What are You Waiting For?

What are You Waiting For?

My year in the UK has taught me quite a few things. I can make a convincing apple & rhubarb crumble. I understand how to navigate a roundabout… I think? And after a few slightly awkward conversations, I’ve learned the difference between ‘trousers’ and ‘pants’.

Something else I’ve learned about is waiting. England has provided me with plenty of opportunities to begin to figure this one out. For example, on any given day, I wait for the sun to make an appearance – which, in this land of rain and gloom, is rare. Given the current exchange rate, I’m waiting to buy make up – I haven’t bought so much as an eyeliner pencil in over 8 months. In my job as a youth worker, I’m constantly waiting for the kids in my youth groups to quiet down so we can move on to the next activity. Before I landed in the UK, I waited as 2 tense weeks passed for my visa to be approved by the British Consulate. With all this practice, you’d think I’d at least be a little better at waiting than I am. Funnily enough, I’m not.

I’m currently in the process of trying to figure out what I’m doing next – once I step off the plane in Memphis International, that’s pretty much where my plan ends and the improvisation begins. Just like in every great Disney film, I’ve arrived at this climax: our heroes are safe thus far, but wait! They’re still not out of harm’s way. Danger lurks just a step behind.

One character will turn to the leader and ask, his voice dripping with panic, “What do we do now?!” The leader, slightly stunned by their sudden arrival at safety, will turn and reply simply, “Well… I don’t really know. I didn’t count on making it this far.”

This scenario fairly accurately describes where I am at the moment. This year has been my grand adventure… while also serving as my own clever way of putting my future on hold. Whilst gaining life experience and exploring another culture, I’ve been spending my spare time praying for direction. I desperately want to know what’s going to happen next.

Sometimes, when I pray, I can get so frustrated – I pray, wait for an answer, and it seems as though nothing happens.

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Aimee Cait. Remember me? I packed up and moved far away from my family to this strange land where it’s always rainy and they eat yucky food and… I want my mom, Lord! Where are you? And why won’t you answer me?”
This year, I realize that God doesn’t just dole out ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answers. Sometimes, He asks us to wait.

Wait for the Lord; Be strong and take heart And wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 40:1

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
Isaiah 30:18

Am I blessed because I’m waiting?

Why wait?

Why can't God just tell me whatever it is He's trying to teach me?

Why do I have to learn this way?

This year, I've learned that my father God does hear me. He knows I’m aching for answers. He feels my pain more fully than I understand. He wants me to know the answer, as well… but in His time, not mine. My timing isn’t perfect… but His is.

So while my future is up in the air, I don’t know exactly where I’ll end up next year, I don’t know what I’m going to do or who I’m going to be… I do know this: that waiting for God brings about blessing, and even though it might feel like I’ve put my life on hold, God knows what He’s doing. He’s got access to the big picture, and He finds joy in revealing it to me, piece by piece.