the fact that we are often just like my sweet daughter. We know the truth and we know the way to heaven so we can be quick to point out when someone doesn't appear to belong to Christ. We sometimes think we can look around the room and point out those who will be in heaven one day, based upon their pious actions. But, the truth is, we don't know the heart of the person.


Only God knows our hearts and only He has the authority to judge. He will the One deciding the eternal fate of each individual on judgement day. And I, for one, am glad that He has that responsibility instead of me. I'd rather be the one telling people how great heaven is and how marvelous it is to know the Creator of that wonderful place.

Romans 14:4 "Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he
stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand."

*Are you praying for someone to come to know Jesus? Keep praying!

*Are you unsure of where you'll be after you die? Check out this great site for some answers.

Can't wait to see you all there someday!

The Scarlet Thread

She had a choice. Everyone around her seemed unaware that their sinful lifestyles had brought them to this day of consequences crushing in upon their cushy lives. The fear was palpable in the air around the city as they realized that forces greater than they had ever seen were hovering outside their doorstep. They all had a choice that day. But, fear of destruction and even death was not enough to change their hearts from their rebellious nature.

She was, however, different. She stood out from the crowd. Not because of her pure unadulterated lifestyle, but because of her heart. She was a sinner just like everyone around her, but she made a choice to overcome her fears, to give in to God, and to trust Him with her life.

You probably know her story from childhood songs about a courageous man named Joshua and his conquest of the walled in city of Jericho. The song we sing with lusty voices as we march around the table in our living rooms with hand made construction paper horns blown at regular intervals doesn't say much about the brave woman who somehow survived the onslaught of that day of destruction. Why would a prostitute named Rahab be worthy of saving (and consequently, of remembering)?

She alone stood alive and well on the rubble of her once great city because she alone took the courageous step of faith that saved her life. She rescued the Hebrew spies and tied a scarlet thread in her window so they might remember to spare her life in return. Yes, it was a life for a life. She saved their lives and they saved hers in return. Isn't it like that with Jesus too?

We give our lives to Him because He gave His life so completely for us.

Why would God save Rahab? Because He looks around the whole world seeking for hearts that are sincerely dedicated to Him. God knows the heart of even a prostitute and sees her desire to serve Him through all the outer wrappings of her life. God is still seeking for hearts that are fully committed to Him, for hearts with a scarlet thread wrapped around them like a gift to the King.

2 Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to
strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

Do you remember that moment in your life when everything was crashing down around you, fear prevailed, and your sense of unworthiness as a sinner almost made it impossible to step out in faith?

I know we all have different stories to tell (and won't it be fun to hear them all someday?), but there's a common thread that runs through each of our lives and it's tied back to that crucial moment of decision. So, what's your scarlet thread?

For me, it was the day I decided that being a nerd, an unaccepted and misunderstood teenager was worth it if I knew I had God's approval and acceptance. But my scarlet thread went back even further into my childhood when I realized that the God of the Universe cared about me and loved me more than I could imagine. That was the first day I took baby steps of faith, trusting in Jesus to save me from my sinful nature and draw me into His embrace of grace and compassion.

But the scarlet thread of redemption and salvation didn't end in my childhood or in that moment of decision. It weaves it's way through my life day by day as I continually choose to give my life over moment by moment to Jesus and as I fully commit my heart to Him.

Action Point:

*Take just a few minutes to trace the scarlet thread through your life. Which moments tested your faith and when did you learn to lean harder upon God's promises? Where do you look back on your life and see God's hand rescuing you from the rubble and where do you see a heart that is fully committed to Him? Draw a heart with a winding thread around it and mark these momentous events on there as a visual reminder of God's hand of salvation throughout your life.

Cutting Corners

It started out as a rationalization, an explanation, a little recreating of the truth so I wouldn't look so bad. It wasn't that big of a deal, really. Just a little fudging. God forgives everything anyway, right? And besides, He would understand why I needed to keep that mistake a secret or hide those items from snooping eyes.

But, the choices to use little exaggerations or hidden truths started turning into a pattern of speech. Lies became easier to tell and harder to catch before they escaped my lips. That's when I read the story of Cain and Abel with fresh eyes.

Genesis 4:7 "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if

you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have

you, but you must master it."

Cain's "sin" always used to puzzle me because it didn't seem like he really did anything wrong. He gave a sacrifice to the Lord just like his brother did, so why was God displeased with him? He wasn't being outright disobedient or breaking the rules; he was really just cutting corners, sliding in at the last second with the right answer.

And God made a big, BIG deal out of that.

Why?

God knows the human heart better than any psychologist or sociologist. He knows that a little adjustment on His expectations opens the door a crack to let sin in and then that crack in the door widens until sin begins to settle into our hearts and take control.

A little white lie is a step toward the path of compulsive lying.

A glance at the scrambled pornography opens the door to unclean thinking.

An inappropriate TV program leads to an acceptance of immoral behavior.

Our thinking becomes muddled by the world and pretty soon our behavior follows suit with little choices in our everyday lives. Those seemingly little choices add up and before we realize it, we don't see black as black anymore or white as white, because the world has turned grey.

It doesn't happen overnight, but over the course of years and through the daily small decisions that we make - to be 100% devoted to God's ways or to cut corners and give a piece of ourselves to sin.

As my little four year old likes to sing, "Oh be careful little eyes what you see...for the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little eyes what you see."

Thoughts to Ponder:

1. What "corners" have you been cutting lately? White lies, tv viewing, emotional relationships with the opposite sex, harsh words with your children...

2. Talk honestly, being brutally open with God and tell Him you are done with giving Him your second best and you're ready to give Him your all.

Following Him,

I Spy...

In the van on the way to church, the kids love to play a little guessing game. "I spy with my little eye something blue (or red, or green, or orange...)." They try to guess whether the item is in the van or outside and this simple game keeps their eyes and minds occupied for quite a while.

One day, when they tired of finding random objects, I suggested that we try to find things that reminded us of God. The game became a new way to seek Jesus as we looked for His traces in everything around us.

I spy Jesus...in that beautiful sunset.
I spy God in the sparkly frost covered road.
I spy the Lord in your joy-filled face.

I spy God in that person who helped us out of the ditch.
I spy Jesus in you when you hug me so tightly I think I might burst.

As it turns out, spying God all around us was pretty easy to do.

I was recently reminded that this is what the apostle Paul meant:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

"I spy" isn't just a game for children, but for all us who seem to lose sight of God in the midst of our busy days.

When things start to get overwhelming, maybe we need to pause and play a game of "I spy."

When discouragement starts to creep in, we need to take a minute to play "I spy."

When temptation hits, the way out may be a simple game of "I spy."

If we just keep our eyes open, God isn't hard to find at all.

The Only Way to a New Start

I tore down the ratty, marked-up calendar and replaced it with a fresh clean one for 2009. Just like everyone else in America, I celebrated the end of 2008 last night and welcomed in a brand new year filled with fresh hopes and new resolutions. The financial sector is ready for a new year and so are the politicians. Dieters and smokers embrace the New Year as an opportunity to knock those bad habits, certain that THIS time around they’ll do a better job of sticking to their resolutions.

A new start seems to bring out the best in all of us, the best intentions, that is. This year, I’ll be a more loving wife. This year, I’ll eat healthy, exercise regularly and cut out caffeine. This year, I’ll stop yelling at the kids or procrastinating at work, or being late everywhere I go. This year, I’ll make a good healthy dinner every night, watch less television, and read more educational books.

This year, I’ll be a better person.

Except, it doesn’t work that way. No matter how hard we try to muster up the strength, pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, and discipline ourselves into submission, we run up against the same walls each year. January starts out looking good, but by February, we’ve already forgotten our resolutions and given up the battle altogether.

But, I really do want to be a better person this year than I was last year. So, is there any hope for me? I relate so deeply to the words of the song from Casting Crown’s CD, The Altar and the Door,

Lord, this time I’ll make it right, here at the altar I lay my life –
Your kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I….
Cry, like so many times before – But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor,
Oh Lord – I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through – Between the altar and the door.

