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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Standing on the Edge of Peace


The Cafe welcomes Heidi Yocum today!!


To call me edgy would be somewhat of an understatement. The past few days have shown that me that all of civilization is annoying and I am the only sane and rational person left. Okay, maybe I have somewhat of an unrealistic view of myself and the world surrounding me.

The truth is that I am wearing a large red button with a sign that taunts, “Go ahead. Just try pushing my big red button!” Whether it’s my child “forgetting” to clean his room, a long wait in the Walmart checkout lane or my husband questioning my dinner choice, I am a walking time bomb, waiting for someone to bump into me and challenge my patience.

I could blame it on hormones. However, being only 33 years of age, I can’t exactly throw out the suggestion of menopause and the timing just isn’t quite right for PMS. Although, I have to admit, the thought that I could blame any flare up of irritation on hormones is enormously appealing.

Truth is…if I care to come clean with myself. The truth is I am tired. I have nothing left.

I am so weary of people begging for my attention. Everyone wants a piece of me. I feel like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, bits of me scattered here and there, wondering how to put myself back together.

My kids? What don’t they want from me? “Where’s my lunch?” “Elijah hit me!” “Why do we need a bath?” “Mom, I wet my bed.”

My husband? He walks in the door and says the ugly words I’ve come to resent, “what’s to eat?”

My friends? “Can you babysit my kid while I run to the store?” “I need your advice.”

Oh, for the love!!! I am worn out. Finished. I have nothing left, world! Stop talking to me. Leave me alone. I am tired. So tired.

Tired.

I just want peace.

Peace.

Peace from the demands of my life. Peace from schedules, dirty clothes, troubled friends, high energy kids, busy husband, vacuuming, dusting, noise, conflicts. The list goes on and on and I am pretty sure that there aren’t enough trees in this world to list all the things I may need peace from.

I love the enlightening definition of peace:

“a calm and quiet state, free from disturbances or noise, a state of mental calm and serenity, with no anxiety, freedom from conflict or disagreement among people or groups of people.”

Peace. The thought of it almost drives me to a utopian state of mind. Imagine an existence without noise, anxiety, conflict and disagreement!

How is it possible to “cook” up this type of life? One ingredient: Jesus.

When my mind and emotions suffer from a lack of peace, I know it’s because my mind and emotions are not aimed directly at Jesus. I’ve left Jesus behind and tried to tackle life my own way, with my own strength. Lack of patience with others, frustration with situations, difficulty loving friends and annoyance at my family are all symptoms of a greater problem…my relationship with Jesus.

Isaiah 26:3 “you will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.”

When my mind is set on Jesus, when my heart is focused on God’s will for my life, when I am determined to live life God’s way, the world around me falls away in view of heaven. All of these irritations in my life mean nothing in comparison with Jesus and what He did for me on the cross.

And to tell you the truth, I am pretty sure that in about 2 weeks from now, I won’t even remember that my husband was an hour late coming home for dinner.

But, what will matter 2 weeks from now is how I responded to him when he walked in the door after all the dinner dishes had been clean up.

“Lord Jesus, you will keep me in perfect peace when I keep my eyes focused on you. I am determined to trust in you, believing that my edginess will be replaced by peace as you give me the strength to lovingly distribute your grace to those around me.”


In Him,

Heidi Yocum

Join Heidi at her personal site, where she is constantly searching for peace!

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8 Comments:

Blogger Denise said...

May God bless you abundantly sweetie.

December 31, 2008 at 12:34 AM  
Anonymous Willow said...

This is a beautiful and wise and true (at least for me!) post. I agree, when I find it hardest to cope with whatever life has in store from the mundane such as burned eggs, to the big stuff like illness or loss, it's ALWAYS because I'm not Christ-centered at that time.

Thanks for writing it so much better than I ever could! Bless you

December 31, 2008 at 6:00 AM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Amen Sista! Loved your blog today! I 100% relate! Between Christmas and a big New Year's Eve party I have planned tonight - I am stretched thin. Then my kids, who never wet their beds, have wet their beds the last two nights! Argh!

Peace - I want to ring in the New Year with peace! Thanks for your inspiration!
Courtney
www.womenlivingwell.org

December 31, 2008 at 6:09 AM  
Blogger Homesteader in Training said...

Great post! It struck right to the heart. Jesus is our peace and only our focus on Him will bring it to us!
Hugs.
Kim

December 31, 2008 at 7:18 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

I remember those days.... pure exhaustion....

You've got it right though... gaze fixed on Jesus...

Thanks for sharing your heart!
Julie

December 31, 2008 at 10:56 AM  
Blogger Greta said...

Oh my, I can totally relate! Thank you for sharing and helping us to keep focused.
Happy New Year!

December 31, 2008 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger ChristiS said...

I needed this....off to listen to a Bible study podcast to focus on Him right now!

January 1, 2009 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

I am LATE getting to read this...but this is RIGHT on time for ME!

He never fails to do stuff like that for me---when I least expect it too....Brings me peace. That surpasses all my finite understanding...YOU are one awesome writer...very real. VERY needed !

January 6, 2009 at 7:53 PM  

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