Internet Cafe

Friday, July 25, 2008

Do You REALLY Trust God?

I have struggled and struggled recently with the ability to fully trust God. I never truly realized the extent to which I wrestled with Him over even the simplest of things.

"Amy. I will protect the boys. Trust me."

I hear that and immediately begin to think, "Yeah but God you don't know how they are. I mean, one minute they are reading classic literature and the next they are trying to do a "kick flip" and a "lolly" on a skateboard. I don' t know about you God but I don't even know what a "lolly" is but it just doesn't sound good! I mean..."

"Amy," He says, "Trust me."

As I'm thinking this my son runs in to tell me he just did an "ollie" but that he won't try it again for a while because he almost hurt himself but he was quick to tell me, "I didn't though 'cause God loves me and takes care of me, huh mom?'

"And a little child shall lead." eh? All I could do is throw up my hands and say, "Okay God. You have my attention."

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”
Matthew 17:20

As I meditated over scripture and asked for revelation of what God wanted to show me I began to pace the floor and pray. Then I heard Him tell me to sit down.

"What? You want me to sit down, God? Ooookaaaaay."

So I sat down in the nearest chair and started to initiate a dialogue between God and I about why He had a need for me to sit down in the chair and that is when He dropped it into my spirit.

I had more faith in the chair's ability to sustain me than I did in God's ability to sustain me. I never questioned whether or not the chair would hold me, or if it had a flaw in it somewhere, or whether or not it had secure footing. I certainly didn't question whether or not it loved me enough to hold me up. I just sat. I simply trusted. I didn't walk around and test all of the chairs to see which was the strongest or which seemed better for the job. I had more faith in a random inanimate object than I did in my loving and eternal, living God. How big is that mustard seed?

God also showed me that another root of not trusting or having no faith is pride. Pride in my ability to make what I perceive to be better decisions than God, faster response time than God, and more love for my children than God. Yes, I truly thought, and said it often, nobody loves them like I do. I didn't mean to include God in this but obviously in my heart I had.

I wish I could tell you that I immediately repented but I didn't. In fact, this happened a couple of years ago and I just recalled it recently while I was once again struggling with my ability to trust Him. I repented. I am moving forward. And now just to make Him laugh I shake and push on my chairs almost every time before I sit in them. *BIG smile* He loves me!

"You shall have no other gods before me."
Deuteronomy 5:7

You see, the funny part about my chair shaking escapades is that I knew clearly that I didn't worship a chair or put more trust in it than in God. What I had begun to realize was that my faith was in me. My trust was in me. I knew the chair would hold me because I had sat in it before. I trusted me and that is why I now had a problem trusting God. The false God? It was myself.

{now weeping and face down on the carpet}

God, forgive me for putting more faith and trust in myself than in you. You are my father, my creator, the love of my life. Forgive me for thinking that I am the only one who had my best interests at heart. I will wholeheartedly try to die to self each and every day and grow in you. Please help me to do that. Thank you for being such an awesome and loving example. In Jesus' name. Amen.

  • Have you put more faith in yourself than in God in certain areas? Write down what God shows you and repent for it.
  • In what areas of your life could you stand to gain more faith?
  • Read Hebrews 11:1. What does this scripture speak to your heart?

I'd love for you to visit me at my personal blog: In Pursuit of Proverbs 31

In Pursuit of Proverbs 31

Labels: , ,


Blogger Denise said...

Wonderful post sweetie.

July 25, 2008 at 1:18 AM  
Blogger RefreshMom said...

I wouldn't say that I have more faith in myself than in God, but when it comes to my kids safety, sometimes I don't feel that I have faith in anything/anyone! It's by far the hardest thing I've ever had to consider really surrendering. (And here's a link to a post with my 2 year old doing an "air ollie." We haven't given in to his pleas for a real skateboard yet!)

July 25, 2008 at 2:43 AM  
Blogger Laurie Ann said...