Great intentions become great disappointments, as Romans 7 well documents. I want to be who God created me to be, but I keep getting in the way. Then, I open up the Word of truth and see that there is hope for us all and there is a way to make this year better than the one before, but it’s not the way I imagined.

Romans 3:21-24
But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made
known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God
comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference,
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely
by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in
me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me
and gave himself for me.

Oh Lord, that 2009 would be a year where I experience more of Your grace, a year where I walk in faith, a year where Your righteousness is known in me. May each new day bring reminders that I am crucified with You and that You live through me.

Points to Ponder:
1. In what ways do you want to be a “better person” this year?
2. What does it look like to die to self and let Christ live in you? How do you do that practically?
3. Instead of focusing on how you can be better this year, make this a year to allow Christ to live through you, by consciously giving Him more of your life.

Come visit me...

No Condemnation

I cleaned up the kitchen mess, kissed the kids goodnight and headed off to church to meet with other church leaders for our quarterly meeting. I got out my pen to take notes and realized I hadn't brought my Bible. I chided myself inwardly, thinking, "What kind of spiritual leader can I be?" I hadn't read the Bible much that week and I felt a nagging guilty feeling for not doing more of my ministry responsibilities either.

The pastor began to speak about the traits that make a resilient leader and the sense of failure and condemnation began to grow and burn in my chest. You know, that hollow feeling you get when you realize you don't measure up? The emptiness that reminds you that you're still a great sinner and that you are not the holy person you want to be?

"Everyone must notice this sin (critical spirit, gossip, lying, you name it...)in me... God must be so disappointed in me....I'm such a terrible Christian " and on and on went my thoughts.

As I sorted through my feelings later that night, I turned to God's Word for truth.

Romans 12:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

How is it, then, that I get so caught up in these emotions of condemnation?

And how do I know if God is convicting me of sin of which I need to repent or whether it's something that just false condemnation? How do I know the difference?

As I searched the Scriptures and received the counsel of godly men, I came to understand a few ways to distinguish between the condemnation of Satan and the conviction of God.

God's conviction is always very precise. He doesn't convict me of being a "bad" person, but He convicts me of specific sins. The enemy, who is called our accuser, only deals in generalities. Satan points his finger at me and calls me names but he doesn't cut deep to the real sin issues in my heart. Only God does that.

As I sorted through my thoughts after that meeting, I realized that some of what I heard was God's conviction, His gentle, kind hand of correction upon my heart. It caused me to repent, to seek Him for change in my life. But some of the other feelings I had that night were clearly not from God. The general sense of failure and hopelessness as a sinner was not from God, but from the enemy.

There is a great sense of peace in knowing that in Christ, there is no longer any condemnation for my sin. There is only forgiveness, grace and the hope of healing.
Action Points:

1. Have you been weighed down by a feeling of condemnation? What Scriptures can you cling to this week as assurances of hope and forgiveness?

2. Test your feelings of condemnation against the truth of Romans 8:1. Memorize this verse to stand up against the lies and accusations of Satan in your life.


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Life Vacuums

We were having a typical Bible study conversation this morning in our 20’s and 30’s Sunday morning class when my friend, a spunky farm wife/volleyball coach, said “Sometimes Life Vacuums” and continued on with her train of thought as if we all spoke this way.

Everyone acted as if they completely understood her, because no one had the guts to admit they had never heard this expression before. “What does Vacuuming have to do with the Bible?” one member finally asked. “You know, the action a vacuum makes…that’s how life is sometimes.”

I have to agree with my friend and her goofy expression; there are days when life really vacuums. These days, turning on the news vacuums all my hope and seeing discouraging results in my workplace vacuums my dreams. Disappointment and failure can vacuum away my joy and there are days when my vitality is vacuumed up by depression and sadness.

