Running Home

I'd like to share a recent newspaper column that I wrote which seems to have touched the hearts of several people. The tone may be a little more formal than usual and the metaphor familiar and simple, but it was written for an audience of both believers and nonbelievers. So this is what's on my heart this month, and it is the column that has meant the most to me personally. I hope it touches you, too.

Recently I lost a dear friend and high school classmate to cancer.

Since Jim was a world-class runner, I often think about him while running.

The day after his funeral, I decided to go for a run but dreaded it because I hadn’t run in more than a week and knew it would be difficult.

I started strong, but with each mile it grew more difficult to understand how Jim or any human could endure an ultra marathon, 50 miles.

At mile 5 I was enjoying all the beauty around me, but by mile 8, I doubted I could finish. By mile 9, I was gasping, my gait slowed to a limp, and my hips hurt so badly I wanted to cry. I just kept thinking, “Go to the next telephone pole. Make it to the next mailbox.”

At dusk, the scenery grew dim, but I saw the lights of my house in the distance. I became completely focused on getting home: seeing my family, resting and being refreshed. Nothing else compared to this end—no chirping birds, no red and gold leaves, no fitness goals. Home meant everything.

At the last mile, I thought of several friends who passed recently. All fought diseases that wore them down with each passing week or month much as the miles were taking their toll on me.

For so long, they relished their journeys and were not ready to head home. I wondered if there came a time when everything around them, while still lovely, began to dim as the lights of “home” became brighter.

Parting from people we love is sad, but the sadder thing is to be in a race with no goal in mind. Merely to run and run and run through life stopping only for one novelty after another is very tiresome.

I know some don’t believe we can have an assurance of a “home” at the end of our lives. I couldn’t see my house at mile 8, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there.

CS Lewis said: “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”

Faith in Christ isn’t “pie in the sky.” It challenges you to find meaning in suffering and death and prompts your spirit to admit, “This is hard truth” when truth must be faced, whether or not it’s politically correct or raises even more questions, such as, “Why Jim?”

As I grieve, I remind myself that Jim was not ultimately made for this life, beautiful as his life was with his family. He fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith (2 Tim. 4:7).

So now, at the end of each run when I re-live the joy of returning home, I take a second to think about Jim, who is really home, and that brings me an even deeper joy.



Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog: 2nd Cup of Coffee and 2nd Cup Columns.

What Not to Wear

On TLC’s fashion makeover show What Not to Wear, a makeover subject is introduced to outfits put together according to new rules designed especially for her by the show’s hosts. If the subject stays within the guidelines and avoids old habits and haunts when she shops in New York City, she’ll do well at her “big reveal,” where the hosts will lavish praise on her for staying true to their directives even though she may have struggled.


When we’re sensitive to the Spirit of God, we too have moments of revelation, seeing ourselves in the 360* mirror of truth--and it’s not pretty.


The Spirit then shows us a new way of living, one that best fits why our creator made us in the first place. If we focus on him and avoid old habits and haunts, we’ll do well in the “big city,” and in the end, God will lavish on us the words we long to hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant.”


In Ephesians 6:14-18, we find familiar “rules” for dressing for spiritual success.

Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God's justice protect you like armor. Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet. Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Let God's saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God's message that comes from the Spirit. (CEV)

But we’ve read these guidelines so many times it’s easy to blow across them. So just for fun, let’s flip the passage and look at What Not to Wear, Spiritual Edition.


*Don’t get bound up in hypocrisy and deceitfulness, which are ugly and hurtful. Be straightforward and virtuous from the smallest button to the largest overcoat.


*Don’t slip your feet into grungy shoes that bring nothing but trouble to others— be the one who walks into a room with good news, comfort, peace, compassion and hope. Wear shoes suitable for moving swiftly into spiritual battle for yourself or on behalf of others. Who says sensible shoes can’t be beautiful?


*Don’t wear a flimsy smock of faith. Go for quality and durability. You’ll be glad when you face harsh weather and adversaries.


*Your hat is a banner over you, creating first impressions. Who is your designer? Know your Savior and King above all!


*Your most important accessory? Not your denomination. Not your worship music. Not your financial giving statement. It’s the Word of God. Outside your body, strictly speaking, it’s an accessory, but meditate on it until it’s deep in your heart and first in your thoughts.


*Don’t be lazy about your spiritual attire, returning to old habits and haunts. Stay au current. Notice what God is up to in the world and join him. Be in constant communication with your Life Coach.


It’s OK to look forward to the final “Big Reveal,” but until then, get your spiritual fashion rules down, express your creativity and uniqueness, work with passion, and have loads of fun in the big city!



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(This article was originally published January, 2008)

When Flocks of Geese Attack: Dealing With Anxiety

Why is it that in the middle of a restless night, worries come at you like a flock of geese relentlessly honking and snipping, demanding the bread in your hand? As soon as you give a morsel to one, another comes charging at you.

As I write this, it’s 2:30 am. I’ve been lying awake due to mid-life hormonal power surges and a persistent snore beside me. Before I rose, my personal flock of geese was closing in, snatching my peace thought by anxious thought.

Question: What do you do when worries surround you?

In the spirit of Family Feud: “Survey says … pray!”
I’m guessing that “pray” is the number one answer for anyone reading this devotional, and that’s a good answer!

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you,” and the first order of casting off anxiety is to open up conversation with our Father.

Sometimes I tell God about my troubles as if he were an ordinary friend, explaining to him the situation and my questions and fears.

But the Lord is so much more than an ear to bend. He is, of course, well … bigger.

