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Saturday, March 8, 2008

Financial Infidelity

From my Tuesday series, "Two shall become One"...


I heard a story once about a woman who loved to spend money! She was truly a shop-aholic in every sense of the word.

Her husband had sat her down and talked about the fact that they really needed to be on a budget and would appreciate her help with this endeavor.
One day she sheepishly came home with yet another new outfit from her favorite designer.

She was so excited about her great find and she just knew that her husband would see things her way once he saw how wonderful she looked in this new outfit. She rushed upstairs and put it on to model for her husband.

As she was spinning and twirling in front of her less than impressed husband, he reminded her that they had made a commitment not to spend any money that was not in the budget.

"Oh, but look how darling this is honey, I just couldn't resist! I'm telling you...the devil made me do it!" she said.
"But you know that when the devil is tempting you, you should just tell him, 'get thee behind me satan!'" the husband said.

"Oh, but I DID!" she said, "and the devil said that it looked good from the back too!"


The story is funny, but unfortunately the subject matter is not. Honoring our husbands with the way that we handle the family finances and spend money is a huge issue these days.

This is the example the Lord gives us:

Prov 31:10-12
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,all the days of her life.

Prov 31:27
She watches over the affairs of her household

It is called, "financial infidelity" and it is one of the leading causes of divorce today. The signs of financial infidelity include hiding money or debt, failure to disclose assets, keeping a secret bank account, and secret spending.

This type of dishonesty can threaten a marriage. The spending and secrets are basically the symptoms. The real problem is there's been a breakdown in trust between a husband and wife.

I love to shop. I love to spend money. But I have learned that unless we are in agreement about the money spent, it can bring strife into our marriage.

I want to encourage you to respect your husband with your spending. Never make a major financial decisions without his consent.

Be a team financially.

If we need to purchase something secretely, we probably shouldn't be purchasing it.

I think we all want our husband's to have full confidence in us and know that we will bring him good and not harm as the Proverbs say.

Let's not open our marriage up to "financial infidelity." Let's be financially faithful!
Create trust by honoring one another with your spending.

I posted this on my blog this week and got an overwhelming response which is why I thought I would post it here also. If you have time, check out the responses and testimonies of other women in the comments. Here is a link to that post.


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Blogger Denise said...

Bless you sweet one.

March 8, 2008 at 12:51 AM  
Blogger Mocha with Linda said...

I'm so glad you shared this with everyone. Such a good message.

March 8, 2008 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger windycindy said...

Been there, done that! Learned a lot!

March 8, 2008 at 11:07 AM  
Anonymous Nur Wadik said...

I will link your good blog to my blog. Thanks for your inspiration.

March 18, 2008 at 12:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually racked up a large credit card debt without telling my husband. He started to suspect and I told him. My debt was mostly for groceries, school books my children needed, and gas in the car when we did not have any money in our account. I did use it to buy Christmas gifts fior the children though.
I tried to talk to him numerous times about money before I ever started using the credit card. Unfortunately we wern't talking about anything, he was drinking way in excess and we were fighting. The debt took about 2 years to accrue near the end of the 2nd year we started to see a counselor and began talking. I am at a loss because I wish things had been different but I do not trust him and he does not trust me. We're trying to build it back up but he does not think that his bahavior is important in the equation. He really only sees that I was wrong and he can't trust me. Any advice?

May 11, 2008 at 7:06 AM  

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