You know, the days when your kids don’t seem to know what it means to obey, or clean up, or treat each other with kindness. The days when everything you touch seems to fall apart (or burn up…if you’re trying to cook supper). The days when the cupboards are bare, the laundry basket full and your brain feels like jello. The days when all of your efforts at any type of work seems totally futile. Those are the kind of days that really vacuum.

During those times when it feels like circumstances are sucking the life out of me, I often wonder if God cares. Is He paying attention to these challenges I’m facing? Does He even notice what a terrible day I’ve just had? And then, I open up my Bible and read:

Isaiah 40: 27

Why do you say, O Jacob,

and complain, O Israel,

"My way is hidden from the LORD;

my cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Yes, He knows that life can vacuum up our strength and our hope but He promises to renew us if only we will trust in Him. He’s with us in those vacuuming days; He never leaves our side and He’s much bigger than any problem we’re facing.

Thoughts to Ponder:

1. What challenges are you facing right now that are threatening to suck away your hope or your joy?

2. Bring God into the midst of your days that “vacuum” and ask Him to renew your strength as you rely on Him.



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Our Will Be Done

It's bedtime and three pairs of knees hit the floor in their snuggly footie pajamas. They fold their hands and bow their heads like a Norman Rockwell picture and begin to recite the Lord's prayer:

Our Father, Who art in heaven

Hallowed be Thy name

My kingdom come

Our will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Wait a minute? That's not quite right, is it? As I laugh at my children's inability to distinguish between the words Your and our or the phrases Thy will and my will, I realize I sometimes pray the same way.

Dear Lord, this is what I want and could You please do it quickly? Lord, please let me be in control of this situation, ok? Please solve this problem and change me into a super Christian overnight. Please let me get a promotion and make my children rise up and call me blessed.

Please, dear Lord, let MY will be done.

When Jesus first shared that prayer with his disciples, it was in answer to their desire to learn how to pray. I want to learn how to pray the way Jesus prayed; to make mountains move, storms cease and lame men walk again. As it turns out, Jesus' way of praying is quite different from the pattern we often follow. He suggested that prayer is a place to turn our hearts around and align ourselves with the will of the Father.

Actually, prayer is the way that we usher in God's kingdom on this earth. If we want to see what heaven looks like, we have to begin by asking God to do things HIS way. It changes everything when we see prayer as an opportunity to get involved with God's will, to become a part of His kingdom and to learn to see things from His point of view.

We begin to follow Jesus' example when we submit our requests to God and trust that His will will be done and His kingdom will come.

Put it into Practice:

*Pray through the Lord's prayer today and pause after each phrase, soaking in the meaning of those words.

*Ask God to reveal His will to you....especially about those pressing prayer requests that you keep bringing to Him.

*Submit your concerns to God this morning, trusting that God will do what is best.

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STUNG

The four kids, plus me, walked down to the little bridge along the gravel ATV trail. They had begged to go down there to throw rocks into the creek and I had entertained them because a little walk sounded nice. The girls chased each other down the path while the boy stopped every few seconds for some new treasure: a rock shaped like an eyeball, a dead cricket, and a stick to wave around.

Suddenly, my eldest daughter came screaming down the bridge, waving her arms around her head and running as fast as if she were in an Olympic track meet. What could have caused such a reaction? Hornets. As she ran past me, I asked her stop so I could see the damage, but she wouldn’t slow down to explain that she was getting stung.


At first, I thought she had been stung once, then she pointed out three spots and only after closer inspection at home did I realize she had been stung five times. No wonder she was running like the wind to escape that pain.

I’ve seen people running away from church with that same speed; they would do anything to get away. They’ve been stung by someone’s careless words. Perhaps we didn’t mean to say something that would cause pain, but many of our words can sting and cause pain, swelling and severe discomfort to those listening.

When we make a cutting remark about how rude it is to smoke in the church parking lot, not realizing that the woman behind us is struggling to break the habit – it stings. Or when we criticize the painting in the gym, trying to be “constructive,” but crushing the person who worked so hard on that job – it stings. It really stings when we assume that someone is living in sin because of the circumstances they are facing. And often, people will be stung not just once, or even just twice, but multiple times before they walk (or run) away with tears running down their face.