Let’s review, Class. He is:

Faithful

Good

Incomprehensible

Infinite

Loving

Merciful

Omnipotent

Omnipresent

Omniscient

Sovereign

Wise

The list goes on. I’d like to add one more: Near.

Remember Psalm 23:5, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” He is with us in the presence of enemies, whether tangible or intangible.

I’m so thankful that although God is everywhere, he is also near. We do have troubles in this world. But it’s comforting to know that whatever besieges us, we do not face it alone, even if we’re battling in the middle of the night. He is always near and always awake.

When I turn to the Lord for help, I must continually remember to “cast” my cares upon Him. That is, I have to make sure I’ve done more than just vent my feelings in prayer. I must release the burden to Him in faith, because He is faithful.

In other words, I have to divest myself of the habit of rehashing the whole scenario.

The Amplified Bible opens up 1 Peter 5:7 in the context of giving (casting) our concerns to God: “… the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.”

I need to digest that: “All of your worries, once and for all, because he cares for you,” and may I add again, this is a really BIG God who watchfully cares for you.

Finally, I will share an exercise that helps me release my burdens, although it is fairly juvenile. It goes like this: my son has shared that he and his teammates are traveling to North Carolina for an Ultimate Frisbee tournament.

Eventually, after I pray about his safety, my imagination will evoke anxiety, in this case, by presenting the scene of a terrible wreck. I then picture a red (appropriate for alert or fiery trial, yes?) helium balloon representing my specific fear. Sometimes I envision the burden written on the balloon, such as “Keep Jordan safe.” Then I let it go, and watch it waft up, up and away. Then I remind myself that I have released this fear to a big, omnipotent God who loves my son more than I do.

Now it is 4:00 am, and I’m getting sleepy. If the geese encircle again, I will stand my ground and say, “In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You, Lord, alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust” (Psalm 4:8). And if I have to, I will release a big bouquet of red balloons one by one until I drift off under His watchful eye.

Questions:

1. Do you ever find yourself merely bending God’s ear in prayer instead of trusting Him for peace and resolution?

2. Is there a mental image or exercise that would work for you to help you release burdens for which you’ve already prayed?

3. Which scripture would be most helpful for you to have at the ready when geese attack?


Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:









photo credit

"Pass The Cranberry Sauce" is Not a Relationship

Is there a specific person in your life whom you find very difficult to love?

To be completely transparent, I admit that I have one or two … or three … people who are difficult for me to love.

One of these provides me with a daily exercise in self-restraint and the forgiveness of small offenses. It’s the thorn in the side syndrome.

And the other person I see only at Christmastime, which provides a year’s worth of awkwardness to be dragged out into the middle of the room like a big ‘ol poorly-wrapped gift.

Obviously, my relationship with the first person precipitates a daily working-out with God the miscellany of offenses I have collected in the last 24 hours. Sometimes I think He relishes the myriad of chances I offer Him to grow my character.

After all, He knows the roots of my sin concerning this relationship and points me directly to why I’m offended. The kicker? It’s really not about the other person at all; it’s about my flaws and my responses to him/her.

Imagine that—I’m responsible for my frustration—not the other guy!

The second relationship would seem to require very little spiritual working out on my part because I don’t have to deal with that conflict very often, just once a year, which appeases family and maintains holiday largesse.

If only it were that easy.

I know my God too well to know that he is OK with that kind of passive resistance. He’s all about unity. (See John 17 for exhaustive proof of that assertion.)

Let me be clear that other than having clashing personalities and a history of conflict with the family, there is no reason to avoid this person, e.g., no physical abuse, etc.

But for years, “out of sight, out of mind,” has been my motto concerning this relative.

Aren’t you glad that God doesn’t look at our sins past and present and say, “Oh well, out of sight, out of mind—I’ll just focus on this stellar spirit over here and ignore the problem child.”

So I’ve come to believe that it’s not acceptable to merely engage this person once a year to say, “Pass the cranberry sauce.” I'm pretty sure that exchange doesn't qualify as a relationship.

In fact, I’m pretty sure the Godly thing to do is to move toward this person instead of away.

In 2 Corinthians 2, Paul addresses the way believers should respond to one who has wronged them: “I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.”

Sometimes forgiveness and love involve actively seeking to reconcile when it’s the last thing we want to do naturally.

In that same passage, Paul explains that when he has forgiven others, he has done so “that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”

I am not unaware of them, either. And in my case, complacency and avoidance just might be major components in the Devil’s scheme to separate my relative and me.

So it looks like it’s time to make a phone call, just to catch up and reconnect—move toward restoring relationship. And no matter how my call is received, I will know that I am attempting to follow Ephesians 5:1-2: “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

The Holy Spirit always moves us to reconciliation and living a life of grace-filled love.

For reflection:

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one (Matthew 6:12-13).

Questions:

1. Are you able to see conflict as a scheme of the Devil whose goal is to thwart Jesus’ prayer in John 17?
2. What is the most challenging part of forgiving someone?
3. What are the results of holding grudges, keeping score and avoiding someone on our spiritual and physical selves?
4. What results are possible if we move toward reconciliation even if the other person is not receptive?


Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

When the Bell Tolls, Will You Be Ready?

Recently during vacation, I awoke at 4:42 a.m. in a hotel to a frightening mix of intermittent, deafening buzzing and pulsating, blinding light.

Panicked and confused, it took me a second to realize that the fire alarm was going off. As I headed toward the door just a few steps away, I couldn't find my daughter because of the strobe of the lights piercing the night like paparazzi flashes, so I called her name and turned to pull her out of her bed.

