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Sunday, March 1, 2009

Living With Me




My house has all the normal things, living room, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, office. There's nothing fancy, no extreme bells and whistles. There's five people who live here and often times there is (as Brennan Manning calls her) my Impostor walking right next to me.

She will follow me from room to room doing many a mischievous thing: a critique, a nag, a reminder of what I don't have or what I think I need, a jab, an applause, a telling of an old story of what I used to do. She's not my friend. She's my Impostor, but I live with her and she with me. We cannot be separated...or can we?

I wonder, do you ever struggle with the voice of yourself? Do you ever find that you want more than you have? Do you ever struggle with wondering why you're not noticed? Do you find that you crave the applause of those around you even if it's just a small golf clap? Do you struggle with feeling significant? Beautiful? Pleasing? Pure?

I do. I have.

And so, what do we do with all these things? Are they supposed to be of people who claim to follow Christ? On the one hand, I am to be pure and humble, self-sacrificing and meek, and yet I want to scream "NOTICE ME!", but not too loudly because we don't want to be First when the First with be Last.

Aren't we to be holy as God is holy? What happens if I think really poorly of someone or consider that that other man might be better than mine? What if I really like her house or her figure?

Bad me.

Bad, bad me.

I'm a Christ follower! I'm not supposed to think all this! Feel all this! Shame. Shame on me.

And so the chastisement goes. Your thoughts might be different. Your chastisement of who you should be might be a whole other set of lines. What are they? Can you identify them? Do you even know you're doing it?

How do you live with the other "Me" in your life? Do we all struggle with "But I died in Christ...why do I still feel like this?"

If so, then I have someone I'd like you to meet. Her name is Natalie, and she's my Impostor, she...is me.

Like it or not (and we clearly don't like it) we are who we so hate being. Our Impostor IS us. My Impostor IS me, but we have

...taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator...Christ is all and is in all.

Col. 2:9, 10


It's time to do something about, and with, and for our Impostor. The enemy has lied to us long enough that we are either not worthy of the blood and forgiveness, or we would be desperately better off with the ways of the world. It's time to get REAL.

R-Recognize that you have "Me" to live with. Just be strong enough to say, Yes, this is me.
E- Examine what things, ways, attitude and lies are set up against the Truth.
A- Accept that, yes, this is me. This, Lord, is me.
L- Love yourself enough and trust Christ enough to be transformed. He did not free us so that we would walk ourselves into more bondage.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Man, this is hard for me. I have such an appetite for applause and such a fear of being over-looked that I forget that my full identity, peace, and satisfaction is found in Christ! He set me free from what would hold me captive to this world and I chose to burden myself with it!

Oh, people, we have got to get REAL. If we aren't, then we are fooling only ourselves.
He knows the struggles.
He knows the lies.
He sees the hypocrisy.
He hears the foolishness.
He feels the pain.
He understands the doubt.

But, He cannot transform what we do not bring to His feet. He cannot heal what we do not let Him touch. He cannot free us from what we hold so dear. Think about what is in the deepest places of who you are and then...tell Him. Get real with Him. Lay it all out there. He is your best friend, your greatest lover, your biggest fan, your softest teacher, your Most Honorable King. Tell Him. He is not surprised and welcomes your honesty.

Whatever is denied cannot be healed. Do not deny yourself the opportunity of complete healing, freedom and finding the Real You. Watch as your Impostor bows to the King and His authority.

Watch as You find yourself in Him and He in You.

In Him,
Natalie

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For more Living With Me visit:
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And my personal blog:
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5 Comments:

Anonymous sheilacowell said...

this is one of my favorite blog posts ever. thank you so much for your heart to identify the "me" and reminding me how to make "her" bow down to the King.

March 1, 2009 at 5:30 AM  
OpenID alittleilife said...

That Imposter - she's a troublemaker! This is a post that is not only VERY true for me, but likely for most of us as well.

Great post, Natalie. This one's gonna bring some to their knees - in prayer!

March 1, 2009 at 7:08 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

Terrific post as I struggle with this daily...I know that I am a Daughter of the Most High King, but believing it is a different story. That lack of belief keeps me bound and does not allow me to be all that He has created me to be.

March 1, 2009 at 7:20 AM  
Blogger Denise said...

Great post.

March 1, 2009 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger Today's Christian Mom~ said...

This is great. Our pastor has been doing a series called What's In your attitude and it is all about not complaining. My friend and I have wondered where is the line between teaching and nagging??!! This just reminded me of it.

March 2, 2009 at 12:37 PM  

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