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Friday, November 9, 2007


I am a regular church attendee, I attend many sporting events with my family, I am around my children schools, volunteer in different areas, during the course of a day I can come in contact with many people. These are people I may see weekly, daily, or maybe never again. Here our lives come in contact and I see their face, maybe even know their name, but yet we never really meet. What is their life like? What struggles are they facing right now? I don’t know this about them; and they don’t know it about me.

We never get to know each other. I sometimes am filled with loneliness from the idea of no one really seeing my face. Oh people may see my mask from day to day. The mother, the wife, the volunteer, the spiritual advisor, the aunt, etc… I long for more in-depth relationships but many times when I am with loved ones or strangers the focus is more on their need, and how I can offer or help them (or visa versa). I am talking to myself here, for I am guilty of this also. How many times do we as people spend the time to get behind the mask?

We dial up, hook up, and log on but we never really connect to others. There is no one that is not affected by loneliness. Many times we as Christians think, I should not feel lonely if I really believed in God’s word, He is my everything. In Mathew 26:56 “all the disciples deserted him and fled.” Feeling lonely is not ungodly; Christ experienced loneliness while here on earth. While on the cross Christ felt sadness, despair, etc…and to a much greater degree than we ever will. So how do we handle the feelings of loneliness?

  • God provides these feelings for us so we recognize our need for Him. Tell him your thoughts of loneliness, whatever you have to dish out He can take it.

  • Love him, praise him, and worship him. Any of you who are married realize love is not about the feeling all the time, but the commitment. Sometimes we need to follow through with what is right, and the feelings will come later.

  • Find a place or a person to help. The feeling of helping someone, even when there is nothing for you to gain will help in the feelings of loneliness. “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Gen 2:18) You can experience feelings of loneliness but it is not good for you to be alone.

Author Peter Pintus said, “These are times when our faith must reign over our feelings so that obedience will counteract our natural desire to turn away.” I think as Christians sometimes we push the feelings of loneliness under the rug, in reality we need to give permission to talk freely about feelings of loneliness and in coming together and doing so, we won’t feel so alone after all. It is then we find ourselves behind another persons mask, and we letting down our own.

I would love for you to visit me at Book Buzz here on CWO or my personal blog: Laurel Wreath

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Blogger Tammy said...

Good word. May I be even more conscious of the lonely hearts around me. All of us have felt this at some time and most likely will again. Thanks for sharing, Laurel!

November 8, 2007 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger lori said...

You know we all feel lonley at some point...just the other night my oldest went to a meeting and didn't know anyone..we talked about how lonely it is until you make 'new' friends...something I relate too...ALL THOSE MOVES..
It is the only place to go when those feelings of lonliness the One who also felt it...
it's funny, we all seem so busy to spend the extra few minutes getting to know someone and deep down, we all really want to...
wonderful are going to touch a lot of women's hearts with these honest did mine...

November 8, 2007 at 9:25 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

Amen my friend.

November 8, 2007 at 11:41 PM  
Blogger eph2810 said...

You are right, Laurel. Although surrounded by people all day long -- I feel very lonely sometimes. I like what you shared from Peter Pintus -- I do have to take that to heart when I feel sad being lonely.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on loneliness.

Blessings my dear friend.

November 9, 2007 at 12:34 AM  
Blogger Heather@Mommymonk said...

Your words are so well timed. I feel lonely and I often turn everywhere but to God to fill that empty place. And I need to be reminded that so many others are feeling lonely too even if they look like they've got lots of "friends."

November 9, 2007 at 8:17 AM  
Blogger Susan said...

Great word Laurel...

I've recently moved to a new town. We attend a GREAT church, (thank you Jesus for that), and I attend a small bible study. I'm starting to finally meet people, but I MISS HOME.

I've battled feeling lonely many times. I do know however I'm in a new season in my life now, and it's drawing closer to Jesus.

I know I'm just where he wants me, longing for more of HIM.

Thanks for sharing...



November 9, 2007 at 9:05 AM  
Blogger Jane Anne said...

I liked what you had to say today. When my husband was deployed to Iraq, I really struggled with loneliness and shame because I felt I wouldn't feel lonely if I depended on God enough. Though I am not in that place now, your words spoke to me. Thanks!

November 9, 2007 at 3:59 PM  
Blogger The Preacher's Wife said...

i experienced this intensely when we lived in north carolina away from friends. my kids were toddlers so there was no school/ballfield activity to help form relationships. Our congregation was more elderly and not interested in hanging out with us.

however, it was during that time the Lord gave me the desire to write and encourage others with the struggles I was facing. Just like Moses, a period of aloneness served for me as a time of commissioning. so yes, it can be painful but also the place where God transforms you from what you were to what He's making of you...

This was a wonderful word Laurel...

much love,


November 10, 2007 at 10:22 AM  
Anonymous Lynn said...


I think there are vast numbers of Christians who are lonely. We all, myself included, feel isolated and unable to share the real me with someone who gets me.

I love your heart and courage to write about lonliness and how we are able to cope. God bless you Laurel.

November 10, 2007 at 9:01 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

You hit me and possibly many others square in the Resource and Guide has proven Himself time and time again....the only cure for what "ailes me" as my mother would say.
I just erased a whole paragraph....simply because I find myself "wanting" to talk to you---(spending so much time w/kiddies today and needing some REAL grown up conversation)---and I have a tendency to "run on".
Be blessed----I will probably send it in an e-mail....provided there is time tomorrow!

November 11, 2007 at 9:37 PM  

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