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Monday, February 16, 2009


I was sipping citrus-flavored mineral water when she asked me.

It was a 'Let's get together and chat, have some tasty appetizers, listen to a presentation about home-based business, and then browse through a catalog of gorgeous items while considering our budgets' kind of party.

I do love tasty appetizers.

So she asked me. She wasn't the first. Someone else at the party had asked the same thing.

"What do you do?"

As I swallowed my sip of citrus-flavored mineral water, I paused for a moment, considering her possible response, and I answered, "I am a Stay At Home Mom."


Several years ago, I would not have left it at that. I would have recited my resume of accomplishments, some fairly remarkable, but most not. I would have explained the whys and the hows and the maybe one days.

But not anymore.

Oh, I could tell her what I do. I do laundry. I do dishes. I do the floors. I do the grocery shopping. I even do windows, on occasion.

I get up in the morning, still sleepy from the night before, roll out of bed and shuffle to the coffee maker. I warm the frozen pancakes and trod up the stairs to wake my sleepy daughter for school.

I trod back down the stairs, trying not to trip over the cat who thinks she is supposed to be the first one fed. Then I check on the microwaved pancakes, pour on the syrup (I don't skimp) and set the plate at the kitchen counter, calling upstairs for my sleepy daughter to come down to eat or we will be late this morning.

Meanwhile, my husband is getting ready for work. I try to make sure he has clean clothes, and tell him a quick "Good Morning" before he rushes out the door.

Once I coax the sleepy daughter to eat, get dressed and brush her teeth, I head out the door in my sweats, no make-up, except for some under-eye concealer, and drive my daughter to school before I start my day of doing laundry, doing dishes, and doing the grocery shopping.

But the woman at this party eating spinach-artichoke dip doesn't really want to know all of that. She doesn't really want to know what I do. What she really wants to know is who I am.

For many women, who they are is so tightly woven into what they do, they lose the unique pattern of their identity. The woman's nature is to be a doer, a fixer, a nurturer. It is so easy for women to become that which they do each and every day.

What about me?

I am a wife. I am a mother. A daughter. A friend. I am a church and school volunteer. I am all of those things, but lately, I am learning that there is only one job, one identity that is truly important.

I am His.

"For we are all children of God by faith in Christ Jesus." Galations 3: 26

When I am doing the laundry and the dishes, and even the windows, my prayer is that I will reflect what Christ would have me be through Him.

I fail miserably, mostly when I try to do everything in my own strength. It is when I give it all to God, that His Love shines through, not mine. Only when I humble myself and remember what I am not, can I share with other people what an awesome God He is.

"I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galations 2: 20

My prayer, my hope, is that when people meet me, they won't wonder what I do, or who I am. They won't even want to know anything about me, but somehow through my faith and failures in this imperfect life I live, they will want to know The God who helps me through it all.

They will only see Him for Who He is. They will see His goodness. His mercy. His love.

And they will turn to Him and say, "Nice to meet you."


Something to consider today as you do the laundry and pay the bills:

Do you feel lost in what you do?
A job?
Your family?
Ask God to give you peace and reassurance of who you are in Christ.

Join Melanie at her personal blogspot, "This Ain't New York."

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Blogger Denise said...

Thanks for sharing, great post.

February 16, 2009 at 2:30 AM  
Blogger Jamaican Princess said...

Wonderful post man

Jamaican Princess

February 16, 2009 at 5:01 AM  
Blogger you gotta wonder said...

Very nice and very true.

February 16, 2009 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger Darnelle said...

I heard a message a while back entitled:

"What you do, is NOT who you are."

Wouldn't you agree? :)

And you are right... we are HIS. We are! It is more than enough!

Wonderful word today!

February 16, 2009 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger Pamela said...

It's a very sad day for me today adn I so needed to read this.

Thank you for "who" you are, as you have made a difference in my life.

Thank you

February 16, 2009 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger LauraLee Shaw said...

You hit the nail on the head with this one, girl!!!! How many women need to hear this message! I often need to ask the Lord for peace and reassurance in the way He's wired me. He is so good to remind me every single time that I am His. Great stuff, Melanie.

February 16, 2009 at 4:22 PM  
Blogger Michele Williams said...

Wonderful post my friend..

February 16, 2009 at 6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW! I have to share this one...

February 16, 2009 at 8:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I so needed this - I go and do all that is required of me and not think twice that or if I am doing is pleasing to Him. I struggle at a job with negative coworker who strives at breaking spirits.
Thank you for the reminder that I am not this job I am HIS.

February 17, 2009 at 8:10 AM  
Blogger Rona's Home Page said...

Even those of us that work out of the home have those feelings from time to time.
Thank you.

February 17, 2009 at 8:25 AM  
Blogger 2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Great reminder of the reaffirmation that we are valuable because of who we are in him, not who we are for him or any other twist on that phrase.

February 17, 2009 at 8:43 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Thank you so much for this post! I am a work at home mom....and you're right....they don't want to know all that. We all need a reminder from time to time....this is mine. :)

Have a Beautiful Day!

February 17, 2009 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger Patty Wysong said...

This is so important for us to remember! Thank you!

February 17, 2009 at 10:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really needed this today. I have been struggling with feelings of depression because I feel like I need to be doing so much more than just being a stay at home mom. I want to be pleasing to the Lord in everything I do and I pray He will give me the peace to know that I am doing what He wants me to do right now. Wonderful post, thank you!

February 17, 2009 at 12:19 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

I loved this post. I couldn't agree with you more.


February 17, 2009 at 6:47 PM  
Blogger Marilyn in Mississippi said...

Ouch! This post brought back some painful memories of years gone by! Back when I did all the things you described that Mom's do in the homeschooling our three kids. So many, many times people would actually be asking what I did but they would phrase it like this: "Do you work?" And knowing they meant public work, I would answer, "No". After one woman responded with "I sure wish I could stay home all day and lay around and read" I realized I should somehow figure out a different answer! ha Thankfully I am past worrying so much about what other people think of me. And I do want others to think of Christ when they're around me. Thanks for such a great post today. This is my first time to visit the Internet Cafe.

God bless!


February 18, 2009 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger lori said...

so needed to find this today..

February 19, 2009 at 6:44 AM  

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