Matthew 12:36
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

This is one of those verses that is hard to swallow. Every.single.word??? Wow, that’s kind of scary, if I really think about it. I say things all the time without thinking much about it, but when I read this Scripture, I realize I must not be so careless with my words.


Words flying about randomly can sting. And that’s not what I want to happen with my words. I guess I need to be more careful about my words so that they don’t cause damage along the way.

The Simplicity of Christ

In a day and age of entertainment, it’s easy to get caught up making “perfect” presentations in everything from children’s birthday parties to the flowers on our lawns. Did everyone like the way I decorated for the missions’ banquet or the dessert I brought for potluck?

Not me. I can’t pull it off. I’m just not very good at making things look perfect because just as soon as I plan the best birthday party ever, it rains or if I’ve got a beautiful dessert planned for company, I burn it. Whenever I aim for a perfect presentation, I end up wanting to poke my eyes out in the process. Or pull out all my hair. Or scream, or end up in a puddle of tears.

As I recently coordinated an event for children at church, I became frazzled and harried over the details of presentation. Painting sets, gathering fun supplies and finding volunteers began to overtake the true purpose of the event: telling kids about Jesus.

Jesus was quick to remind me that He is not a pomp and circumstance kind of guy. He walked on dirty roads and wore a simple robe. He didn’t even have a yard to show off to the neighbors, so why was I worrying about all these things?

When Jesus went to Mary and Martha’s house that memorable day in Bethany, He came to share His life with them. Martha got caught up in trying to please her Lord with perfect presentation, but Mary was content just being in His presence.

When Martha finally built up to the point of poking-her-eyes-out frustration, she blurted out “this isn’t fair!” Jesus gently reminded her of His simplicity that day too.

You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her.
Luke 10:41-42

Jesus is simple: He doesn’t care about presentation, He cares about the heart. He just wants ONE thing from us. We get all caught up in the million things we have to do for God each day. We’re trying to check them all off our list so we can be sure to be a good Christian, but He told us only ONE thing is necessary.

He wants our attention and how can He get it if we are focused on making a great presentation to the neighbors? He just wants one thing from me: me. Now that’s simple. It’s so easy to forget that Christianity boils down to a simple loving relationship between us and our savior.

Points for Action:
1. Sit down at Jesus’ feet today, just like Mary did, and soak up His presence. Don’t say a word, but listen to His loving voice.

2. Are there too many things on your plate that are taking the focus off of Jesus’ simplicity? Is there anything God might ask you to pare back so you can focus on Him more fully?


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A New Name

A New Name

I've just returned from an anniversary vacation in the Black Hills of South Dakota. My husband and I set up our camp in the shadow of the cliffs where the movie "Dances with Wolves" was filmed. The red and white limestone rose high above our heads reminding us of that defining moment in the movie: when Wind in his hair shouts from the top of the cliff that he is a true friend to Dances with wolves (Kevin Costner's character). So, of course, we had watch the movie again to enjoy the scenery and the poignant story set in a tumultuous time in history.

In the movie, John Dunbar was assigned to a post in the middle of Dakota territory all alone. Over the course of time, he meets the Sioux people and becomes friends with them. He eventually becomes a part of their community, taking on a Sioux name and living among them.

Because of his friendship with the Native people, he was considered a traitor and hunted down by the army. As he smoked his pipe in the buffalo tent of the tribe's chief, he expressed his concern for all of the people and for his own life. The Sioux chief replied, "The white man the soldiers are looking for no longer exists. Now there is only a Sioux named Dances With Wolves." He himself admitted that he never really knew who John Dunbar was, but after hearing his Sioux name called out over and over, he understood who he really was.

Revelation 2:17 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says
to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I
will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to
him who receives it.

I wonder if it will be like that when we get to heaven. We are promised a new name and we belong to a new people (a unique kingdom). One day we will hear our names called out and we will recognize them because they will define us. I don't know what those names will sound like but here are a few ideas:

daughter of the king, beloved, child of God, pure, innocent, lovely...

