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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sometimes We Just Need Someone to Understand

She looked at me through tear stained eyes and confessed, “I feel so alone, you do not understand how much this hurts.”

She was right, I didn’t understand it.

I had never walked the road she was walking. Though she was surrounded with friends and family during this painful time in her life, she needed someone to “get it”, someone to identify with the particular pain she was facing.

Loneliness is not about being alone. We can be in a crowded room, but so lonely our heart aches. We long for the gentle words of someone that can say, “I understand how you feel.”

How do we help a girlfriend who’s filled with sorrow and fear if we’ve never experienced it ourselves? The only way I know, is to bring her to Him. We bring her to the One who created her, the One who understands all of our grief and suffering.

You and I are vessels that God uses to bring life and hope to others, but we are not THE life or THE hope that they need. We are ambassadors, we represent the healer, but we do not heal. Even when we’ve walked through the same battle they are in, we still can only take them to a certain point in their journey and then they need the arms of the Savior to wrap around them and pour peace into their anxious, broken heart.

Occasionally, in my desire to help a friend, I will put myself in a position to “fix” things. It doesn’t take long to figure out that this is a recipe for disaster. God may use you and I to love someone and show them who He is, but we need to continue to remember that He is the only one that can bind the wounds and heal them.

Our God understands our loneliness and every pain we could ever feel.

1 Chron 28:9
For the LORD sees every heart and understands and knows every
plan and thought. If you seek Him, you will find Him.

It’s our job to remind those hurting that God knows every plan and thought. He understands their pain, He “gets it.” Jesus is living proof that we are never alone.

Matthew 1:23
Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a
son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel,
which being interpreted is, God with us.

The message of Christmas proves that we are never alone, God is Emmanuel, and He IS with us. I pray that this truth wraps itself around your heart and not only helps you in time of loneliness but also helps you show others that He is with us.



Anonymous Lanie said...

Thank you for this reminder. I am at one of those "lonely times". As I was lying awake in the middle of the night last night I was reminded the only one who really understands my pain is Jesus and I prayed he would continue to hold me and that I feel his comfort as I grieve the loss of my Mom this Christmas season.

This is also a reminder for me to keep praying for my friends who face other hardships that I might not "get".

Blessings, Lanie

December 16, 2009 at 7:16 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

What an awesome article. You are so right that the best thing we can do is point others to God. In times when we have been there, sometimes all we can say is "I understand. I've been there. I know how you feel." And then point them God. I really appreciate how you bring out the fact that even when we have experienced what the other person is experiencing, we still need to ultimately point them to God.

December 16, 2009 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger happyhome said...

Great reminder Sue. In our desire to help, we often get in the way of what the Lord is attempting to do in their lives. It takes wisdom and discernment to comfort, but not inhibit.

Merry Christmas!


December 16, 2009 at 7:44 AM  
Blogger I am blessed! said...

That's what really gets me about the 23rd Psalm- He's always with us. Leading us, protecting us, caring for us. Even in the valley of the shadow of death, He is there. And we will dwell with Him forever!

December 16, 2009 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger Charla (SHar-la) said...

What a great reminder! Thank you for this post. We tend to try to help solve our friends' problems because we love them so much and we don't want them to hurt anymore.

December 16, 2009 at 9:28 AM  
Anonymous Sharon said...

This is such a timely reminder! I am one of those people who loves to 'fix' others and soothe their pain. I got hurt so many times I began to withdraw from people and didn't want to have anything to do with them. Because I did not realise my purpose (to be a vessel and not The Source), I hurt myself and I'm sure I hurt others as well.

The new year holds a lot of change and challenges for me. I just got married, I'll soon be a mom and I'm relocating to a whole new continent; this is something to hold close to my heart. Not only am I a vessel, leading others to the Lord Jesus, I also have the comfort of knowing that He will be with me and He has walked where I walk.

Thank you so much for this uplifting and encouraging piece. God bless you!

December 16, 2009 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger Freddae' said...

You have NO idea how much I needed this today. I've been in need of this reminder. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You were such a vessel for me today.

December 16, 2009 at 10:37 AM  
Anonymous Meg said...

I am one of thosse who is "alone" but am learning of the greatness of God being "in" my home my heart and my life now more than ever. There is no easy fix but sometimes a voice of hope, a touch or a note to say you are there is what is greatly apprieciated. I am comming around to enjoy my time alone, to entertain the thoughts of what I can do when I don't have to worry about that other person. But having that person too is a gift until it is removed that is hard to justify. Thank you for the gental reminder of Gods gift to us this holiday season...

December 16, 2009 at 12:02 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

Such a powerful reminder, bless you.

December 16, 2009 at 1:56 PM  
Blogger Praise and Coffee said...

I love that Sharon... "to be a vessel and not The Source" great words!

Thanks everyone for all the sweet encouraging words too. I love hearing all your input!!

December 16, 2009 at 2:52 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I have whipped up several of those "disaster" recipes before...still trying to learn my lesson and stop trying to fix everything and everyone...I loved this post!

December 16, 2009 at 6:58 PM  
Blogger LauraLee Shaw said...

This is so relevant and wise, Sue. Love the way God used you in this devotion to speak into the hidden places of our hearts. Wonderful.

December 16, 2009 at 8:03 PM  
Blogger Sanctified Together said...

Great article! I have realized that most people just want us to listen to them instead of giving advice. While we listen we can gently point them to Jesus.

December 16, 2009 at 10:02 PM  
Blogger BizzieLizzie said...

Merry Christmas!

What a sweet, sweet message poured out in front of me. Thanks so much for the gentle reminder that we are all on different paths in our walk and the best medicine for the weary is a closer walk with Him. Yes, I agree - most folks just need someone to listen to them - it does require our time, but what a sweet gift we can give those that need it. The gift of Jesus! I cannot imagine my daily walk without Him to chat with 24/7.

December 17, 2009 at 7:28 AM  

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