A Hot Cup of Compromise

You may be surprised to know that Pastors and their Wives do not always find themselves in perfect agreement. It can be very hard for Luke when he realizes he's wrong and I'm right. *snicker* Even worse is when the drama doesn't play out in private but rather as something akin to a freak sideshow.

Just last Wednesday, Luke and I were in the Awana office along with some friends when the subject of winning contests came up. I shared with the women how I'd won a contest at Sue's Praise and Coffee in which I'd received a Christmas CD and Godiva flavored coffee. I was still thrilled because I never win anything. Apparently no one had told Luke that there are some conversations men should just not be a part of - times when they should leave well enough alone.

Things started going downhill when he felt it necessary to correct me on the kind of coffee I had won. He piped up and told everyone, "She won some coffee alright. But it was Gevalia, not Godiva."

"Luke, it wasn't Gevalia. It was Godiva. Honey. " (You can say anything and put 'honey' on the end and still sound like you were trying to be nice.)

"Lisa. Darling. It was Gevalia because I remember thinking about Todd B. when I saw the package." (Todd B. was a college friend who drank Gevalia constantly.)

"Luke. Snookums. It was Godiva because I remember thinking 'chocolate' when I saw the package. Okay? Love ya."

"Lisa. It was Vanilla Gevalia. And I'm willing to bet on it."

"Luke. It was chocolate Godiva and you are stinkin' ON! Bring It, Preacher Man!!"

The girls in the office watched this spectacle with the zeal of being court side at Wimbledon. I'm certain nothing made them prouder of us as a ministry couple than when Luke wrote down both of our coffee guesses so we could have proof of who won the bet. Thankfully, he quit gambling long enough to go teach Bible Study while I got on the office computer to look up Sue's blog to settle the wager. (No, I didn't skip church. I work in the Awana office on Wednesday nights. :)

And there in a beautiful golden package was a picture of GODIVA coffee but, unfortunately, the flavor wasn't clear on the packaging. So at worst I was half right.

The minute Bible Study was over Luke barged into the office and said, "Well!? What kind was it?" After gloating because I was winning, we grabbed the kids and raced each other home to settle the score once and for all.

Because we are so mature like that. Definitely an inspiration to all in our church and community.

We got home, found the package and read the label together:

"Godiva Chocolatier: French Vanilla"

Shoot. Both of us only half right. We called a truce, hugged, and secretly enjoyed the fact we both had won.

Which leads me to the point of this tale: In relationships, it really is okay to only be a little correct. To accept black instead of white. To refrain from imposing night on another's day. There is nothing that would have been more fun than to wag my fingers in my ears and sing, "Na Na Na Boo Boo" if I had been completely right about the coffee but I can honestly say it was much more rewarding - not to mention age-appropriate - to be able to say, "We were both right."

The Apostle Paul agreed when he wrote in Philippians 2:3-4:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

So what is to gain by yielding? I believe we can find an answer in Luke 14:10 - 11:

"But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. 11 For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

And here is the divine paradox - the lower we go the higher we get. However, the exaltation we seek is not one that lords us over one another but instead seats us at the right hand of our Lord. This is also the spirit that will prevent our saying, "I told you so" even when we are in the right.

So I thank you, Sue. I'm certain you had no idea your contest would contribute to my spiritual life. I also have to thank the Apostle Paul. Who knew his inspired words would be used to settle a coffee dispute and to humble two servants who'd gotten way too big for their britches?

Please visit my personal blog, The Preacher's Wife.