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Monday, December 15, 2008

The Call

So it happened . . . the dreaded "call." The call no parent wants to get. The call that other people get, not me. The call that says "There's been an accident."

I don't remember the next few minutes. I know that I got into the car. I know that my husband drove. I know that I couldn't get there fast enough and yet I dreaded reaching the scene. I couldn't look and yet I couldn't stop scanning the highway. Stupid call. I hate the call.

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I'm relieved to report that Thanksgiving Day 2008 did not have a tragic ending. There are details, yes, but they are being dredged through, one day at a time. There were emergency room visits, and a totaled car and an over-turned vehicle and policemen and ambulances and traffic and the stop sign I steadied myself with as it all unfolded. But, by God's sovereign grace, there was no tragedy. (Um, Jesus . . . Thank You . . . again.)

It's crazy how parenting transforms life. As an unbelieving single person, I only thought of myself. Later, as a believer, before having children, I began to learn (albeit painfully s-l-o-w-l-y) to trust God with the details of life. And then, children came upon the scene, and the trust in God, that I truly believed I possessed, showed itself to be transparent. The struggle had begun.


I know that God Almighty can be trusted for salvation. (I know my name is in the Lamb's Book of Life. I know that a place is being prepared for me. I know that Jesus is coming back for me, maybe soon. . . I know. I am convinced.)


I know that God heals and delivers and restores. (I know, because my mind has been healed and my emotions have been delivered and relationships have been restored. . . . I know. I am convinced.)


I know that trials, despite their shock and awe, are truly (in the hands of a Holy God) able to transform us into people who look and act and think and love like Jesus . . . ( I know. I am convinced.)

Even though we may fiercely believe all of the above, with all of our hearts, sometimes we still struggle to really "let go" of our kids and trust that they are truly kept by Him. So, most of the time, we keep ourselves 'readied' for "the call."

"The Call" is a secret menace in the background of every parent's mind. It's there because the parent/child connection is very powerful and whether we give birth to them or adopt them or inherit them by marriage, when they become "ours", they actually become a part of us. And as we spend years nursing tiny injuries, feeding growing bodies, encouraging bruised emotions and praying for their spirits to one day choose truth, we sometimes forget that a day is fast approaching where we (should) begin to turn them loose and entrust them to their Creator.

What then?

Will God watch over them as closely as we have? Will he make sure that their lives are comfortable and safe and purposeful and safe and happy and safe? As long as "The Call" (or something comparable) never comes, we have a tendency to believe that God is performing his co-parenting job well enough. But what about the day when "The Call" comes. What then?

"God, were You paying attention? I asked You, just this morning, to watch over them while they were driving. Remember?"

"Lord, You promised that You'd never leave them nor forsake them!"

"Father, I dedicated this child to your Kingdom before his birth. Why didn't you take care of him?"

"Jesus, I want to trust you, but I need to know that my children will . . . "

These and countless similar thoughts invade the minds of true believers every day. For all of us, I will end with the words God placed on my shaken, parental heart on Thanksgiving Day:

Child, do not trust your eyes. Everything I allow, everything I prevent, is sovereignly appointed with a divine purpose. I make ALL THINGS work together for good. . . I AM able. I love them more than you can possibly know. My eternal goals for your children are far higher and far more glorious and far more weighty than anything you can think or imagine or dream. Pray. Continue to intercede. Believe. Continue to speak truth into their lives. Know that what I have done in you, I am doing in them. Do not trust your eyes. Trust Me.

In other words . . .

For you should walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Cor 5-7) Know that all things work together for good...(Romans 8:28) Be satisfied and fully assured that God is able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He has promised.(Rom 4:21) I love them with an everlasting love.(Jer 31:3) I Am He who is able to do super-abundantly, far over and above all that you dare ask or think - infinitely beyond your highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes or dreams... (Eph 3:20). My ways are higher than your ways, my thoughts higher than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9) Pray without ceasing. (1 Thes 5:17). Speak excellent things; make your mouth speak truth. (Prov 8:6-8). For you should walk by faith, and not by sight.(2 Cor 5-7) I will preserve them. Put your trust in Me.(Psalm 16:1)

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Are there areas in our walk with God that harbor hidden (even unknown) situations that we are afraid to trust Him with? He is more than faithful to show them to us if we ask Him. And then, He is more than able to deliver us from fear to victory so that we may walk in true freedom - released from the bondage of fear. Did Jesus give His life for anything less?