What a great devotion, Amy. And there will be no skateboards at Nonnie and Paw Paw's - easy for me to say since the grandson isn't even 1 yet.

July 25, 2008 at 7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Faith! Wow! It was given from our Savior to us! Thank you, Amy! He has given us the ability to have faith and we have to trust Him. I was thinking of one of my sons as you were sharing your story about the "lolly" and "skateboards" and the fear we have as parents. That same son was teaching the Bible Study last night and the subject was faith! Amazing how our Savior takes care of them! We ended the Bible Study with reading Hebrews 11! I just wanted to tell you thank you for sharing your heart! You are a real blessing!

July 25, 2008 at 7:55 AM  
Blogger Becky said...

Thank you for sharing the thoughts of your heart concerning this! It's hard for many of us! Especially as mothers!

July 25, 2008 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger Hope said...

Thank you Amy for being so open. Just this week (as I am doing the study 'No Other Gods' by Kelly Minter) did I allow myself to see what the Lord has been trying to tell me - that I am my own 'god'. I so often think I know better. Oh my. I am thinking that not until I actually let Jesus be the Lord of my life will I actually start to be satisfied (know who I am, feel His peace, etc.). Thanks so much for the post!

July 25, 2008 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger Angela said...

Beautifully written...i needed this today!

July 25, 2008 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Yes, Amy, you are so right. The bottom line often for me is do I trust myself more than I trust God?

I am on the verge of sending my 18 year old daughter on a 14 hour flight with layover, alone.. She will meet our friends who are missionaries in Asia at the airport on the other end. My daughter feels it is God's call on her to go for 3 weeks and spend time ministering to the families at that location of mission. She's never been on a airplane. And I have to put her on it to go it alone.

So, who do I trust? People tell me they can't believe I am letting her go. How can I stop her? Am I supposed to tell her she cannot follow God where He is asking her to go because I am afraid?

Ultimately my daughter belongs to Him. She is safe in His arms. He will travel with her. Do I trust HIM?

I hear ya...I'm there with ya.


July 25, 2008 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger KeepItSimple said...

Thank you for this post! While we don't have skateboards, we did have a discussion recently about faith and trust similar to the chair incident. We rode in a Sky Gondola - I think that is what it is called - and it struck me...we didn't look it over. We never looked up to see how it traveled. We just climbed into this glass car that was suspended on a cable and went for a ride. We gave it (and the workers running it) our trust and faith without even realizing this is what we had done. It was a great discussion.

Thanks again. I have often prayed about my miniscule faith. I am learning, slowly, to truly trust Him.

Blessings -

July 25, 2008 at 12:59 PM  
Blogger windycindy said...

Hi, I have two sons and I have been trying so hard and long to "Let go and Let God!" A good lesson in humility for me. Thanks, Cindi

July 25, 2008 at 1:49 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Great lesson! I'm a college student with student loans piling up. Many times I question my decision to attend the school I attend, but I know I'm where I'm suppose to be. That's when God asks me to trust. Many times I fail though! Thanks for the reminder! I really enjoyed it!!


July 25, 2008 at 5:09 PM  
Blogger Tracy Berta-daughter to the King, wife, mother, speaker, writer said...

Beautifully written, Amy! How I needed to hear it. I loved the analogy of the chair!!!

Blessings, Sister!

July 25, 2008 at 10:21 PM  
Blogger Darnelle said...

What a word!

So here's the deal. Every so often, we'll meet. You'll thump me on the forehead and remind me that God is faithful and worthy to be trusted and I am NOT worthy to be trusted. Then I'll do the same for you. Then we'll meet again the following week and do it all again because we're knuckle-heads who get too busy to remember how BIG God is!

How's that for a plan?

love ya,

July 28, 2008 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger Susan said...

Incredible, and so timely.

Thanks Amy, I really needed this tonight~

July 29, 2008 at 10:01 PM  

Post a Comment

It is good to hear from you... thank you so very much for leaving a note on the table. That makes us smile!

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home