Don't Say That!!

"Hey, girl! How are you?" she asked with a soft, concerned voice.

Choking back tears, I replied to her, "I'm great! Life is wonderful! How about you?"

Then she just looked at me as though she had seen a ghost. She said, "You don't have to pretend. I understand what you're going through. I want to be here for you."

Her words cut like a knife. She was the first one to call my bluff. I thought I had hidden it so well. Instantly I began to feel guilt; guilt for lying, guilt for not hiding it well enough, and guilt for not letting a friend in when I needed one most.

It was after all the worst year of my life. My marriage was ending, my brother was in Iraq, the ministry I worked for was closing its doors and I had no idea where to go or what to do. But no one would have ever known because I wouldn't say anything. You see, I was taught not to. She knew because she knew me and I thank God that she did.

For years I was taught from the pulpit to watch what I say in regards to the current condition of my life. For example, when my middle son was spending most of his first year of life in and out of hospitals, I was taught to tell people that he was healed and was doing fine... even if he really wasn't. I was taught that this was a mandate from Romans 4:17.

"(as it is written, “I have made you a father of many nations”) in the presence of Him whom he believed—God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;"

What is typically quoted is, "Call those things that be not, as though they were." As you can see, this is only a fraction of the scripture and only a small part of a complete thought. It has not been used in context concerning this teaching.

I was taught that when I was having a rough day that I should put a smile on my face and a bounce in my step and tell everyone that I was wonderful. Why? Because then it would come to pass. This is not what that scripture means nor is this method biblical.

For starters, we are lying if we do this. The bible clearly states this in Exodus 23:1, Deuteronomy 19:18, Psalm 27:12, Proverbs 6:19, Proverbs 12:17, and many more that we are not to bear false witness or give false testimonies. If you don't acknowledge facts then you can't be delivered. If you convince yourself that they never existed then you can't believe God intervened to make it better. If you don't tell the truth about your situation then God can never get the GLORY for its end result!

When you acknowledge facts about your current situation it does not mean that you have no faith.... it means that you do! How much faith does it take to believe God changed something that you believe never existed? That's denial.

Think about that for a second and let it sink in.

"But what about speaking positively, Amy? Shouldn't we be practicing the message of speaking 'life'?"

I'm so glad that you asked! God tells us about choosing life over death and blessings over curses in Deuteronomy 30:19.

"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live."

We should acknowledge fact but speak "life." That way God gets the glory. Consider what happened in John 11. Jesus specifically told Mary and Martha that the death of their brother Lazurus was to bring glory to Him. Think of how differently it would have been if they had just buried him, put a smile on their face, and pretended everything was grand.

Look at how my conversation from 4 years ago could have gone better:

"Hey, girl! How are you?" she asked with a soft, concerned voice.

I replied to her, "I'm not as good as I could be and I need your prayers. I know that I could be encouraged if we could talk and have coffee one day soon. I just have many things going on right now but I know God's hand is in the midst of it and He will use it all for good. He always comes through for us. How about you?"

In that scenario I would have acknowledged that God's hand was required to bring peace to my life. I didn't put on a show, pretending everything was hunky dorey, and then just dismiss my friend as though she didn't know any better. I gave her an opportunity to serve as Jesus would have and I gave God the opportunity to be glorified through my situation. Now if only it had actually happened that way. Thank God for mercy and forgiveness. I'm glad He is faithful to us even when we aren't faithful to Him.

I can't think of one instance in the bible where someone claimed to be fine, but really wasn't, all in the name of Jesus. Why should we?

Talk about being tested when God gives us revelation and we begin to write about it and share it with others. I wrote this post on Sunday in preparation for today. Well, I found out on Monday that my son's vision (20/800) cannot be restored to his left eye (his vision has slowly deteriorated since birth). He also has developed learning problems as a result of the condition. He will have to wear protective glasses for the rest of his life to protect his good eye from accidents. I am acknowledging the fact that my son cannot see in that eye and that he has learning difficulties but I am also thanking God for the miracle that he is going to give to our family. He restored vision to many others in the bible and he is no respecter of persons. My God is a BIG God. I know He will do this and more for Gevan but I seek your prayer and I ask you to agree with me that Gevan will be healed for the glory of God in the name of His precious son, Jesus.

Thank you.


I'd love for you to visit me at my personal blog: In Pursuit of Proverbs 31