Because she was already up and moving, I banged my forehead against hers so hard I saw stars, which only heightened my discombobulation.

Once we were assembled outside on the hotel's lawn, I realized I was wearing a knee-length night shirt and felt a little exposed, although everyone else was in the same vulnerable situation. The irony is, being the worry-wart that I am, whenever I travel, I always sleep in exercise pants and a T-shirt just in case there is an emergency -- except this time. I've always expected the moment to come, I just didn't think it would be this time.

I noticed that those assembled on the lawn were in the same boat: taken by surprise, feeling exposed, no credit cards, laptops or phones to distract us. We were a pitiful homogeneous bunch, waiting around for direction from someone in charge.

This unnerving experience prompted me to remember that inhaling one moment doesn't guarantee an exhalation. Even when medical knowledge gives us months to prepare for our exit, there is a definite moment when we are here, and then we simply aren't. It seems when anyone passes, we are all taken by surprise as I was during the hotel alarm. We do not seem to truly believe, as Hemingway said, that the bell will toll for us.

And when we move to the other side, no acquisitions or accolades we've garnered will mean anything as we stand empty handed, waiting for the next step from the One in charge.

During this same vacation, on a hike, I came across a small family cemetery and snapped a picture of a tombstone of 20 year-old Martha Ownby (1868-1888), engraved with these words:

Remember friends, as you pass by
Once I was as you are now
But as I am, you all must be
And now prepare to follow me.

I don't mean to be morbid in this post, but you can see that I had some interesting thoughts about death on this vacation!

Basically, both experiences reminded me that I have the same inevitable moment ahead of me as all who have come before me: "In a flash, in the twinkling of an eye ... the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed." (1 Corinthians 15:52).

I want to be ready when the bell tolls for me. That is, as I trust in Christ for my eternal future, I also want Him to help me live today the life that fulfills His purpose for me. In essence, being ready means trusting Christ for my salvation and finding my way each and every day by living and moving and having my being in Him.

Questions to ponder:

We know that when we part this earth, we'll not take any material possessions with us, but we will indeed leave everything behind, including a legacy. If asked, could you clearly state your personal legacy for those you leave behind?

How often do you anticipate heaven? Oliver Wendell Holmes suggested that we don't want to be so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good, but that is perhaps a response to those who claim Jesus only to be assured a ticket to heaven without any significance applied to life on earth. When you think seriously about heaven, how does it inspire you to live today?




Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

Not Forgotten, Not Abandoned

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” (Isaiah 49:15).

The New Testament city of Ephesus was immersed in the Greco-Roman tradition of the pursuit of beauty and perfection in every sense: art, architecture, music, and even regarding the human race.

In fact, Greeks and Romans regularly abandoned their unwanted (less than physically perfect, or often, female) infants to the elements as a means of divesting themselves of the responsibility and stigma of such a child. This practice was termed “exposing” the child. Some of those rejected children, if physically able, were "adopted" by Ephesian citizens only to serve as slaves.

Testifying to the common act of abandoning children is the following letter written June 17, 1 B.C., by a man named Hilarion to his pregnant wife, Alis:

“Know that I am still in Alexandria. And do not worry if they all come back and I remain in Alexandria. I ask and beg you to take good care of our baby son, and as soon as I receive payment I will send it up to you. If you are delivered of child [before I get home], if it is a boy keep it, if a girl discard it. You have sent me word, ‘Don’t forget me.’ How can I forget you. I beg you not to worry.”

How could such a warm missive contain such a cold directive to simply discard a baby!

As customary as this cold-heartedness was, there were some, mainly Jews and later Christians, who would make a long hike to the outskirts and dunghills to rescue these forgotten children in spite of the great sacrifices they would make to care for them.

Imagine, then, the joy of one of those rescued Ephesian children, slave or free, upon hearing Paul's letter: For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Blameless. Loved. Pleasing Him.

You and I also live in a culture which seeks perfection by almost any standard other than the one of a holy God. We want beautiful faces and bodies, state of the art technology, instant and vast knowledge, perfect careers, homes and children. We live in a “throw-away” society that has little use for items, or people, who cannot contribute in ways we find most valuable. The aged, the unborn, and the voiceless are often discarded or put out of view.

And you and I—we definitely fall short by our fellow man’s standards. Even if we became one of the "beautiful people" who graced the covers of magazines and made millions simply by repeating memorized lines, soon the world would tire of seeing us at the top and begin to knock us down the ladder rung by rung until we became yesterday's news, forgotten, mocked, or scorned.

And incredibly, some of us have literally been unprotected or discarded by our very own mothers and fathers.

In other words, we live in a world of hurt.

But we are not abandoned.

Jesus, you could say, like those compassionate Jews and Christians who rescued the abandoned, strapped on his hiking boots and walked a long, steep hill, Golgotha, to rescue us. We belong to him. We belong. He chose us. We are accepted. We are loved.

Can you see Jesus’ determination to rescue us? “And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:44). Though it cost him so much, he sacrificed more than we can comprehend to bring us into his family, and no one can ever change our status!

So you may have been literally abandoned at birth, or emotionally abandoned, or abandoned by a spouse or feel like an outsider wherever you are, but the truth is, you are not abandoned. You are deeply wanted.

Jesus, the expression of God’s great love, reached out his mighty hand to scoop you up, redeem you and call you by name—you are His! (Isaiah 43:1).





Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

Letter to Graduates from A Mom

Although this devotion is a little off the beaten path for me here at Internet Cafe, these issues are on my mind as the mom of a college graduate as of last Saturday. If you are the mom of a graduate this year, high school or college, I hope this blesses and encourages you in your role as a Christian mom. If you know a graduate who might be feeling uneasy about the future, perhaps you can encourage him or her with some of these thoughts.

