He Knows My Name

Can you imagine going into labor almost 6 weeks early and then when you finally fully come around, you have not one baby but two? That's what happened to my mother. We were born at a time with twins were a rarity. Until we were in the fifth grade, we were the only twins in our elementary school. If I remember correctly, we were only one of three sets of twins in my high school.

Some twins out grow some of their identicalness. That has not been the case for us. Last fall, she went to the Hearts at Home Conference in Grand Rapids, MI. One of my best friends is the founder and several people from my church went to help out. My sister had person after person greet her with, "Amy, I didn't know you were going to be here!" She got tired of explaining that she was not who they thought she was.

As a child, we were both fairly shy and quiet. To our horror, when we would go out somewhere, people would stare and point and say, "Oh, look at the twins." It made us want to sink beneath the table.

Being a twin became my primary identity. People couldn't tells us apart, so they opted for "the twins" and things like "whichever one you are." I felt like no one apart from the pair. Add to this the fact that my family was abusive. We learned that it was better to be invisible than seen.

Over the years I've realized that this "one of a pair/many" mindset has played out in my faith. I took John 3:16 (NIV) to heart:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

For God so loved the world. My faith had kind of global feel it. Yes, I was loved and accepted but only because I was one of the masses.

Several years ago I went through a very rough patch. While I still believe in God, I decided not to go to church, not to make any more effort in my relationship with Him. I felt with the things that had happened, He had deserted me.

After 9 miserable months, I was even more desperate. I showed up on the doorstep of my current church. I was befriended and loved on, but I remained wary of God. Each week when communion was passed, I let it pass me by. There was a fear that I had in some way "snuck in the back door" and that I could only stay as long as God didn't notice me.

This went on for about 6 months. I do not remember what the pastor was preaching on, but one Sunday I had the overwhelming urge to take communion again. I whispered to my friend, "If I take communion do you think God wills zap me?" I honestly imagined a lightening bolt from heaven. "No," she assured me. And then, she said, "Let me serve it to you." In those precious moments, God began to reveal to me that he indeed saw me and loved me.

Recently, I went to Proverbs 31's She Speaks conference. I had the privilege of meeting many of the friends I've made in blogland. I was surprised how many people recognized me by name and threw their arms around me in delight. I still tend to think of myself as "overlooked" or "uninteresting." Those few days were a precious reminder that not only the lovely women I met saw me, the God of the universe sees me. He delights over me. He knows my name.

Isaiah 43:1 says the following:

But now, this is what the Lord says -- he who formed you, O Israel; "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.

Praise God, that He knows my name and He knows yours as well!

• Which do you relate more to, the global thought of God loving you or the personal thought of Him knowing your name?
• What do you think is behind your feeling that way?
• How can knowing God knows your name and has redeemed you change your perspective today?

God's Work In Progress,

This year I'm focusing on hope. I'd love for you to visit my personal blog: