Internet Cafe

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Friendship: Longevity vs. Habitual

The Internet Cafe Welcomes Bo Park today!

As we get older, the topic of friendship becomes much more complex. When we were younger, friends were made based on various "cool" factors, status quo, and basically anyone who was willing to hang out with us in our tender years of physical insecurities. In our mid 20's, friendship becomes more about longevity, rather habitual friendship-making due to mutual friends. It's about our friendship becoming the bedrock in our times of calamities. Friends we can lean on and trust in.

I think it's vital as strong spiritual women that we begin the process of connecting with people we believe we will live a long life with. A local pastor once referenced friendship much like a bank account. We must deposit into the friendship, but the problem is a lot of us withdraw before we begin to deposit.

God tell us to choose our friends wisely; that the righteous should be cautious and intentionally choose his friends. Almost every friend we have is due to circumstance, not by purposeful intent. But I think at this time in our lives, we should be more particular about who we're friends with because we're all aware of the impact our friends have in our lives. They help us grow, and we mold one another. With foolish friends, you become foolish; with wise friends, you become wise. Proverbs 13:20 tells us exactly that.

He who walks with the wise grows wise,
but a companion of fools suffers harm.

God also says, "Swear to your own herd and change not." Another reason why we should choose our friends is because once we do, we communicate a commitment that we have established a friendship with them. It holds great meaning to become friends with someone. You hold responsibility. So once that non-verbal commitment is made, it's yours to uphold and up-keep. A friendship should be honest and deliberate; it shouldn't be there because it feels nice, because in the end, it serves no real purpose.

As much time and effort it takes into building a friendship that will last, it also takes just as much effort to break a friendship that has no real purpose in edifying your life. Are there certain people in your life that bring discouragement more than encouragement? Are you able to hold hands with your closest girl friends and say, "hey, let's pray about that"? If you're weighing the pros and cons, seek God's words for peace; and if you must, seek discernment and courage to say, "I don't think this is going to work out."

God, we thank you that you are the author of all relationships. We glorify you for being our rock in our times of calamities and hardship. Give us the courage to step out and cut off the arm that causes us to sin. Help us to be bold in choosing the men and women you want us to be involved with to find encouragement from. You are perfect relationships; help us to perfect ours.

In Him,

Bo S. Park

After many years of rejecting God, I finally answered His consistent knocking after hitting rock bottom—literally—at the bottom of a beer bottle. I abused alcohol for majority of my high school and college life. I had no one to guide me, encourage me, and have a positive impression on me in my years of adolescence. I had enough—I ran from my problems straight into His arms. For many years after my last drink, I sought His love on my own and have been renewed, restored, and redeemed. Life is—by no means—grand, but I have the love of my Savior and I couldn’t be any more at peace. I seek Him daily; I renew myself in His word daily, and I am determined to help women of all ages find their ‘secret place’ with God, our Prince of Peace.

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Blogger Denise said...

Thank you for sharing your heart dear one, be blessed.

April 21, 2009 at 5:54 AM  
Blogger The Real Me! said...

Friendships can build you up or tear you down. I don't believe in quantity but quality.
Great post.

April 21, 2009 at 6:02 AM  
Blogger Christa said...

Well said. God bless

April 21, 2009 at 8:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

True friends can be so hard to find at times, and it doesn't do anyone any good to be around the ones that only tear down. Thank you for sharing! He is our best friend.

April 21, 2009 at 9:43 AM  
Blogger Shannon Jacobyansky said...

I'm reminded of a graden stone engraved..."Friends are the family we choose". I have moved several times in the past 7 years and have left many great friends behind with both parties with tear filled eyes. You really find out who your friends are...they are the ones who continually stay in touch. It means so much to be remembered and thus we need to do our part and be a friend to have a friend.

April 21, 2009 at 1:02 PM  
Blogger momstheword said...

I absolutely agree that you need to be prayerful. You want people who will build you up, not tear you down.

You want people that support your marriage and your family.

Many times we will go to a friend that will tell us what we want to hear. But a true friend will speak truth to you in love, no matter what.

Some friendships are friendships and some may be a ministry. It's however God leads you.

Beautiful post and thank you for sharing!

April 21, 2009 at 5:47 PM  
Blogger Lexi said...

I have been battling all day with a situation with a "friend"....thank you for this post. I know God was speaking through you to me.
Thank you for obeying.
God bless.

April 21, 2009 at 11:08 PM  
Blogger Bosule said...

Such love and support from everyone! Thank you so much. Unfortunately, they listed my old blogspot - here's my new one:

Thank you for the kind words, everyone. Much love from Seattle!

and may God be the foundation of every single one of our relationships!


April 23, 2009 at 4:00 AM  

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