Am I Missing Anything, God?
My blog friend, Lisa Whittle, wrote a while back about a conversation she had with God. Wanting to make sure that she wasn't off the path He was leading, she asked Him, "God, are we tracking"?
Since reading that post of hers, I have probably asked God that a handful of times. The most recent one was a couple of weeks ago.
It was a Thursday and my spirit was down. I started doubting what I'm doing, what I'm supposed to be doing, what I'm saying, if I'm saying the right things, if my life is making a difference, if I'm doing something out of His will. I wasn't depressed but I also wasn't my normal hey, God is good and life is sweet little self either.
I went to bed that night praying, begging, pleading with God to show me that we were still indeed...tracking. I have done things in my life that I thought were "from God" only to find that they were basically about me. The outcome isn't pleasant and oftentimes is followed by weeks, if not months of dealing with shame. And quite frankly, I am just not interested in that.
When I went in to check my email the next morning in my neat and tidy
anal-retentive inbox that does not have a single, unread item in it, thankyousokindly, I found an email from a woman. We'll call her Barbara.
Barbara shared her heart with me and all that she'd been through. She opened up her life to me and told me that she had felt so alone. She told me how she wished that God would speak directly to her like He did when He chased Stacy all the way to Texas. She just wanted to hear from God.
A gal that Barbara met at the meeting that night started sharing her story and mentioned that God had ordained her steps and that they led directly to my front porch one evening this past August. Barbara began to shake and was absolutely beside herself. She could not believe that she was sitting with THE Stacy that she'd read about two months earlier on my blog.
And boy did they have themselves a conversation.
As tears were streaming down my face at the end of the email, God spoke as directly to my heart as I've ever heard him. All He said to me was, "Even if it's only one."
It doesn't matter if you write for thousands or only for the handful of gals you have in your Bible study. It doesn't matter if you speak to stadiums full of people or to the thirty-seven teenagers at your church. It doesn't matter if you reach a million people or ten people.
All that matters is that you reach.
Labels: Cindy Beall