What Is Success?

"We can make our plans,
but the Lord determines our steps."

Proverbs 16:9

Had you asked me what success was 5 years ago I would’ve pointed to Manhattan high rises, daily train commutes and multi-million dollar deals. Had you then asked where I pictured myself in 5 or 6 years I would’ve stared at you like you were a little slow on the uptake and reiterated the beauty of a Manhattan high rise.

I’ve spent the majority of the past five years torn up inside over the course my life has taken. It is that daily struggle I’ve spoken of many times before. Everything in me with worldly ambition shakes its head and asks, “Kristen, is this what you really want?”

For five years I’ve answered with, “…let me think about that.”

Then the wrestling would come. The Lord would give me a firm “no” about moving a certain direction and set my course straight ahead. I would start to veer left; He would patiently wait and return me to the path. Ultimately, I would follow His lead but more often than not I would go wondering what I left behind.

The other day I was getting ready for bed, a hard time of day for me when I am going into a season of purposed writing, speaking to the Lord.


He spoke something to me that I couldn’t put into words if I tried. So, I won’t. Did you ever have a moment like that? A moment so holy, so God you simply couldn’t express it if you tried? I want us to have moments like that.

Anyway, He spoke something big, certainly not by the world’s standards maybe not even by yours, but big for me.

Honestly, that isn’t even the miracle of the night.

The miracle? My response.

It was my joy to serve Him.

It was my small offering.

The best I can do.

The most I can bring to this thing.

“Yes.”

A quiet, whispered, heartfelt,"Yes.”

What is success you ask? Is it multi -million dollar deals, train commutes and Manhattan high rises?

Or is it a feisty, independent girl on her knees in dependence before her Lord, heart in hand and life offered?

I don’t know much but I know this --it’s the latter.

Oh, that our steps might be steady, keeping to the course He has set.

“You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
now you expect us to live it.
Oh, that my steps might be steady,
keeping to the course you set;
Then I'd never have any regrets
in comparing my life with your counsel.
I thank you for speaking straight from your heart;
I learn the pattern of your righteous ways.
I'm going to do what you tell me to do;
don't ever walk off and leave me. “
Psalm 119:4-8

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Kristen welcomes you to visit her blog {dancing} in the margins where she writes about seeking Jesus in the day-to-day, her deep love for cupcakes and the hilariousness that is The Office.