Someone once said, “It’s not so much that we’re afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it’s that place in between that we fear. It’s like being between trapezes.”

That’s where you are right, now, Graduate, letting go of the bar behind you, whether high school or college, anticipating that second swing to take you to your future. Right now, in this split second of your life, you’re precariously suspended in air, hoping all of the preparation you’ve done won’t fail you when your big moment arrives.

Don’t be afraid to grab the new bar and swing away! You’re more capable than you know. When you’re apprehensive, remember that the power of Christ is in you, giving you his wisdom, helping you accomplish his purpose in your life: “For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Phil. 2:13). When you surrender your life to Christ, the task ahead of you is never greater than the power in you (1 John 4:4b).

But what if you slip and fall in the future? Just know that there’s a safety net called “family” to help you get up and right back on the ladder. We’ll believe in you when you doubt yourself. We’ll remind you of who you are in Christ when your thinking gets foggy or misguided.

CS Lewis said, “We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.”

Well, no one wants to see you “go bad!” I’m glad you’re not in diapers or braces anymore, although I miss my little girl so much sometimes. But it’s fun to watch you hatch. We’re so excited to see the beautiful, stylish feathers replacing the fuzzy down.

Of course you’ll face obstacles ahead, but I hope that you'll embrace the growth they foster. Washington Irving said, “There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position and be bruised in a new place.”

When you were growing up, I tried to save you every bump and bruise, believing that as long as you were an arm’s length away, nothing could harm you. You didn’t even go to the mailbox unwatched by my loving eye.

Then you developed this whole crazy notion about having play dates and then older friends and then leaving the house and the yard to go down the street and across town and eventually out of town to have fun with those friends. You were driving and filling out college applications. Suddenly, you were farther than my arm’s reach or eye could see.

I was forced to recognize that not only was I not in control of every influence and circumstance around you but that I never was. We only like to think we are in control, which is silly because the truth is that Someone much greater and wiser is in control. As Emerson said, "All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen."

And so I learned to let go of you bit by bit, which is what’s supposed to happen in families. I let go of my own trapeze, believing that He would see both of us through to what lay ahead: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion” (Philippians 1:6).

So congratulations to my college graduate—to all graduates. You’re in good hands.

You were born to fly for His glory--swing away!




Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

Challenge: Keeping in Step With the Spirit

In spite of being married 23 years, I’m not a good cook.

Recently I overheard my husband explain that living with me has been a life-long exercise in “faith-based eating.” Oh, that husband of mine, he’s so funny.

But he’s also so right. Once it was my turn to cook for a group of friends. I played it safe, preparing soup which mainly required opening lots of cans. Imagine my horror when one friend ladled up a deadly-sharp can lid!

My church recently announced a chili cook-off to benefit ALS. In spite of being culinarily challenged, I felt compelled to enter, a move not unlike a tone-deaf person auditioning for American Idol.

For weeks I tried recipe after recipe until I finally concocted a very special original one—which won the competition!

As Kelly Clarkson sang, “Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.” Or at least 23 years.

I’ve been so elated about the win that I’ve not wanted to take off my first-prize apron embroidered, “Grand Champion Chili Chef 2009.” So I’ve been wearing it to school functions, church services, meetings, gynecology appointments, etc.

Oh, I kid. But I just can’t get over the fact that I succeeded in something I never dreamed possible.

My husband and I recently began hosting a small Alpha group, where people come to wrestle with the big questions of life pertaining to faith.

Even though we wanted to participate in Alpha, for the first few weeks, we felt uncomfortable and a little incompetent.

As time passed, though, we forged friendships and shared moments of spiritual growth that we never would have if we hadn't said yes to the opportunity.

Last year, my husband began meeting weekly with a student at a local elementary as part of the Kids’ Hope Program. At first George felt awkward and insecure, but the student’s enthusiastic anticipation of their weekly meeting has affirmed George’s sense of purpose in Kids’ Hope.

So maybe old dogs can learn new tricks. Because we were willing to feel uncomfortable for a little while, we’re leading a group. George now has a precious new friend. And the world has a brand new chili recipe that totally rocks!

If we’re willing to find the places where God is at work and step into the game, we can shake off routine and make a difference. A little bit of discomfort can do a body and spirit good.

Galatians 5:25 says, “If we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

Is God calling you to take a step somewhere out of your comfort zone today? What will you miss if you don’t? What might you gain if you do?





Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

Greatest Hopes and Greatest Fears—Two Sides of the Same Coin

Scripture Reference: Mark 8: 31-35:

Jesus began telling his disciples what would happen to him. He said, "The nation's leaders, the chief priests, and the teachers of the Law of Moses will make the Son of Man suffer terribly. He will be rejected and killed, but three days later he will rise to life." Then Jesus explained clearly what he meant.

Peter took Jesus aside and told him to stop talking like that. But when Jesus turned and saw the disciples, he corrected Peter. He said to him, "Satan, get away from me! You are thinking like everyone else and not like God."

Jesus then told the crowd and the disciples to come closer, and he said:

If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross and follow me. If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me and for the good news, you will save it.

“Cosmic irony,” the difference between the outcome of an event versus what was planned or hoped for, is a concept that works great in literature and movies but is not so amusing in real life.

When I was a teenager, I was chosen to wear the back-to-school line in a local style show. I selected three outfits from a trendy store and was told to show up on rehearsal day.

From then on, I daydreamed about “modeling.” I told my family. I told my friends. I practiced walking and turning in front of my bedroom mirror.

