January 30, 2008

The Internet Cafe

welcomes

Melanie from Big Mama

"Clean Up on Aisle 9"

The other day my daughter Caroline and I were in the grocery store. She rarely wants to ride in the cart anymore unless it’s the monstrosity that is the bright blue racecar cart. You know, the ones that make semi-trucks look small and maneuverable by comparison?

So, since I knew it was going to be a fairly quick trip I allowed her to walk next to me. As we went down the various aisles, I would tell her what we needed and together we would look for it. It was a peaceful, harmonious time until we arrived on the breakfast cereal/fruit snack aisle.

“Mama, I want these!” she said, holding up the box of My Little Pony fruit snacks. If I had a dime for every box of novelty fruit snacks we have bought and then not eaten, well, I would have a lot of dimes. Maybe even two dollars worth.

“Please, I want them. They are so cute and the most beautiful!” she continued to beg. I said, “No, we’re not getting those. You think you want them but you won’t like them. How about these other kind? You’ll like these.”

She continued to insist, I continued to say no and thus, meltdown on Aisle 9 ensued.

I was so frustrated that she wouldn’t listen to me and thought to myself that I don’t know why she won’t let me tell her anything. I know what she’ll like and what she won’t. I am the mama, I know what’s best. I didn’t want her to get fruit snacks that would just go to waste and not get a snack she’d really enjoy.

And in that moment, on Aisle 9, it hit me. God showed up right there among the Honey-nut Cheerios and I saw myself in my child as He said, “That’s what I’m trying to teach you. I am the Father, I know what’s best.”

Let me be clear that God and I have not been wrestling over My Little Pony fruit snacks. I’ve never been much of a fruit snack girl. But I have been learning that His ways are truly higher than my ways. He knows me better than I know myself.

In the last year of my life so many things have happened that I wouldn’t have asked for or planned. The way has looked really uncertain and the path has been rocky. I’ve had so many times of praying for God to do one thing and then seeing Him do another. It has stretched my faith beyond where it’s ever been stretched.

I’ve had moments of confusion, fear and waiting. Waiting to see His hand. Waiting to see Him provide. And He has, but not always in the ways that seemed to make the most sense to me or in the ways that I wanted.

At the same time, I’ve seen doors begin to open to opportunities I never even dreamed of and my life begin to move in a direction that I couldn’t have imagined. And while it still seems like a lot of pieces in a puzzle that I’m waiting to see come together, I can see the pieces. I can see His hand. I can see His provision.

And it looks different than what I wanted.

It looks better.

I was busy asking for my version of My Little Pony fruit snacks and He was nudging me along knowing that just because they might look beautiful, doesn’t mean they are the right things for me. He had something better in mind because He knows me better than I know myself.

He sees the whole picture and all I see is what’s on Aisle 9.

God, help me to walk in your ways. Help me overcome my unbelief and trust your heart even when your hand is moving in ways I don’t understand.

Isaiah 55: 8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”


God bless,


Melanie
bigmama1.com