You are no longer that person who used to live in sin. You are no longer that woman of guilt and shame. You are no longer named by your failures or past mistakes. You have a new name and God is hiding it on His heart until He meets with you face to face.

Just like John Dunbar, we have undergone a transformation and changed not only our names, but also our allegiance from one nation to another. We no longer belong to this world, but instead look forward to our eternal home while realizing we are just traveling through. We look forward to resting one day in our TRUE home.

I think God shouts out from the top of the cliffs, "Daughter of mine, I am your friend. I will always be your friend. Do you hear me?"


Questions for Reflection:

*What are some names that God gave to people in the Bible? If you have a study Bible, you can find out that names almost always have a meaning in Scripture.

*Does your name have any personal meaning? Use a search engine to find out the history of your name. It might surprise you.

*What do you think God might name you now that you have joined His people? Would He call you, "Sings My Praises," or "Shares My Joy" or perhaps "Shines my Light"?

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Be Still and Know...

Be still, and know that I am God…”
Psalm 46:10a NIV

The sunshine peeked through the curtains and the smell of percolating coffee wafted into my room. As I rose, I checked the clock: 6:04. Good. I would have time to read and study God’s Word before the kids got up. I curled up on the corner of the couch with my mug of coffee, journal, highlighters, and worn Bible. This was my favorite time of the day. A time to meditate upon God’s truth and soak in His words in the silence of the morning.

“The name of the Lord is…” interrupted by a snuggly pajama-clad boy. I tried to continue reading but soon he wanted a cup of juice, a blankie, an apple, a book…I had imagined a morning spent like a monk in solitude, but instead it was the morning of a menial servant. How could I spend my mornings becoming a deeply spiritual person if my kids kept getting in the way?!? My oh-so-godly attitude turned sour.

Brother Lawrence (a seventeenth century monk) spoke about practicing the presence of God – a practical kind of meditation upon God’s truth. He found God in peeling potatoes and washing dishes. Could my relationship with Jesus be more static than just reading from the Bible and bowing my head?

I have a tendency to think that if something is not blatantly spiritual, it is not worthwhile. How could potato peeling be spiritual? Or changing dirty diapers? How in the world am I supposed to hear the voice of the Lord over the ruckus of a full household? I have mistakenly assigned different values to different tasks in my daily routine. Quiet time: spiritual. Washing dishes: not so much. Preparing my Bible study: godly. Cleaning toilets: anawfulchoreImustperform with no intrinsic value.

I compartmentalized my life into spiritual and non-spiritual, but Jesus never did. He called us to follow His example as a servant – letting God saturate every part of His life. Could I focus on eternal things while I perform mundane tasks? I discovered that acts of service provide an inner silence and solitude because worries drain out of my mind as I focus on a menial task.


Unlike a monk, I cannot escape the worries of this world to seek solitude. Meditation for me as a mommy may look different from what I expected. Meditation means to focus and concentrate on truth. As I wash the dishes, I look out the window and see my children chasing birds in the backyard. I meditate on how God chases us until we surrender to His love.

Scrubbing off the remainders of burnt cookies, I meditate on God’s cleansing power to eradicate my mistakes. As I do my menial chores each day, could I concentrate on making it a spiritual moment by singing praise songs, reciting favorite verses or praying aloud?

Even though I imagine a monk sequestered in a cloister has more time for silence and solitude, a “Mommy Monk” can focus on God’s presence in every moment of an often-chaotic life. To begin, I invite God to speak to me in the daily activities of life. I pray that the eyes of my heart might be open to see the depth of His love for me each moment of my day.

A “Mommy Monk” may not lead a quiet lifestyle, but her heart is quieted before the Lord. Silence may only be temporary but meditation can be unceasing.

Psalm 1:2
“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night.”

Questions for meditation:

1. Have you ever deemed something as unspiritual and then later discovered just how spiritual it could be?

2. What are some ways that you have adapted to in order to meditate on His Word?


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