Rolls of Doubt

“Mommy, Where are the rolls?” My children LOVE rolls. I reassure them that the rolls are there, just warming up.

Thoughts about the first post to be written linger with thoughts about the biography that wasn’t done. I won’t mention there is no existing photo of me. Okay, I did just mention it.

“What to write? Something witty: Something serious. Maybe both?

Oh wait!

How about something more profound like…Something that won’t put people to sleep for starters?

Yes, that’s it!

It’s always a good thing to start off with something that doesn’t put people to sleep: It’s difficult to keep the attention of a snoring audience. More assurances the rolls are still there. No, we weren’t deprived of them by the oven for dinner.

Moving around the kitchen, my thoughts settled on God placing on my heart to read not only about Job, but also about Paul. I ponder why Paul had such an impact on my thoughts: I flashed back to something I hadn’t known Paul who was called by God to share His Word, who wrote 13 books of the Bible, had struggled and despaired about what was he doing.

“No way,” I gasped. Not Paul! Paul could do anything.

Didn’t God pluck him off the Damascus Road AND didn’t he write 13 books of the Bible himself: Yet he had doubts, he questioned, he despaired, and he struggled. God gently reminded me of what was shared one Sunday by my pastor.”

Romans 7:15-19 (NIV)
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.."

Whoa! All I had to worry about was a post…and rolls...don’t forget the rolls. Paul had the burden of books to write, the Gospel to share, his own walk with God and people were after him and I was worried about what again?

Sometimes we can get overcome by fears, concerns and a pile of laundry falling out of the basket, that we forget even Paul doubted and sometime struggled, but still, he pushed forward.

We all have concerns that truly concern us. However, God is here to help us through our struggles and our doubts. He is in control and wants to take control to help us. The hard part is giving up that need for control and saying to Him,” Lord, you’re in control not me; Do As YOU will with me.”

While writing this post, I came on a site that talked about doubt and fear and a movie was mentioned, called” Quo Vadis” where Paul is in a forest and comes to a glowing tree and says,”Quo Vadis Domine?” or ”Which way Lord?”.

How many times do we tend to feel that way in our lives? “Which way Lord?” we ask ourselves. How many times have you felt that yourself and have a “Which way Lord?”

I find that by obeying and reading God’s Word, by trusting the Lord, praying to Him, and depending on Him, when I get my own “Which way Lord?”, the doubt becomes a little easier to deal with and there is less to fear.

Like this quote I had read:

"Be like those creatures of nature that have no choice but to trust God, and you will always find Him true.”

We serve a loving God whose not going to lead us to do anything He thinks we can’t do or shouldn't do and the things we need to get done, will be done.

I Corinthians 4:8 (New King James Version)

"We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; "