Dragging My Box
When I try to let go of a burden and lay it down for God it is always hard. It should be easy. I have seen him do so many miracles in my life, I know he can handle anything and will work it all for my good. But I guess my human nature takes over.
It is like I am dragging this big box around. It is just big enough that I can barely carry it. It is just a little bigger than can be carried comfortably for long, you know awkward. I carry it and drag it for as long as I can and then I set it down for a minute to get a better grip, to plan the best way to hold it.
I know at that point, God steps up and says, “Can I carry that for you?”
I answer, “No, I think I can handle it, just have to tackle it from a different angle.”
So I again pick up the box and carry it a little longer. I have to stop every few steps to adjust my grip on it, but I am getting it done. Then the box slips and crashes to the ground. It cracks a little but isn’t broken.
God again stand by and says, “I can help you with that; let me.”
“No, no, I have it figured out now; I just need to drag it. I’ll get there.” I answer.
So, I take a rope and tie it to the box, and then I am able to drag the box along. It it hard but I am doing it myself. As it drags along the ground it keeps hitting bumps in the road. I keep going. I have to stop every few minutes to get my breath. God is standing there. I keep going by myself.
Eventually dragging my box on the ground wears at the bottom long enough that the whole box falls apart and I start losing what is inside. I have tried so hard to protect it. I have done everything I know to do, but it is still ruined. I can’t fix the box and I can’t go any further. I sit down and give up and cry.
God looks down at me and says, “Will you give it to me now to carry?”
I say, “What is the use? It is broken and there is no way to work it now. It is all ruined and I ruined it. I’ve even lost part of it. It is hopeless. I quit.”
God says, “That is just what I have been standing by waiting for.” And he picks up the box and all of the pieces in one hand and then picks me up in the other and carries us both to where he wants us to be.
When we get there, everything is different than I expected and my box is changed but whole again. It is all better than I had planned for myself. I look back then and see how long I foolishly struggled to carry my own box; I look at how many times God offered to take it. Is it pride, not feeling worthy or what that makes me carry my own boxes with so much stress and pain when God is standing there, asking, offering to help me?
I think to myself, “I will never again carry my own box instead of letting God help me.”
I am so comforted where I am; I am so ready to give everything to God. He is capable of taking care of me. I wonder then why I didn’t give him the box from the first day.
Then I look up and see another box that has come into my life. God steps up and says, “Can I carry that for you?”
I say, “Thank you God. I praise you God. But this one is smaller and less bulky; I think I can handle this myself. It isn’t so big that I will have problems with it, after all I am so much stronger now.”
So, God stands by silently; and my struggle begins again.
Matthew 11:30 NLT
For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”
Please forgive me for all the times I fail to turn to you with my burdens. I praise you for all the times you have come to my rescue only after having watched me turn you away over and over. Please help me to remember to give my burdens and worries to you, even when I think they might be too small to bother you with. Father, I confess my inability to deal with my problems on my own and acknowledge my constant need for you.
In Him, Teresa
Teresa is a very happily married Christian woman. She has been married to her husband Terry for almost 2 years. This is the second marriage for both of them. She is 44 years young and I has 3 daughters, one by birth and two by marriage. She is also a grandma to one! Teresa says, "I am a woman who has been blessed and I am thankful for every pain God allowed to come to me."