On rehearsal day, the director informed us that as we made our way around the stage toward the exit, we would have to stop and dance at three specific spots.

Ah, the moment of cosmic irony: Dancing was not part of the original deal.

Suddenly, there were strings attached to the gift that had so miraculously befallen me. Just as suddenly, the very last thing on the entire face of the earth I wanted to do was the thing I had looked forward to for weeks because dancing, for me, is akin to singing a solo in public. I didn’t just fear that I would look foolish; I knew I would. Thus, my greatest hope at that moment in my young life was ironically tied to my greatest fear.

That’s the way it often goes with human experience:

• We hope for a great career after earning a degree, but we fear not finding a job or the right fit.

• We want to get in shape or get organized, but we fear not completing our goals.

• We want to write a book, but we fear it will never be published.

• We desire a mate, but we fear we’ll make a mistake or be abandoned by that mate.

• We desire children, but we fear dealing with terrible twos and teenagers.

• We long for deep, meaningful friendships, but we fear being fully known.

• We want to serve others, but we fear being burdened with endless needs and demands on our time and resources.

• We desire our faith to grow and be proven, but we fear the life-changing trials.

Peter, who more than anything desired a Messiah, was disheartened when Jesus told him that, “… the Son of Man must suffer terribly. He will be rejected and killed, but three days later he will rise to life.”

Oh, the moment of cosmic irony for Peter: Death of the Messiah was not part of the original deal. In fact, Peter took Jesus aside and told him to “stop talking like that.”

But Jesus fully accepted the strings attached to his messianic mission. And he encouraged his disciples to let go of fear and follow him.

He said to them: “If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross and follow me.”

Forgetting about yourself may mean recognizing that in this life you will have fear, often well-grounded, reasonable fear. The challenge (forgetting about yourself) is to let go of both your hopes and fears. Fear causes us to withhold, to clench things tightly in our fists.

Jesus asks us to loosen our grip on that which holds us back, to offer our hesitations and hopes to him. He encourages us to take heart, for he has overcome our greatest hopes and fears—indeed, he has overcome the world (John 16:33).

Questions:

1. Finish this statement: “I truly, deeply desire ____, but I fear ____.”
2. What is one step that you could take today to loosen your grip on that which holds you back from trusting Christ?

My personal thanks to Pastor Matt who inspired me to write this.




Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

First Love

Well, do you remember?

I’m not sure whom I should count as my first love because there are a couple of contenders, the first being the pastor’s little boy when I was in kindergarten. Smitten? I liked him so much that I talked a mile a minute around him, and my only memory of him now is his telling me, “You talk so fast I can’t understand you.”

The other candidate for my first-love memory is my high school sweetheart. I thought I would marry him someday, but it turned out that we each married other people one day apart in our hometown. Years later, I met up with him again, and he confessed to being a terrible husband--a serial adulterer--and I was stunned. I have never stopped thanking God for sparing me the fate of being his wife.

Still, in my heart of hearts, I know there is a deeper first love than all of these. Maybe you’re guessing it’s my dad, but even before my earthly father reportedly danced a jig on the day I was born, my heavenly Father loved me. In fact 1 John 4:19 says, “We love him because he first loved us.” God loved me before I was capable of returning love.

I believe that Jesus is God’s clearest expression of his love for us, and it is Jesus who is my shining knight on a white horse, my savior, and in essence, my first love.

But I didn’t always feel that way. For a time, the focus of my existence and devotion was to my boyfriend (now husband). Through some hard lessons, the Lord showed me that although my husband is a good man, he is not a “god-man.” That is, he cannot be, nor was he intended to be, my all-in-all, go-to source for having all of my needs met. That is not who God created him to be, nor is it any husband’s role.

But we lose sight of our first love sometimes, and we seek affirmation and significance in other people or things. Then, of course, we feel dejected, misunderstood, under-appreciated and resentful.

Ironically, that kind of emotional pain is often what it takes to help us remember that as great as earthly love is, there’s no comparison to the sacrificial, faithful love of Christ, and that’s the way it should be.

Jesus always understands me, now matter how fast I talk to him! He is faithful even when I am prone to wander: “If we are not faithful, he will still be faithful. Christ cannot deny who he is" (2 Timothy 2:13). May I never take his faithful love for granted; may I never allow my devotion to my “First Love” grow cold as the Ephesians had in Revelation 2:4-5.

I have a lot to be thankful for on this Valentine’s Day. I’ve been married 23 years to a wonderful man who helps clean house, plunges toilets, occasionally bathes my little dog and brings me coffee every morning, which is no small favor, since I imagine that experience is like sticking your arm through the cage bars of a grizzled old lioness who has morning breath.

Yes, he’s a keeper.

My husband is a gift from the Lord, the very best earthly gift I could have received. But more importantly, I treasure the Giver of the gift, and that keeps the “Valentine’s Day” earthly kind of love in perspective. In other words, my First Love deserves first place in my heart.

I hope that you recognize your “First Love” today and spend a few intimate moments with him.

Questions:

1. What valuable lessons have you learned through earthly love relationships?
2. If you wrote a love letter to God today, what would it say?
3. Are you in danger of allowing your love for Jesus to grow cold, as the Ephesians did? If so, what could you do today to remember and re-focus your love?




Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

Like a Belgian Draft Horse--How I Read the Bible - or - "Do Not Despise the Day of Small Beginnings"

Last January, I charged into a “Read the Bible in a Year” plan like a souped up race horse breaking onto the track. It wasn’t the first time I had attempted the goal, but this time, I was determined to complete it.

