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Monday, June 9, 2008

On Wearing Bras...

Please Welcome Natalie Witcher from I am (not)

On Wearing Bras

My oldest daughter, “Boog” wants to wear a "bra." It's not a real one and it's not like she even needs one. She's 9 and only 9 and there is nothing that shows she is anything but 9. Doesn't sound like a big deal does it? But, my husband (whom I affectionately call in the Blogosphere, Pastor JT) sees it as such. At first I didn't really agree. I mean, what's the harm in wearing a little "bra?" No one can see it and it makes her feel kind of older. Aha, that's the problem. Well, that's part of the problem. In fact, it's not really the problem. wait...

My husband couldn't really figure out why it bothered him so much, he just knew that he didn't want her wearing one.

Modesty? No.

Too "grown up?" Kind of.

It wasn't until he was talking about it with my brother-in-law about the whole thing that it snapped into the real reason why.

Boog wants to be someone she isn't.

She isn't a girl with "girls" yet, but she wants to be one. She isn't a girl who can wear make-up, but she wants to be. She wants to be someone else. Not that she isn't happy being Boog, she just wants what other people have.

Be older.
Wear this or that.
Have what they have.

Is it not the ageless dilemma, dare I say bondage, that women struggle with even as adults? We think we'd be happier if we had a job, or if we stayed home with our kids. We'd sure feel better about ourselves if we had the house she does, or a husband like that. We would most certainly feel better if we had her body or her hair.

"If only I had_____________."
"If only I was_____________."

You fill in the blank.

I want to train her to live in the moment God has for her. It's not so much about her acting out being and feeling "older." It's about her living in the moment of her age, purpose, and calling. Even at 9.

Not that there is anything with dreaming and having goals. No, that's good and right. But, I don't want her dreaming about the latest look, fashion, or boy. So, if that means the bra goes in the trash and some tears are shed, then so be it.

What about at 34? How often have I wished I wore a different bra size, so to speak. Lived on someone else calendar? Had someone else's opportunities? How often have I fallen for wishing I lived on that other, greener grass?

How much effort do I put into my life to make it what I wish it was? Which of those wishes should I go after? Which ones need to come under God's authority? Which ones do I need to stop wishing for?

Needless to say, the bra is going in the trash simply because she got busted wearing it the other day when we went out. It was okay to wear it around the house, but since she lied and snuck it out of the house to go to a party with us, it's going in the big green bin. We will remove the very thing that pulls her to feel like someone she isn't and caused her to sin.

...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...Hebrews 12:1 NIV

Our value is in Jesus and what He has done for us. He has a calling on our lives and we will live it in confidence and with grace. We have to stop believing the enemy who whispers in our ear that we would be happy "if only..." Stop letting those "wishes" cause us to sin against God and lie to ourselves and other about who we really are.

Father, may we find all we need in You!

Is there a “bra” you need to get rid of?

In Him,



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Blogger Kelly @ Love Well said...

Your husband nailed it, Natalie. It's a sad thing when we try to be something we're not.

Great devotional.

June 9, 2008 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger DeeDee said...

OH.. It is so easy to get caught up in the the "If only's" and the "What if's".

Thanks for the reminder - whatever our age is...

June 9, 2008 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger Natalie Witcher said...

It's an honor to Guest Post! I pray all of us find our every ounce of fulfillment in Christ!

June 9, 2008 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger lori said...

This was FABULOUS! I loved it! (but I've already told you that!!) The message is one that we ALL struggle with and sadly it began when we were, oh..about 9!

The "if only...." whispers of the enemy are what leads us to sin...You did hit this one "spot on!"

I think you got to a few of us today!!


June 9, 2008 at 12:29 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

I have older daughters....and one younger. They all seem to want to move on more quickly... It's hard to hold them back sometimes. Especially when everything around us screams the opposite.

I hear you! Been there, done that, still there.

Enjoyed having you here!

June 9, 2008 at 3:16 PM  
Blogger Michelle V said...

I am actually struggling with this same type of thing (although obviously not bras teehee) with my 15 year old son. He has a bad case of the "wants"! I would love to see him just enjoy being 15.

June 9, 2008 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger Tricia said...

What a great devotion, it gives me food for pondering on! Thanks so much for sharing!

June 9, 2008 at 4:00 PM  
Blogger Chelsey said...

Nat -
First and foremost - awesome post. You've always had great insight! :)

Secondly, it's crazy to think that us crazy college girls have all these kiddo's. (We are still 21 right??)

It is great to see you over here! :) What a small world!

June 9, 2008 at 4:29 PM  
Blogger Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

Excellent thoughts to ponder. And good for you for throwing away the bra. I'm sure that I have many to get rid of!

June 9, 2008 at 8:14 PM  
Blogger Natalie Witcher said...

Julie and Michelle, God will give you wisdom. He always does when we ask.

Chels...I feel 21, but my body doesn't agree!

Lisa-Just ask God to show you what He might want to change in you. He's pretty good at that!

June 9, 2008 at 10:57 PM  
Blogger Sondie said...

Fabulous post! Great reminders that it is even at a young age that satan tries to woo us away from being who God created us to be...that who God created us to be isn't quite good enough. Amazing that our own sins are revealed by our kids. I see the same thing in my 8 year my 38 year old self. Good for you and hubby that you found the root issue!

June 10, 2008 at 5:30 AM  
Anonymous elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Had my mammogram yesterday. I wonder if our "eager to grow up" daughters are ready for that part of the maturing?

There's just so much to it all...this raising up of children in the light and truth of Jesus. You've offered some good thoughts on the matter. Thank you for sharing so openly about the matter.


June 10, 2008 at 2:19 PM  
Anonymous Genikwa Williams said...

Excellent post! And what a powerful message about knowing who we are in Christ!

Thanks for sharing. God bless!


June 15, 2008 at 9:31 PM  

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