Peace in the Midst of the Storm
"I feel defeated," I wrote in my journal and struggled to keep the tears in check.
Around me beeps, chirps, and bells sounded, alerting the nurses to check on the sick babies lined up in the beds along the wall. I walked into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit that morning to find my tiny daughter back under the blue light to help rid her of jaundice. It was her ninth day of life – her ninth day in the NICU.
I was tired. I came alone that day because my other children were home from school. My husband stayed with them, while I kept watch over our newest child. One, two, three, four, five – I counted the wires, tubes, and cords coming from her small body and stared at the mask over her face to protect her eyes from the special light. How could this be? Why did this happen? Thirty-six weeks didn’t seem that early to me. She was so much bigger than the other preemies in the unit, but she was dependent on the oxygen and monitors the same as them.
No one was in a rush that day – a rush to get me out of there. My nurse that day made me feel like an intruder continually encouraging me to leave, reminding me my other children needed me. Like I needed any reminder. Without my husband by my side I was vulnerable and weak. I sent up a prayer of desperation. Oh, Lord, I can’t take much more. I feel defeated…
Seconds later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up into a smiling face.
“Are you okay?” one of the front desk receptionists asked.
“Yeah,” I drawled unconvincingly.
“Are you sure?” she probed again.
That was all it took. That one little push sent the tears running. She leaned down and embraced me in a tight, all-encompassing hug. With her mouth right by my ear, what she told me had the hairs standing up on the back of my neck.
“God is still good. All the time.”
I knew the employees couldn’t come out and share their faith at the risk of offending someone. How did she know what I needed to hear? She straightened up as I thanked her for the hug, still reeling over what I heard. She tilted her head with a grin, winked, and disappeared in the cacophony of sounds.
God sent her. There was no other explanation. He longed to fix my hurt. He was keeping watch over me the same way I kept watch over my precious child. My Abba Father knew how alone and overwhelmed I felt and sent someone to tell me He was near.
Do you feel all alone?
Have you felt like shaking everyone around you and shouting, “Fix it”?
I don’t know your circumstance, but I know One who does. Our Almighty Father has a message for you, too. Let me be the one to tell you…
God is good. All the time.
You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed. Joshua 23:14 NIV