Imagine how deflated I was to have to start again in April. Let’s just say that this time I trudged out of the gate like a Belgian draft horse pulling a Levitical plow. It has been slow going, but I keep telling myself, “Slow and steady wins the race,” or at least wins a sharp Sunday school lapel pin for managing to “stick to it!”

Why has this reading plan been so difficult? After all, I read a user-friendly version. I grew up hearing Bible stories and memorizing verses. I was a literature major, so I obviously enjoy reading. If you asked what book I’d take to a desert island, I'd reply, “The Bible.” And I’ve received much guidance and comfort throughout my life from this book.

I do what I can to remind myself, placing my Bible on my nightstand, slipping it into my purse to read in waiting rooms, packing it on trips, sticking it in my tote bag, plopping it into my car—it’s always with me. Yet, I often find myself walking by it on the coffee table. Somehow, I always seem to have one more laundry load or phone call or three more hours on the Internet before I can pick it up.

Unfortunately, my reading has been more of an exercise in discipline than an experience in learning and worshiping. And while there’s nothing wrong with practicing diligence, my heart has not been fully engaged. It’s like the difference between reading a textbook account of an event as opposed to reading the personal letter of an eyewitness.

Although I was frustrated last April, I’m glad I didn’t quit. Now I’m in the race with two goals: to finish my year-long project, yes, but also to be transformed, which makes all the difference.

If you’ve recently set goals, don’t be discouraged over false starts and distractions. Remember how the re-building of the Lord’s temple was stalled time and again.

Zerubbabel, Jerusalem's governor, met lots of opposition as he began the project, but God sent Zechariah with encouragement: “’Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty" (Zechariah 4:6).

When setbacks come, don’t let them rob you of your confidence. When you fall, don’t berate yourself for having leapt. Remember that failures have potential to make you more dependent on Christ, our ultimate strength and only real measure of success.

Zechariah 4:10: Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.”


Questions:

If God does not despise (scorn, disdain) small beginnings, is it legitimate for us, his workmen, to do so?

When you find yourself despising yourself and your efforts, what can you do/say to combat those accusations?

Have you invited God to join you in achieving your goals this year?

Have you invited God into your failures and mistakes this year? Do you think this is a negative way of thinking? Why/Why not?



Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:









Horse photo credit: Malene Thyssen, http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Malene

Gingerbread Lessons

Recently, I created a gingerbread church from scratch, with stained glass candy windows and a roof of candy shingles.

Since this was my first attempt, I gathered tips from experienced bakers and researched blueprints in order to prevent catastrophes. Even so, when I assembled the sections, I found odd structural problems.

None of the research advised that when your cookie sheet goes “boing” in the oven, your walls may warp, turning your creation into a wonky funhouse instead of a sweet fairy tale cottage.

I added candy to detract from the problem but only felt dissatisfied. I considered placing a gift-laden sleigh on the bowed roof to imply the cause of its sinking, but I knew that camouflaging the flaws only compromised the integrity of gingerbread baking principles. (I’m serious about this stuff!)

So I heated a knife in a candle flame and painstakingly cut through the thick royal icing, removing one section at a time to begin again.

After reassembling it with truly flat pieces, I added ribbon candy, peppermints, gumdrops and dripping icicles, which I then enjoyed with a clear conscience—no artful deceptions on my church!

My experience made me think about how real homes and churches get off-kilter, literally and figuratively, when they’re built on shifting ground or with compromises in integrity.

Sometimes couples try to candy coat flawed relationships by buying more stuff, as if to say, “How could our marriage be bad? We have worked together to purchase a great house, take tropical vacations, fill a four-car garage and enjoy lavish Christmases.”

But if there are foundational flaws, the sugar frosting belies the funhouse incongruity in their hearts.

My parents, celebrating 66 years of marriage on the 14th, built my childhood home on a foundation of faith in Christ, and my brothers and I enjoyed the sweetness of a loving home as a result.

There weren’t a lot of Dr. Phils or premarital counselors in 1942, and I’m sure there were bumps and cracks along the way, but they have always painstakingly sacrificed whatever it took to stay true to their vows and to God, their foundation.

No family is perfect, and I’ve learned through gingerbread baking that perfection is not the goal. I now embrace small glitches which prove my gingerbread wasn’t stamped out in a factory but rolled out by my hands.

However, I’m grateful to know that when my marriage or my individual life shows signs of cracking or warping, I can bring the pieces to God, who straightens crooked hearts and rights wrong thinking.

And that is the good news of this season—through the events of the first Christmas, God provided a Way to re-build, restore and renew our relationship with Him and with each other. Those are indeed good tidings of great comfort, and great joy.

Isaiah 28:16
So this is what the Sovereign LORD says:
"See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a tested stone,
a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation;
the one who trusts will never be dismayed."

2 Timothy 2:19a: Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his."

Questions to think about:

1. Is there a fissure or skewed place in your heart or marriage that you would like God to mend or heal?

2. Are you able to accept the glitches in this season such as a less-than perfectly neat house and a tighter budget in perspective of the tidings of great joy which is available to each of us?

3. Consider sharing the differences between flawed foundations and lesser imperfections with your children as you bake this season to help them embrace individuality while learning that God's basic plan for our lives is the best foundation--all the rest is frosting!



Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

Don't Miss God's Messages to You Today

Tell me what your preferred method of communication is, and I bet I can guess how old you are.

If you rely on telephones and voice mail, you are probably reading this through bifocals.

If you prefer email and instant messages, I’d guess you’re growing a wrinkle at this very moment because you are most likely in your 30s.

