Father, Give Me...
"There was a man who had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.' So he divided his property between them. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and travelled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country and he began to be in need..." From Luke 15
Father, give me...
Give me time.
Give me money.
Give me control.
Give me freedom.
I am guilty of this. I am guilty of wanting to take what God intends for me to use in the boundary of His will and instead trying to make it mine. I just know I can use it more efficiently on my own. And it's so much easier, too. I don't want to be tied down or accountable. I am able on my own to accomplish my day's tasks- caring for my family, serving my community, making my house into a home day after day.
But then, no.
I squander it. All I desire for good works against me. I find myself frail and weak. I find myself insufficient. I find I was much better off when I was within my Father's gates, using His gifts the way He intended. But where am I now?
...and travelled to a distant country...
I am alone. I have strayed far from home and can't see my way back. I am lost, set adrift by my own selfishness and pride. Can I make the journey back? I must try. But wait...
But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him...
"While the prodigal son was still thinking about what he would say to his father,... his father ran to meet him. What does that mean, to run to meet him, but to assure him of his mercy in advance." (Saint Augustine)
Mercy in advance. God sees me. He runs to meet me. He knows my heart and has merely waited for it to turn. I see His mercy, I know His love. I again allow myself to be wrapped in His arms and forgiven. No words are needed, but I say them anyway,
"I am not worthy, let me simply serve you..."
But my worth is found at the cross. I am His child. Forgiveness is sweet and fellowship is sweeter. Thank you, Father.
Though this scene is played over again and again, the ending is always the same. The Father is always watching the horizon, waiting for our return. Will you pray with me?
Loving Father, thank you for your mercy in advance. Let us always seek you, draw near to you, desire you above all else. And when we fail, open your arms to us and show us what true love is so we may show it to others. Amen.
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