In Him . . .

Visit Darnelle at her personal blog: All Things Work Together...

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Blogger Denise said...

May God continue to bless your family.

December 15, 2008 at 12:20 AM  
Blogger Betsy Markman said...

Good reminder! Why is it so much easier to trust God with ourselves than with our kids? Kind-of silly, really. He's the same God all the time. But still, it IS harder sometimes.

December 15, 2008 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Dukes Lee said...

We know in theory that God loves our children even more than we do -- that they are on loan to us. But letting them go and trusting them to God's care, is something akin to taking your heart from your chest and letting it walk out the door. SCAR-EEE.

Every mom should cut out the prayer you wrote, from God to earthly parent, and read it during our times of Freak Attack.

Blessings to you!

December 15, 2008 at 8:28 AM  
Blogger Celeste said...

what a great reminder for us as moms- To trust Him with EVERYTHING- which includes our kids! Really enjoyed this blog, thank you.

December 15, 2008 at 8:28 AM  
Blogger Christa said...

Great post. Once a parent always a parent, even when the children are grown and gone. I have been praying for my own since day one and still feel twinges of pain as the cause goes. God is almighty and I know he loves then all more then we do. What's left but to turn our children over to God, heart, sould, mind, body and spirit and trust Him complety with their lives and His will.

God bless, have a great day.

December 15, 2008 at 8:33 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

With two drivers and one on the horizon, I feel your words....

It's true....

As usual you have written a message of the heart...

Love it!


December 15, 2008 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Theresa @ Take A Sentimental Journey said...

Great post.God bless you.

December 15, 2008 at 11:15 AM  
Blogger LauraLee Shaw said...

Amen. What I needed to hear today!

December 15, 2008 at 3:51 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

This post was beautifully written. I love the scriptures at the end.

My first son died when he was nine-months old. It was through those dark, confusing days of grief and wrestling with God that I attained intimacy and trust in Him that I never knew possible.

I hate that I had to go through that trial. And I pray (seriously, God...I really don't want to lose another child!) that I'll never be asked to walk that road again.

But I am a living testimony that He will use the most horrible things and somehow, miraculously, work them together for your good.

Thanks for sharing...and I'm so thankful that all is well with your child. :)


December 15, 2008 at 8:19 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Wow, this was just incredible.

I loved when you said,

"The Call" is a secret menace in the background of every parent's mind.

How true. I'm just so blessed every thing turned out well for you. My heart would of been in my stomach.

My mom recieved "that call", but lost her son in a horrible accident.

I recieved that call to discover my son had a brain tumor.

Yes, life can change so drastically at any point.

God's grace was there, time and time again.

Truly all things do work out for good, in HIS time.

Great post!

December 15, 2008 at 8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Post Darnelle! Wow! May the Lord continue to bless you I love the scripture references used in Other Words...!

Thank you again my dear sister!

December 16, 2008 at 11:57 AM  
Anonymous debra said...

Last Sept 13,2007 at 9:30am I went into my 16 year old sons room to wake him for a doctor appt an found him comotosed and in respritory failure. He had overdosed on a drug, Fentynal. I too at that moment in my life questioned why God would do such a thing to not only my child, but to his. At that time in my life I was very strong in my faith. But the doubt crept up on me like a black snake. Satan almost accomplished his goal by destroying my child and my faith. But God seen me and my family through. He spared my childs life and we have grown even stronger in his faith. Never again will I question why something has happened. He knows full well what he is doing, an always it is for a purpose. During times such as these, it is very hard to be strong. I'm glad that you were. Never give up, keep your faith strong through all trials. May God continue to bless your lives.

December 16, 2008 at 3:39 PM  
Blogger Today's Christian Mom~ said...

I am thankful with you that the day did not end in tragedy. My eyes filled with tears when I read this because oh my gosh I do struggle with that every day and then I feel so guilty for worry and fear. I know in my heart He allows things to happen and protects them but sometimes my mind gets in the way. What a wonderful post.

December 17, 2008 at 4:16 PM  

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