If you mainly use social networks such as Facebook and text messaging, you’re probably under 25. In fact, the youth ministry for which I work texts deadline reminders to kids and has a Facebook group designed to keep everyone on the same page, no pun intended. Students routinely tell us, “Don’t email me; Facebook or text me.”

Some of my “40-something” friends have begun texting their own children, even when they are in the house together! You may be scratching your head at that, but if you really want to get your teen’s attention, text him or her occasionally. If you want to send her a compliment without getting the bogus but ever-popular “eye-roll of annoyance” in return, text her.

While the effort might seem extraneous, think of texting as leaving a note in the lunch box, which I’ll bet you’ve done. You can text your child a private family joke, ask if he’s OK or send an encouraging message (“praying for you”), or even a favorite scripture.

Of course, texting can’t replace face-to-face communication, but you can make an appointment for a deeper discussion later. In the meantime, you’ve touched base with each other. And since texting is a private communication, it can be confidentially pragmatic when you get a heads-up message that goes something like this: “Alexis is going to ask me to spend the night. Please say no.”

Any activity or gizmo that takes up so much time in our lives is bound to have spiritual implications. Group Magazine offers great questions to ask your teen about communication: “Does technology simplify or complicate your life? Do you like always being reachable? Why or not? How open are your communication lines with God?”

When I read that last question, something in my spirit quickened. I wondered how open my communication lines are with God.

For instance, I’ve noticed that whether my daughter and her friends are engaged in a birthday party or movie or ball game, when they receive a message, they discreetly check it right away. They seem to be always accessible through texting. Am I just as accessible to God, or does he wait in the sidelines of my busyness for me to get back with him when it’s convenient for me?

I want to be completely open and available to God. Whatever I’m busy with at work or home, if he arrests my attention for one moment, I want to stop in my tracks and check in through prayer. After all, God is not limited to influencing us only through Bible reading or sermons or long periods of prayer. He also gives us timely warnings, nudges us to help others and inspires much-needed ideas for newspaper columns and Internet devotionals!

May we be as attentive to his voice as we are to our cell phones. May we be as quick to respond to God as Samuel was:

“The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’ Then Samuel said, ‘Speak, for your servant is listening’” (1 Samuel 3:10).

Everyone loves a note in the lunch box--don’t miss God’s messages to you throughout your day!

Things to think about:

1. When was the last time God got your attention in the middle of an impossibly busy moment?

2. Is your prayer life a balance of your speaking and listening, or is your speaking weighted more heavily than listening?

3. Today, jot down all of the times you sense that God is re-directing your attention. Ask him if he has a message for you in those moments.

4. If you have teens, take time to discuss the communication questions in this article.

For further reflection:

John 10:12: “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

Isaiah 55:3: “Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David.”

Isaiah 30:21: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’”



Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

Why Your "Lifesong" Pleases God

When I was seven, my parents bought a brand new piano for me, before I ever had a lesson. Buying a new piano rather than a starter seems rashly optimistic, doesn’t it, knowing how fickle kids are. But my parents really wanted a piano player in the family, exhibiting a fervor usually reserved for offspring becoming doctors and lawyers. I can’t explain their unity and intrepidness in this goal, but when I was born, the last child and only girl, the first thing my father said was, “Now we have our piano player.” And there I am with a toy piano at the left, two years old, being prepped for my inevitable destiny. Yes, they were serious about this piano-playing stuff.

After three years of lessons, we all agreed that I was probably done.

Even though I wasn’t very good, you should’ve heard my folks go on about how they loved to hear me play. No matter how many times I bungled notes, they commented about how they enjoyed my music.

I remember thinking, “What is wrong with them? Can’t they hear the mistakes? I’ll never be good at this. I can’t even get through a song without messing up, and yet they act like I’m headed for the Lawrence Welk Show! I wonder if they’re fibbing when they say they like to hear me play. I wonder if they’re just being nice because they think they have to.”

Presently, that piano sits in my living room, where every morning before school, my last child, a 15 year-old girl, plays a repertoire of popular ballads that she has learned from the Internet, which, I might add, is a lot cheaper than the approximately three years of lessons that she received when she was younger.

Here’s the thing. I love to hear her play. She misses notes, plays half-songs, tinkers with chords, uses the pedals wildly—she’s all over the map, so to speak. And yet, her music brings me indescribable joy. I literally get a warm “Christmasy” feeling while she plays, a sense of peace, contentment and pride.

My husband and I were analyzing why we’re so touched by her playing. We decided the joy comes from observing her releasing something which desires to be expressed, that creative spark that we’ve all heard about which reflects our Father’s creativity. I can feel her heart in her music. I’m also proud of her ability to teach herself, to set goals and meet them. I’m proud of her musicality that most certainly did not come from me.

To sum it up, I love her music because I love my child; her songs are part of who she is. Notice that perfection is not even a remote consideration in my appreciation. I’m wild about that girl. Thus, I’m wild about her music.

It’s funny how when I was the young pianist, all I could hear were my mistakes, but my parents heard the music above the flaws. Now I do the same thing with my daughter.

We created beings know our frailties all too well. We regularly bungle the gifts our Father has given us. Sometimes we start and do not finish; sometimes we get a little crazy and miss the mark.

For instance, you may feel that you have not excelled at parenting lately. You may feel that your house is a mess, that you are scattered between home, church and work obligations. You may think the last object lesson you taught was a flop. You may have lost your patience with an extended family member in spite of your sincere desire to love her. You may have put on weight in spite of being a mediocre cook. The list could go on and on.

You only notice your flaws, while your Father, who is wild about you, hears the music of your life--and it brings him indescribable joy.

Missing the mark does not surprise Him. Perfection is not even a remote consideration in his love for you. He is delighting in you even now as you sit soaking up these words.

So how do we respond to this kind of love?

I’m reminded of Casting Crowns’ lyrics:

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to you

Whatever you do today, “sing” with all your heart for the One who loves your music and delights in you, and don't let inner accusations and missteps drag you down. Your soul longs to express itself to its Creator, and He longs to hear music that is uniquely you!

Scriptures about soul-songs:

Psalm 108: My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.

Luke 1:46: And Mary said: "My soul glorifies the Lord”.

Psalm 42:8: By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.



Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

Slip-N-Slides in Your Desert

Oh, how a year can change your perspective.

Last September, we deposited our son, Jordan, in his dorm room, and I was one sad mom.

What’s worse, I think he was unhappier than I was. His expression clearly communicated, “What am I doing here? I don’t even want to be here. This is a mistake.”

I would’ve preferred that he couldn’t wait for us to leave. Even though he’s old enough to vote and live with a complete stranger in a tiny, musty dorm room, when your child feels insecure, your heart aches.

Throughout the year, Jordan grew more and more acclimated to campus life.

In May, he returned home, and thus we began a wonderful summer with him and his laundry. Before I knew it, it was time to make the second deposit.

Imagine my surprise when I received his first email this year:

Probably one of the best weekends ever. We set up a slip-n-slide, and at first, it was us and another guy, and it was starting to get lame even though it was fun. Then groups of people started showing up, and eventually, we had over 50 people slipping and sliding. We also had at least another 30 people actually sitting and watching, like it was a performance. So that went great. Me and Drew were kind of dubbed the most welcoming room and the room with the best chemistry between the two roommates. It's a lot of fun living with him. We will probably be hosting a lot of movie nights. Classes are okay so far.

I’d say he feels pretty good about being there now, wouldn’t you?

As seasons come and go, there are moments when we think, “How did I get here? I don’t want to be here!”

When we’re lonely, it’s important to remember that scripture is full of promises that the Lord never abandons us. For instance, Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

When we’re dreading job interviews, root canals or new school years, we need to remember that prayer can change things, working out kinks in the circumstances or in us. We can end up not merely enduring but rejoicing, like my son did.

In fact, God loves catching us off-guard, turning our expectations upside down:

“Do not remember past events; pay no attention to things of old. Look. I am about to do something new … I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:18-19).

God cares about what you’re going through. He can make a way in your wilderness, and if he chooses, instead of a river, he can put a slip-n-slide in the middle of your desert--because he knows exactly what you need.

Whatever your trouble is, pray, and then watch with expectant eyes: He is about to do something new!


Questions

1. What burdensome circumstance will you trust God for today?
2. Do you have a personal story about a time God put a stream or Slip-N-Slide in your spiritual/emotional desert?



Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog:

















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Straightening Out Crooked Thinking

In the last year or so, I began patting myself on the back whenever I incorporated the phrase, “It is what it is,” into my life.

For an over-thinker of things, the resignation in “it is what it is” was a great coping mechanism, allowing me to surrender to situations I felt powerless to change. By verbalizing my acceptance of the status quo, I thought I was growing. I thought I was learning to lay aside analyzing everything and avoid getting sucked into the vortex of my own circular thinking. I even spiritualized my new strategy by saying this new outlook helped me to put away worries and trust God--anything for peace. But what it actually birthed was an internal passivity, a euphamism for lack of faith.

This week, in a response to the well-known Beth Moore study “Believing God,” Chel at Abiding Branch posted an observation that challenged me:

Do you ever feel trapped in the land of “It is what it is?” Boy, I have so been there. I have moved from angry to depressed to “it is what it is.” And quite frankly, eh hem, I don’t like the definition of ‘is.’ Seriously, the ‘is’ is not working for me, and the unbelief had to go!”

My initial response: Unbelief? Really? Ouch.

Chel recognized that this laissez-faire attitude is tantamount to saying, “This is beyond hope. This is my lot. God is in some of the details, perhaps, but we can’t expect Him to move in all circumstances ….”

As the newly-fired neurons in my brain began connecting all of the dots, I could see places in my life where I had decided there was little to no hope, and I had grown faithless, weary, and even unbelieving—not unbelieving that God could change things but that He would change things.

Case in point: praying for my close friend, Diane, who has been given a very discouraging cancer–related prognosis. I do not think I need to delineate for you the anxiety, fear and sadness my friends and I experience as we try to walk with Diane through this ordeal. In fact, in many ways, she’s faring better than we are.

Concerning the prognosis, circumstances appear to say, “It is what it is.” Faith says, “But God is always bigger than the apparent ‘what is.’”

God is up to the challenge of hearing our very specific prayers. In fact, He wants us to believe that He exists, and He wants us to believe in Him:

But without faith no one can please God. We must believe that God is real and that He rewards everyone who searches for Him (Hebrews 11:6).

We are certain that God will hear our prayers when we ask for what pleases Him. And if we know that God listens when we pray, we are sure that our prayers have already been answered (1 John 5:14).

I cannot foresee the way Diane’s situation is going to resolve, but I can trust in the character of the God whom Diane and you and I know and love.

To conclude, the only one who has the final word on “It is what it is,” is God, the worker of mysterious ways, which are His ways, and way above our own.


Questions: When you examine the chain of faith that has been forged in your life, do you see any weak links? (Marital issues, wayward children, chronic illness, addictions, etc.)

What step can you take today to grow out of that passivity?



Please visit Linda Crow at her personal blog: